


The Haves and The Have Nots

by MissHarper



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Is Totally Smitten, Class Differences, Eros and Psyche, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Hades and Persephone, Light Angst, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Poor Rey Kenobi, Pygmalion and Galatea, Rich Ben Solo, Smut, TA/student au, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-07-15 03:20:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 76,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16054424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHarper/pseuds/MissHarper
Summary: Rey Kenobi was a mystery but Ben Solo was desperate to know more. As a TA he really shouldn’t get close to students that were in his class. It wasn’t necessarily forbidden by university rules but it didn’t look good, either. Tutoring her was likely a mistake, given how he felt about her, but Rey needed help. Professor Holdo had asked and he couldn’t seem to say no. He also couldn’t understand why she seemed to hate him so much.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> just want to give a huge thank you to @DragonWhiskers here on Ao3 for making this amazing moodboard for me
> 
> i haven't written a fic since TFA came out so i'm SERIOUSLY rusty. please be gentle.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/31249233928/in/dateposted-public/)

Rey Kenobi sat on the wooden bench on the west side of campus staring at the toe of the weathered boot on her left foot. Her hazel eyes narrowed as she studied the tip of the toe and sighed. The sole was starting to come loose.  
  
  
She remembered when she found the boots at Goodwill. It was an incredible score. They were brand new. Someone must have purchased the wrong size and decided to do their good deed for the year and just donate them. To someone who lived a life of barely getting by like she did, finding a pair of new boots like that was amazing luck.  
  
  
They had lasted her three seasons now but clearly they wouldn’t last her a fourth. She scowled and cursed her bad luck because the weather was starting to turn. She regarded the falling leaves and pulled her over-sized cargo jacket that was worse for wear a little closer to ward off the crisp October breeze with an over-dramatic sigh.  
  
  
Rey had always been poor but she’d never been someone to feel sorry for herself. It was just the way it was. The world was what it was. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The Haves and the Have Nots. Those who have, have it easier and those who don’t have to work three times harder to get anywhere in life and so Rey decided a long time ago she would work three times harder and make something of her life despite the hand that life dealt her and she wouldn’t feel sorry for herself.  
  
  
But today, dammit, today she felt sorry for herself. She sat on the bench and watched other students walk by in their fashionable warm boots and she felt it digging at her gut: envy. It was an ugly emotion. She thought of the girls in her classes who breezed in and out without a care in the world with their fashionable clothes and their fancy purses and expensive jewelry. How they preened.  
  
  
Oh and then there was the king of preening himself. She couldn’t stand him. Ben Solo. He made her jaw clench just thinking of him. Of _course_ her thoughts would turn to him. It _always_ came back to him. That stuffy, withdrawn, overdressed, stuck-up, know-it-all, condescending jerk.  
  
  
Why the gods had cursed her and stuck her with him as her tutor for her Literature class she could not understand, but it was what it was. Like everything. It wasn’t bad enough that she had to deal with him as the TA for the class but now her professor had assigned him to help her bring up her grade; if she wanted to keep her scholarship she had to do what she had to do.  
  
  
Speaking of which, she looked at her phone and realized it was time for them to meet. Fuck. She scooped up her backpack and tossed it over her shoulder as she shuffled down the sidewalk heading for the café where they had agreed to meet to work on her assignment.  
  
  
She begrudgingly pushed in the door of the café hearing the bell jingle as she did and looked around to see if she saw him sitting anywhere yet and sighed in relief realizing he wasn’t there. She honestly wasn’t ready to deal with him. She never was. She walked up to the counter and smiled, seeing Rose there smiling back at her. Rose was someone she had met through her best friend Finn. Rose had become much more than just a friend of a friend but a real friend in deed, as the saying goes.  
  
  
“Hey there, I didn’t realize you were working today,” Rey said with a warm smile, reaching over the counter to give her a quick hug.  
  
  
“Yeah I took an extra shift,” Rose replied. “What are you doing here?” she asked as she rung up Rey’s usual cappuccino order.  
  
  
“I’m meeting ‘him’ to work on my project,” Rey replied with a groan. “Remember he’s tutoring me.”  
  
  
“Oh man I’m sorry. I know he’s a dick but you gotta do what you gotta do.”  
  
  
“Yeah I know, but it still sucks.” She shrugged.  
  
  
“Well at least he’s nice to look at,” Rose smirked.  
  
  
“You think so?” Rey paused to think about it. “Yeah I guess you’re right, I suppose. But I can’t get over the smug look on his face all the time, but maybe you’re right.” Rey was just finishing that sentence as Ben walked in the door.  
  
  
She turned her head to watch him enter. He pulled off his prescription sunglasses and switched to his regular and as she studied him closely. Tall, broad shouldered, muscled, dressed impeccably—as always—expensive sport coat, cashmere scarf, dress shirt, dark wash jeans, Italian leather belt and shoes… everything about him screamed child of privilege. Being the son of an heiress, who also happened to be the dean of the university, and his father who was the founder of an aeronautics company, had its privileges after all.  
  
  
His face was long and angular with pale skin and dotted with beauty marks and a few moles, his lips full and lush and his eyes were expressive, the color of good whiskey. And how could she forget how his hair was dark, thick, and lustrous? Yeah, she supposed he was good looking but being a stuck-up, know-it-all pretty much cancelled all that out. She suddenly realized she was seriously staring at him as Rose called to her.  
  
  
“Rey, Rey, Earth to Rey,” she said, handing her her cappuccino.  
  
  
“Oh, uh sorry.” Maybe he was pretty distracting. She took her drink and then nodded her head to Ben.  
  
  
“Hey,” she said to him.  
  
  
“Hello, Rey,” he replied casually. 

  
Ben had been nervous about meeting with her all day. She made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Every time he looked at her in class she seemed to be day dreaming or half-asleep but he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of her. She was so beautiful. Her lovely heart-shaped face with those expressive hazel eyes and her light brown hair always up in that signature three bun style. And when she smiled, which sadly was a rarity in class, all he wanted to do was just bask in the warmth of it. Her incredibly sexy British accent sent chills down his spine.  
  
  
She carried herself with such strength and it was like she had an internal light about her. He looked into her story even though he knew he shouldn’t have. Scholarship student from England. Engineering major. He wasn’t able to get much more information about her background, her parents, anything like that.  
  
  
Rey was a mystery to him but he was desperate to know more. As a TA he shouldn’t really get involved with students that were in his class. It wasn’t necessarily forbidden by university rules but it didn’t really look good, either. Tutoring her was likely a mistake, given how he felt about her, but Professor Holdo had asked and he couldn’t seem to say no. He also couldn’t understand why she seemed to hate him so much.  
  
  
“I’ll just get us a table,” she said, and walked away from him to get a larger table at the back of the café. She tossed her weathered bookbag down on the table and flopped down in the chair and yanked her things out with a sigh.  
  
  
Ben nodded and walked over to the counter and ordered his black coffee from Rose, glancing over at Rey a bit as he did. After he received it he walked over to the table and set down it and his buttery soft leather satchel. She couldn’t help but notice how nice it was, especially compared to her beat-to-shit backpack. She sighed again.  
  
  
“Well let’s get down to work, shall we?” he said in a serious tone trying to keep his hands from trembling.  
  
  
“Alright.” She said as he took out his books. She glanced up at him while he was getting his things out. Rose was right. He was nice to look at even if he was a jerk. Honestly, he was gorgeous in a very unconventional way. What she couldn’t keep her eyes off of were his lips. They were so wide and full and pillowy, she couldn’t help but wonder what they would feel like on hers, or on other parts of her body, moving over her skin, tasting her and …  
  
  
“Rey?” he cleared his throat. “Have you read the poems and stories and gone over the notes I gave you from last time?” he asked, his tone, as always, so aloof and condescending.  
  
  
She jumped. “Oh. Um yes. I did. But I just didn’t quite understand what your point was in that last note,” she said in a frustrated tone.  
  
  
“My point was there are several interpretations of the story and I wanted you to form your own opinion and not just go with what others say, that’s why it will be your paper and not someone else’s. So what do you think about the story based on what you’ve read?” Again, his tone was superior and condescending.  
  
  
“Why do you have to talk down to me? I’m not stupid you know,” she said angrily.  
  
  
“I don’t think you’re stupid Rey, I just think you don’t pay attention to things you don’t like. Literature being one of them. I think you hold it in contempt, so you blow it off and that’s why you need a tutor,” he replied tartly, more tartly than he needed to. He found he was hard on her because in doing so he kept any real, soft emotion he had for her out of his voice. God she was beautiful when she was angry.  
  
  
“That’s not true!” she barked out. But inside, she thought he might be right.  
  
  
“Isn’t it? We both know you barely pay attention in class. Half the time you’re falling asleep, and you don’t listen to my or Professor Holdo’s lectures when you are awake. Now you’re resentful of me trying to help you when you should be grateful to get any help at all.” He slipped his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
  
  
“Well I just, I’m more focused on my core classes for my engineering degree, like modern physics for example, and this class is just something I have to take to fill a slot in my curriculum. It’s … boring.” She sighed but she knew he was right. She was probably rude to disregard their class. She just didn’t find any interest in the class. At all.  
  
  
“Boring is it? So you think the idea of a the God of the Underworld kidnapping the Goddess of Spring and sweeping her down to his kingdom because he was so madly in love with her, despite the fact that her mother, the Goddess of the Harvest and the Cycle of Life would turn the Earth barren in retribution, is boring?” He arched a brow at her.  
  
  
She blinked as she considered his question seriously. “Well. I mean. It’s not boring but what he did, it’s honestly gross. Taking someone against their will and forcing them to live with you because you claim to love them is pretty inappropriate. Tricking them into staying with you by getting them to eat some fruit?” She rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“You’re right, that is absolutely inappropriate. Taking someone’s agency away, kidnapping them, forcing them to love you; If you can even call it that. Definitely not acceptable, but sadly mythology is filled with things like that. Alright. So you did read one of the interpretations of the myth. What about the others? The ones that say Persephone went willingly to the Underworld or that she found her way there herself. That she was happy and embraced the power of being Queen. That she loved Hades. What do you think about those?” His eyes held hers, boring into them, lingering longer than they should.  
  
  
“Well they sound… interesting.” She was watching him, staring into his eyes; why did she suddenly feel so flushed? “The idea of power, devotion, passion and love? It’s moving, exciting and arousing.” Arousing? Why did she say that?. Jesus. What the hell Rey? Where did that come from?  
  
  
“Yes. It is.” he cleared his throat as he felt the tips of his ears go red and he looked away from her.  
  
  
He looked down at the floor and he focused his eyes on her boots to get his mind off the word arousing before his mind ran to other thoughts. He couldn’t help but notice how worn they were. Was her sole coming apart? Could she not get new boots? He raised his eyes back to her and continued,  
  
  
“So my point to you in my notes is that there are several ways to interpret different writings. Literature and poetry are often—if not always—open to different interpretations,” he said, his voice strangely gentle.  
  
  
She nodded then. “I guess I see your point, how this isn’t necessarily completely boring. I’m sorry for being rude in class. This story, mythology in general, I suppose I can see how it could be interesting and I might actually like it if I gave it a chance.” She stared into his face and swallowed, her eyes going to his lips again.  
  
  
“Do you think we could talk more about it, mythology I mean, for my extra credit work for the class?” She watched him closely, feeling her heart beat a little faster for some reason. He didn’t seem like such an asshole right now, but that didn't mean he really wasn't. Her gaze went to his eyes anyway. How had she never noticed how long his eyelashes were before?  
  
  
His mouth actually quirked into a small grin and he gave her a gentle nod of his head “Of course.” He couldn’t help but nearly lose himself in her eyes.  
  
  
“Why don’t you write your paper on this first, writing your opinion on the story and let me see it next time we meet. Say, Thursday at noon? Here again? Then perhaps your next assignment can be the story of Eros and Psyche. I think you would like that one.” He smiled at her and felt his heart constrict with how much he wanted her.  
  
  
As he watched her walk out of the café with a small wave, he couldn't believe how well this went. How well they got along. Normally she would be stomping off in fury but today, everything was different. This was likely a mistake, allowing himself to get close to her, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

=================

Ben lay in his upscale townhouse, stretched out on his leather sofa with his mythology book laying on his abdomen, arm bent behind his head, staring up at the exposed beams of the ceiling, and yet all he could think about was how beautiful Rey's eyes had looked in the café two days ago. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since. He was utterly obsessed and losing his mind.  
  
  
If he didn’t get his shit together he was going to lose it. He was on track to possibly be in line for a professor position when he completed his doctorate. Sure, people might talk that it was partly because of his mother’s influence, but he knew that he’d damn well earned it. He’d busted his ass all of his life on his education. He wasn’t going to fuck it up now … except maybe he was.  
  
  
He couldn’t get Rey’s hazel eyes out of his head. He was distracted constantly. Now, it was the scent of her perfume infused in his scarf that was killing him. She had put her jacket over his scarf at the café and her perfume now lingered on it. It was driving him to distraction. Jesus Christ, help him.  
  
  
Ben jumped up from the sofa, tossed the book down, and paced around his townhouse like a caged animal, tugging at his hair. This wasn’t him. He didn’t get like this with women. He was focused on his studies, on his goals in life. He didn’t get distracted, but ever since he’d seen her in that Lit class on the very first day he’d been lost.  
  
  
It was as if some inexplicable force had pulled him to her. Like she was the answer to everything that was wrong inside him. All the dark places that never felt right, somehow the light he saw in her would fix them.  
  
  
Fuck.  
  
  
He needed to get out of there. He grabbed his jacket and his keys, stalking out of his apartment. Ben jogged down the stairs and out of the building and walked down the cobblestone streets feeling the cool October breeze against his face and breathed in deeply over and over, trying to calm himself down. He pulled out his phone and texted.  
  
From: Ben  
To: Hux  
  
I’m going to McGee’s – Meet for a drink?  
  
From: Hux  
To: Ben  
  
What’s wrong Solo?  
  
From: Ben  
To: Hux  
  
Why does anything have to be wrong?  
  
From: Hux  
To: Ben  
  
Because you’re a fucking hermit, something has to be wrong.  
  
To: Hux  
From: Ben  
  
Fine. I need to talk.  
  
From: Hux  
To: Ben  
  
Alright. Be there in 20.  
  
  
Armitage Hux was one of Ben’s oldest friends. They went to prep school together, then undergrad, then to get their masters and now they were both working on their doctorates. Somehow, they were always in each other’s orbit. Half the time they couldn’t stand each other, but honestly, they couldn’t stand most other people either, so they ended up being the only ones they could talk to most of the time. That’s the thing about knowing someone for most of your life. It had its advantages. They knew your quirks and your shit and they put up with you despite it all.  
  
  
McGee’s was your typical old-school New England Irish pub, finely polished wood with brass workings, nice bar stools, booths, and tables. It had good pub food, plenty of beer on tap, and high quality liquor and on the weekends good live music. It was a very popular bar located in one of the nicer neighborhoods surrounding Jakku University. Ben was seated at the end of the bar nursing an excellent Irish whiskey when Hux walked in pulling off his pea coat and putting it on the hook on the wall, looking at Ben.  
  
  
“You look like shit, what the hell is wrong with you Solo? Are you not sleeping?” he asked with disdain.  
  
  
“I am just … not well,” he sighed. 

  


Hux slipped onto the stool next to Ben, turned, stared at him and narrowed his pale blue eyes. He ran a hand through his ginger hair.  
  
  
“Please, for fuck’s sake tell me it’s not still that British girl,” Hux grumbled  
  
  
“Yes,” Ben admitted.  
  
  
“I told you to just go out and get laid; get it out of your system,” Hux ground out.  
  
  
“And I told you that’s not how I work,” he growled at him.  
  
  
“You are so fucked up Solo,” he replied. “Guinness,” he ordered from the bartender. “What, do you think you’re in love with this chit or something? You’ve barely even really talked to her on any personal level for fuck’s sake.”  
  
  
“I know, I know, but I can’t get her out of my head and now that I’m tutoring her it’s worse. My scarf smells like her and I can’t even sit in my own living room without getting a hard-on from it,” he whined.  
  
  
Hux rolled his eyes “Well then do what men do, beat off for Christ’s sake.”  
  
  
Ben sighed “Yeah, I should, I will, I just needed to get out of the house. Listen, it’s just I really want to get to know her. I ‘like’ her Hux.”  
  
  
“Oh for Christ’s sake Solo, then go after her, there’s nothing in the rules that says you can’t see her considering you’re the TA and not handling her grading. You’re not Holdo, so what are you so afraid of?” He sipped his beer. 

  


“I don’t know. I just don’t want to do anything to mess anything up for her. She’s special. I can tell. Also, I just don’t want to fuck this up. Things don’t tend to go right in people’s personal lives from my experience. Look at how my parents ended up.“ He stared down into his whiskey. “Plus she seems to kind of … not like me that much and I can’t figure out why.”  
  
  
“You are _not_ your parents and you won’t know where she really stands if you don’t try. Being a whiny asshole is really annoying so buck up or shut up.” He took another sip of his beer. He paused then. “I mean even pricks like you deserve to be happy.”  
  
  
Ben gaped and turned to looked at him with an incredulous look on his face. “Who are you and what have you done with Hux?”  
  
  
“Fuck you.” Hux said and they both burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thank you to @perrydowning who is my beta in this story without whom I wouldn't be able to do any of this. I have major anxiety disorder so putting myself out there by writing can be very triggering so her support means the world to me.
> 
> My goal is to update every Friday. 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free come say Hi.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben have their next study session and things go in an unexpected direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an early update for you all. I hope you like it.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/31249234378/in/dateposted-public/)

Rey sat and stared at her paper, reading it over again and again. She was surprised by her take on the Hades and Persephone myth. She found herself drawn to the idea of Persephone choosing to go to the Underworld willingly, being crowned as Queen. She found she liked the idea of having that power, having that kind of devotion and love, someone willing to lay all that at her feet, someone being that passionate about her. 

 

In her life she never had anyone willing to do anything for her. Give anything for her. Growing up she had nothing and no one; only herself. Now she had friends and she was so thankful for them. She knew Finn, Rose and Poe would do almost anything for her, but romantically, her life was barren. 

 

Her thoughts turned to Ben. She really wanted him to like this paper. She wanted to impress him. She couldn't figure out why. She normally couldn't stand him but since their last tutoring session, she had found herself thinking of him more. She realized maybe he wasn't such a jerk. Yes, he was rich, privileged, stuck-up and could be pretty withdrawn in class sometimes. That was pretty hard to take, but perhaps there was more to him. 

 

She realized that maybe she had been being too hard on him, judging him more negatively because of the fine clothes he wore and the fact he was the dean’s son. Sure, he was still a bit of a condescending know-it-all, but he seemed to lighten up a lot after their last tutoring session. He was also really easy on the eyes. Maybe they could meet in the middle. 

 

Her phone buzzed on the side of her desk. 

 

From Finn  
To Rey

 

Hey Peanut How’s your Paper coming? You pulling your hair out? 

 

To Finn  
From Rey

 

Great! I’m done and I’m ready to meet my doom.

 

From Finn  
To Rey

 

You’re meeting with him today right? You said it didn't go that bad last time. 

 

To Finn  
From Rey 

 

I am and It didn’t but if this paper sucks he may go back to being an asshole. I do not need that. 

 

To Rey  
From Finn

 

I know. No one wants that. Let’s hope that doesn't happen. I’m sure your paper rocks. Good luck Peanut. I’ll see you after for debrief. 

 

To Finn  
From Rey

 

You got it. 

 

Rey put her paper in her folder, took a deep breath, and packed up her back pack. She walked over and sat down to put on her worn out boots. She stared at the toe of her boot that was coming apart and felt a little embarrassed. She hoped he wouldn't notice. He was always so well put together with his expensive clothes. He was always so handsome. 

 

She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Simple t-shirt, hoodie, jeans. Just the basics. Nothing special. She sighed, pulled on her old cargo jacket and shook her head. Fuck it. She never felt embarrassed for what she looked like before and she wasn't going to let herself start now, goddammit. 

 

She slung her bag over her shoulder, headed out of her doom room, and walked across campus to the café to meet with Ben; for some reason her heart was beating just a little faster than it should be. 

 

Was she nervous about her paper or was it because she was going to be looking into those whiskey colored eyes with their impossibly long lashes so close up again? She wasn’t sure. 

  


================

  


When she got to the café she looked around and noticed that Ben was already there at the back table with his books and notes. She was ready to go to the counter to get herself her drink, but she noticed that there was a coffee sitting in front of her usual seat. She walked over, set down her book bag, and smiled to him. 

 

“Hey there,” she said with a smile “Is this for me?” she asked, almost shyly, as she pointed to the drink.

 

“Yes. I asked Rose what you usually ordered and figured I’d get it for you. I mean, just so we could get started quickly,” he said awkwardly as he met her eyes and then looked away. His heart had already started pounding just looking at her; she was absolutely stunning. Her cheeks were pink from the cold fall air and her hair had some wisps blown loose from the wind around her lovely face. Be casual Ben. Be cool. 

 

“Oh,” she replied feeling her heart sink a bit for some reason. Then she slipped into the chair, taking off her coat, tossing it on the spare chair as she eased into her seat. She took a sip of her drink and then took a deep breath.

 

She pulled out her paper and handed it over to him nervously.

 

“So, I read the rough draft you emailed me and thought it was very interesting; I’m eager to see how you improved on it,” he said as he looked over her paper curiously and sat back with his coffee, sipping it as he looked over her paper, letting out soft hrrmms and mmmm sounds as he read it. 

 

She watched him intently, nibbling on her lower lip as she did, staring at his face, studying his expressions, finding him incredibly fascinating as he focused so hard on her work. Her eyes went to his lips again, finding her mind wandering a little bit as she lingered on them, looking up at his brows furrowed in concentration, his dark hair brushing over his eyes. She couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to brush her fingers through that thick hair. Would it be soft? 

 

He pursed his lips a moment and nodded and let out another mmmm sound and then set down the paper. Then he took another sip of his coffee and set it down as well.

 

“Well, this is really interesting work Rey. I like your take on things. Your perspective on Persephone in the myth and her taking her fate into her own hands is fascinating. You know a lot of people would disagree with you and say that the original tale doesn't read that way at all. You’d get a lot of push back from people. What makes you interpret it like this?” He watched her curiously.

 

She paused as she considered and swallowed. “I guess I just thought the interpretation of Persephone finding her way into the underworld herself and finding it a place of curiosity and interest made sense to me. Why can’t we accept the idea that she could do that? That she could find a place that is different to her norm mysterious and interesting? Why is it so hard to believe that she might be drawn to someone who comes from a different life, that she would find someone fascinating who offers her something more? Something greater? Why can’t we believe that she would desire someone who wants her so passionately that he’d give anything for her? Someone who will give her power and see her as an equal. I just find that idea very compelling.” 

 

Ben found himself absolutely riveted as he watched her when she spoke, she was so passionate, her words so filled with emotion. “Do you believe that? I mean really? That people from two totally different walks of life can be compatible?” 

 

Rey paused then as if she was pulled back from the story and looked at him as if seeing him for the first time and furrowed her brow. What did that question have to do with mythology? She considered his question for a long moment. Did she believe that? In reality? Could something like that work? People from two totally different walks of life working out? Probably not. Likely not. Maybe? 

 

She realized he was staring at her intently. She met his gaze.

 

“Oh, I don’t know. I think that’s a really hard question. I mean there’s mythology and then there’s reality. In reality I don’t think so, I mean maybe? I think that really depends on the people and the situation.” Her eyes studied him carefully, her cheeks heating. 

 

Ben nodded. “I guess that is the same for any two people who want to get to know each other, doesn't it? It depends on the situation? To see if they’d be compatible?” His heart was beating in his chest a mile a minute. What was he doing? How did this conversation get from mythology to relationships and compatibility? What the fuck was he doing? 

 

Ben continued “Well Hades and Persephone were from two completely different worlds, and yet they managed to, by your account, find happiness together. I just imagine that other people who are different can do that too.” He tried to turn the conversation back to their studies, trying to grab control of the train that was about to run away from them but he was clearly failing. 

 

“Yes. Yes that’s right,” Rey said gently. “Hades and Persephone did find happiness together. She was a strong Queen to his King.” 

 

Ben cleared his throat. “Your interpretation is a very powerful and bold one and I think that Professor Holdo will be very impressed with your take on it. I’m really proud of your work on this, Rey. Seriously. I knew you could do amazing work if you only put your mind to it. You’re an incredibly intelligent person. Now, if you stay awake in class, just imagine how much better your grade can get,” he chuckled gently.

 

She smiled widely feeling herself bloom under his praise, her eyes lit up and she felt her heart flutter in her chest. How could she have been so wrong about him? Apparently he really wasn’t an asshole at all. All of the sudden she felt herself feel a bit of panic. He wasn't going to stop tutoring her was he? No. He said they’d still work together.

 

“I’m really grateful for your help,” she said and then paused. “So we’ll still work together right? You mentioned that we’re going to read another myth? Eros and Psyche you said?” 

 

He nodded to her. “Yes, that is another good one. Some twists and turns in it that I think will surprise you.” he sat back and reached for his coffee and sipped it and let out a small sigh. 

 

“Are you feeling a little better about things, about your ability to bring up your grade in the class now?” he asked curiously.

 

Rey nodded. “Yes. I really am. I was really worried when Professor Holdo told me my grade was so low and that my scholarship might be in danger. Then when she told me I could get extra credit but that you were going to tutor me, I was definitely not happy,” she paused and looked stricken that she had said that. “Oh shit, I’m sorry.” 

 

He chuckled, “It’s okay. I know I’m not your favorite person. You have always been clear about your disdain for me; though I’ve never been able to figure out why.” 

 

Rey sighed. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. It’s just, you don’t come off as the most likeable person Ben, you are pretty condescending in class and well, you seem like a real stuck-up asshole sometimes.” She cringed.

 

His brows raised and he looked at her and he set his coffee down. “Oh. Well,” he sighed. “Don’t hold back.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” she said in a soft tone. “It’s just you’re so condescending and you’re so withdrawn and aloof.” 

 

“I don’t mean to come off that way. I guess I sometimes can be condescending and for that I’m sorry. It’s a bad habit. As for the stuck-up part, I think people mistake me being stuck-up for the fact that I’m actually a pretty shy and really private person.” He shrugged. 

 

She blinked. That had never, ever, occurred to her. His seeming above it all, removed from everyone, the rich guy constantly setting himself apart from everyone, seeming so aloof and distant, but now she could see it, it wasn’t him being stuck-up, it was him being shy. Fuck. She had totally misjudged him as being a stuck-up rich dean’s son when he was just a shy guy. 

 

“I’m sorry Ben. I guess I misjudged you,” she said softly. “But you still can work on the condescending part,” she chuckled.

 

He smiled a small smile and chuckled and felt his heart flip in his chest. Jesus she was perfect. “Yes I can work on that part and it’s okay. We can start over. Hi. I’m Ben Solo and I’m not a stuck-up asshole,” he held out his hand out to her to shake.

 

Rey looked at his hand, it was so large and well-manicured, her mind took a trip imagining that hand on her body and her head spun. Get it together, Rey. She set her smaller hand in his.

 

“Hi, I’m Rey, and I’m not a judgmental bitch. At least not all the time.” 

 

They both laughed their eyes meeting. They shook hands and he felt like this powerful force was connecting them. Something bigger than both of them. He just couldn’t ignore it anymore.

 

As they packed up their things and Rey headed out, Ben couldn’t help but notice that Rey’s coat was threadbare and he furrowed his brow. It was getting cold out there and that thing wasn’t going to keep her warm as the weather got colder. He wanted to do something to help her but what? 

  


=========

  


Rey and Finn were sitting on the sofa in his ramshackle apartment in a not so great part of town off campus that he shared with Poe and Rose. They couldn’t afford much, but what they had was theirs and they were happy with it. No matter how many times he asked, he couldn’t convince Rey to move in with them. She insisted she was content in her single room in the dorm. 

 

Her full ride scholarship covered tuition, room and board, and her working at the campus library gave her measly spending money. So she got by, and besides, she spent most of her free time at the apartment anyway, so it didn’t really matter to her. 

 

Rey met Finn the first week of her freshman year at Jakku. He sat next to her in her Intro to Psych class and seemed as lost as she was. When they walked out of the class, he had turned to her with the most pathetic look on his face and asked her to take pity on him and help him with his homework. Even though she had resigned herself to really not get close to anyone, his sad brown eyes really got to her and she had such a good feeling about him that she couldn’t help herself. They spent all evening in the library that night and that, as they say, was history. They became inseparable after that. 

 

He became the first person she ever opened up to about her real past, actually sharing her true feelings with him. She told him it all. Every ugly detail. He was the first person she ever really trusted. She still remembered how he looked at her that first time. When she told him about how her parents had abandoned her and how Plutt had abused her in her group home. How she survived it all and got out. 

 

He was so shocked at what she’d been through but there wasn’t an ounce of pity in his eyes. He looked at her like she was some kind of super woman. Like she was the strongest person he’d ever met. She would always love him for that. 

 

He was the one who introduced her to Rose and convinced her to give her a chance. Rey wasn’t big on friends, so letting another person into their circle wasn’t easy. But Rose was so warm and bubbly and her easy going personality was so infectious that it was hard to not let Finn convince her to trust her. She trusted her with some things but not all. Never everything. 

 

But it was when Finn met Poe that things almost fell apart. He fell in love with Poe and it nearly broke her heart. She felt like she lost a part of herself. She struggled with being jealous. She had to learn to really share Finn with someone else. Learning to share the love of her best friend, the first person she ever truly trusted, with someone else was the hardest thing she ever did, but she realized if she really loved Finn his happiness should come first. She came to care about Poe strongly, in her own way. Now they were all a unit. They were happy. 

 

“So we went over the myth of Hades and Persephone and we really got to talking about it and it was really cool,” she said with a smile.

 

“So spending time with Ben Solo was really cool?” Finn turned his head to stare at her like she was speaking a foreign language. 

 

“Yeah it actually was, he really helped me understand things, to look at it in a different way.” She shrugged.

 

“You sound like you really enjoyed it.” He gave her a strange look. “That’s pretty weird Peanut.” 

 

“I actually did, it was pretty nice,” she said softly.

 

‘Wait! Wait! Nice? This is ridiculous, nice?! Is this Rey Kenobi I’m talking too? I feel like you’ve been replaced by an alien or something,” he chuckled.

 

“Stop it Finn. It wasn't that bad honestly.” She shoved popcorn in her mouth and chewed.

 

“So you’re telling me that you’re actually ‘friends’ with Ben Solo now?” Finn asked incredulously.

 

“Yeah. I guess I am,” she mumbled with a mouth full of popcorn as she zoned out to Luke Cage on Netflix.

 

“But Peanut, it’s Ben Solo, Ben Solo, poor little rich guy with a stick up his ass, condescending jerk son of the dean, Ben Solo. You hate Ben Solo. What could have possibly happened to change your mind?” He shook his head

 

“He’s just not so bad that’s all. He’s not really stuck up. He’s just shy,” she said reluctantly

 

“SHY? He’s SHY!” he cried out “What are you talking about? What, are the two of you sharing secrets now?” 

 

“No, Finn!” she actually yelled. 

 

She set the popcorn down on the coffee table, stood up, walked into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge; she yanked out a coke, popped it open, and took a deep sip. She leaned against the counter and tilted her head to look up at the ceiling.

 

“It just came up; he asked why I hated him. I told him he was stuck-up and he said he was sorta hurt. Then he said he could see why he came off like that but he really wasn’t actually stuck-up, it was just that he was shy and private.” 

 

Finn stood up staring at her like she was a crazy person and shook his head. “I feel like I’m in an alternate universe. Half the time you came out of your Lit class telling me how he was always so pretentious.” 

 

“Whatever. He’s not so bad. Plus he’s really helping me with my grade and I am starting to like this class because of him,” she said in a huff.

 

“Alright, alright, no need to get huffy. If you say he’s okay, he’s okay. Still though, I mean, he’s a spoiled rich guy, there’s no denying that.” 

 

Rey frowned. “Yeah. I know.” She thought about her coming from nothing, being nothing and realized that she had absolutely zero in common with Ben, that there was no way they could ever really be something together. How could they be? She came from nothing and he came from everything. She shook her head. It was ridiculous to even think about.

 

“Let’s just watch the show okay?” she grumbled. 

 

“Okay Peanut.” He watched her closely, a concerned look on his face.

 

She walked back into the living room and picked up the popcorn and her coke, flopped back down on the sofa and stared at the TV. But her mind was a million miles away. A million miles away thinking about Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my amazing beta @perrydowning 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo bump into each other on campus and Ben rashly asks Rey to lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it seems like I'm getting in the habit of updating on Thursdays. We'll see if that keeps up. I hope you enjoy the chapter everyone. (also we earn our E rating here)
> 
> check out the amazing art work by [@laurabarcali ](https://laurabarcali.tumblr.com/) on tumblr in this chapter 
> 
>  
> 
> it's been a rough time with the passing of my mother last week. losing myself in fiction has been a big help. thankfully i had several chapters of this already written, going over them again has been wonderful. losing ourself in fiction is a beautiful thing.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/44402461814/in/dateposted-public/)

Ben rubbed his head and realized he had a headache coming on. He looked at the clock on the small desk in his tiny TA office in the English department and sighed. It was about lunch time. He realized he needed to get out, get some air, get away from this pile of papers on his desk, and get some food. 

 

He got up, gathered his things and left his office, his leather satchel wrapped across his body as he walked across campus, his eyes cast down to the sidewalk as he moved with purpose. He was so distracted that he almost didn’t see her when she crossed his path, but he couldn’t miss her signature three bun hairstyle. His eyes popped up and he saw her going down the path; he called out her name before he was able to stop himself. 

 

“Rey!” he all but yelled.

 

She turned and saw him and a warm smile spread across her beautiful face. “Hi!” she called out and crossed to head in his direction.

 

He felt warmth spread through his whole body as she smiled at him like that and felt light flood through him as she came nearer to him. She was so beautiful; even windblown and casual with not an ounce of make-up on her face, she was more beautiful than any woman he’d ever seen. 

 

“I didn’t expect to see you on this side of campus at this time of day,” she said. She was shocked to see him. He looked somewhat distracted but as always, so damn well put together and gorgeous, his dark hair tousled around his handsome face. 

 

“I’m normally in my office going over papers, but I really just needed to get some air. Where are you headed?” he asked curiously.

 

“Oh, I just finished my shift at the library and was headed back to my dorm.” She shuffled her foot. He looked down at it. It was that same boot, the one with the loose sole. He tore his eyes from it and raised his gaze to her beautiful hazel eyes.

 

“Do you want to go grab some food?” he blurted out before he could stop himself. Shit, this was a bad idea, this was likely a very bad idea. Okay but this wasn’t a date. It was just two people grabbing food. Right? Nothing serious. Nothing inappropriate. 

 

She just looked up at him for a minute and her mouth sort of fell open and then she smiled a lop-sided grin and nodded. “Yeah. I would.” 

 

“Great.” He turned and started walking with her. He couldn’t believe his luck running into her, that he had finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and that she actually said yes. But that was stupid. It likely wasn’t the right move. It probably didn’t look right. It technically wasn’t against the rules but … fuck it. Whatever. Shut up Solo. 

 

They walked for a while, the gold and orange leaves blowing around their feet as they did. “Where are we going?” she asked then.

 

“Oh, yeah. I suppose we should talk about that huh, rather than just wandering around aimlessly?” he chuckled. “Do you like Indian food?” he asked

 

“Actually, I love it.” She grinned.

 

“Awesome. I know this great place just a few blocks over.” They walked in companionable silence for a while.

 

“So, I didn’t know you worked at the campus library,” he said, feeling stupid.

 

“Well there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me Ben,” she answered with a smirk.

 

“Yeah I guess so,” he replied with a smile, feeling his heart clench as he glanced down at her. Christ, he wanted her. He wanted her so bad. He needed to get ahold of himself. Just calm down Ben. Get to know her. Take your time. Don’t rush things. Don’t be that guy. Be better than that. 

 

“So how long have you worked there then?” he asked realizing he wanted to know everything about her and wanted to know it all now. He wondered if he really was obsessed with her. All he knew is he felt this amazing force that pulled him to her, and he felt it growing stronger every day. 

 

“I’ve worked there since I got here in my freshman year. I needed to take a job to have some money, I’m on scholarship, so the only way I have any money at all is if I have a job. But I only really have time for a part time job with my heavy class load, so a campus job is perfect,” she said with a shrug. “I’m just lucky that I’ve been able to come back to the same job each semester now through my junior year. Most students don’t get that lucky.” 

 

It all made sense to him now, scholarship student, threadbare jacket, worn boots, campus job. She was likely barely getting by. He felt so out of touch. He was so damned privileged, he had so much and so many people had so little. Why had he never thought about that before until it just now smacked him in the face? He seemed to live in his own little bubble, focusing on his own problems until Rey walked into his life and made things more real to him. 

 

“I see,” he said. “Well I really admire that. Making your own way in the world. That takes a lot of strength, courage and intelligence. A lot of people could never do something like that.” 

 

They arrived at the restaurant and he pulled the door open for her. He wondered if he could have made it in the world like she had, without the help of his family money. Did he have the same kind of inner strength that she did? 

 

She looked at him with a smile and thought about what he said. “Thank you, Ben. I guess you’re right. A lot of people couldn’t. I need to remember that when I’m struggling.” 

 

She smiled up at him as he was looking down at her in wonder. She stepped inside, smelling the curry and turned away from him, trying to act casual “I love Indian food, the spices are so great,” she said as she looked up at him.

 

“I agree.” He walked with her to a table and sat down and pulled down two menus from the side of the table, handing her one.

 

“So, when did you get a taste for Indian food?” he asked.

 

“Back in London. When I got a few pounds I would get Indian take-away. It would be one of the few treats I could get ahold of,” she said casually. “Made me think of far-away places.” 

 

He listened curiously but didn’t respond, trying to process what she’d just said. One of the few treats she could get ahold of. Got a few pounds. He couldn’t help but wonder what kind of upbringing she’d had.

 

“Well I guess that makes a lot of sense. Food can do that. I’m a big fan of sushi, makes me think of Japan.” What he didn’t mention was that it makes him think of one of his several trips to Tokyo. 

 

The waiter came over and took their orders and he smiled at Rey, finding himself amazed that she was sitting across from him, that he was actually here, in a restaurant, with her, on a date. Was this a date? It felt like a date.

 

“So,” Rey said casually. 

 

“So,” he repeated. “What was it that make you come to Jakku University all the way from London?” 

 

“Oh. Well I wanted to get away from England and I got a few different offers from some schools but Jakku had the best engineering program so I jumped at it.” She smiled. 

 

“That’s really impressive Rey. You’re really impressive,” he said effusively. He realized he was gushing, it was ridiculous, he knew it, she probably knew it, but he couldn’t help himself. Jesus he was a fool.

 

She smiled at him and it finally dawned on her, he wasn’t just being nice, he actually ‘liked’ her. “Thanks Ben. That’s really sweet of you.” He liked her and maybe she liked him too. 

 

“What made you want to get away from England, if you don’t mind me asking?” he asked curiously. 

 

She sobered, he watched the smile slip away from her face and she looked down at her hands on the table and she shrugged. “I just didn’t have a very good start in life and I figured I could make a better one over here,” she said simply. Her mind slipped back to being abandoned by her parents, cold nights in the group home, a growling stomach, working far too hard and being treated like shit. No, she didn’t have a good start in life. 

 

“Oh. Jesus. I’m sorry Rey. I didn’t mean to … I shouldn’t have pried.” He sighed. You asshole, Ben. 

 

“No, it’s okay Ben, you didn’t know. Let’s talk about something better. Like what made you go into Literature?” she asked as she forced a smile on her face.

 

He knew she was forcing a smile and he hated himself for it. His heart broke for what had to have been the rough life she had had and he wanted to know all her secrets and all her broken places. He wanted to hold her and heal her and help her. 

 

“Literature, oh well because you can disappear into a million different worlds and never leave your room. That’s how I travelled as a kid. My parents were always gone and I was always left with the nanny. So I lost myself in literature and it stuck. It was something I fell in love with so I just stayed with what I was good at and here I am.” He shrugged and smiled weakly 

 

“Your parents were always gone?” she asked gently

 

“Yeah, my mom was always travelling for one work function or another and my father, his aeronautics business kept him either busy at the office or away at conferences. I’m sure with you pursuing engineering you know who my father is right?” he asked with a sigh.

 

She nodded. “Yeah, Han Solo. He’s pretty famous, he’s made major breakthroughs in the field. He’s hard not to know about.” 

 

“Right. He’s a real hero to a lot of people,” he said sardonically. 

 

“His discoveries made a difference in a lot of different ways Ben,” she said, almost defensively.

 

“Right. That’s what they tell me,” he replied, it was almost petulant. 

 

Their food arrived just then and silence fell over as they dug into their food. 

 

“I’m sorry if I sounded like I didn’t respect what my father has done. I know he’s an important man in his field. It’s just well, my father and I don’t exactly have the best relationship.” 

 

Rey just stared at him then and didn’t say anything as she ate, nodding. At least you have a father.

 

He watched her, it was clear she wanted to say something but she was holding back. There was something there but he didn’t push. 

 

“This food is amazing.” Rey said with a smile then breaking the tension. “I’m so glad you showed me this place; I can’t wait to show it to my friends.” 

 

He smiled and nodded. “I’m glad I could help.” 

 

“Well, thanks for the lunch Ben, but I really need to get back to my room so I can study.” She reached into her backpack and pulled out a worn wallet to pull out some cash.

 

“No. No don’t worry about it, I got this.” He waved her off.

 

“I can pay my way,” she said with a bit of a bite.

 

“Rey. I know you can. It’s okay. It’s my pleasure,” he said gently. “Please. Allow me.” His voice was soft, almost caressing as he gazed into her eyes. There was something there, something sensual as he regarded her and she realized in that moment, this was more than just food, this was a date.

 

“Oh. Alright,” she said softly and smiled at him. “Thank you, Ben.” 

 

“You’re welcome,” he replied.

 

“If you want, I could give you my number so it would be easier for us to coordinate our study sessions, you know, well … in case,” she said as her cheeks heated. 

 

He watched her and breathed in deeply and licked his lush lips. Holy fuck. Is this really happening? 

 

“Yes. Yes I would like that very much,” he said casually. Be casual, Ben, act casual.

 

They exchanged numbers and gathered their things as he left more than enough money for a generous tip on the table before he walked her out of the restaurant and back to campus. They were silent as they walked. 

 

They ended up back at the place they met on the sidewalk and he looked down at her; he felt his heart pound in his chest, there were people everywhere but he felt like they were the only two people on campus. He wanted to kiss those beautiful lips more than he had ever wanted to do anything in his life.

 

She looked up at him and couldn’t believe that she was feeling like she wanted to kiss Ben Solo. Life was a weird thing. 

 

A strong gust of wind blew and her unzipped coat flew up. He reached up to grasp it and pull it tighter around her; she smiled and the spell was broken. 

 

“Keep warm,” he said with a smile.

 

“I will,” she replied and turned and walked away to her dorm.

 

His eyes followed her as she walked away, following her far too long, his heart constricting in his chest with longing. He already knew he was likely hopelessly in love with her. He knew it was insane and it was ridiculous and it made no sense, but he didn’t care. All he knew was he had to have her in his life and he would do whatever it took to make her his. He wanted to sweep her in his arms and carry her away and take care of her. He knew he was a crazy romantic. He turned and headed back to his place, watched the leaves fall around him as he did. 

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/45313289202/in/dateposted-public/)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/30424120857/in/dateposted-public/)

========================

 

Ben walked to his car and drove back to his townhouse as if he was in a dream. He knew he should have gone back to his office, but he just couldn’t concentrate on anything but Rey. His time with Rey was more than he could have asked for. He couldn’t believe his luck that they happened to run in to each other. And then even more than that, she had agreed to go out on a date with him. He knew by the end that she had realized it was more than just two people grabbing food together, that it was an actual date. Her offering to give him her number like that, that actually meant something. He could see it in the way she was looking at him.

 

When they were standing there on the sidewalk on campus, she was gazing up at him with those amazing hazel eyes and he couldn’t stop gazing down at her lips. He was sure she was doing the same thing and he was equally sure he was going to pass out from the want of kissing her. 

 

He walked up the stairs of his townhouse and keyed in, tossing his keys into the leather holder on his side table. He pulled off his satchel and leather jacket, and toed off his shoes. Then he walked to the fridge pulling out a beer and popped it open, taking a deep sip, his mind still spinning with thoughts of her. He could still smell her scent lingering on him. It was intoxicating. 

 

He leaned back on his kitchen island and closed his eyes as he finished his beer in several more swallows as all he could do was see her face behind his eyes as he thought of her. He felt a stirring in his cock and a familiar tightening of his jeans. His desire for her seemed never ending.

 

He walked into his bedroom and pulled his sweater over his head and tossed it on his side chair. He yanked his belt off and tugged down his jeans and boxer briefs in one motion. He sat on the edge of his large king-sized bed and pulled off his socks and headed for his shower. He stared at the large square glass enclosure and reached in, flipping on the overhead rainfall shower head to let the heated water start to fall. He stepped in, letting the hot water fall over his body.

 

His mind began to wander, thoughts of Rey filling them. Imaginings. Seeing her face as they talked at lunch. The way her eyes would light up as they talked. His hands moved over his wide chest, soaping himself, over his arms, his muscled biceps and shoulders. He could see her smile, how wide it would get. It was as if the light of the world seemed to radiate around her when she smiled and it made him feel whole and horny at the same time. Is that normal? 

 

He soaped down his abdomen. He thought of how her simple t-shirt clung to her narrow frame and he could see how her bra shaped her perfect tits. He imagined how beautiful they must be. They’d be perfect, he could see them now. Pert and firm. He’d have her on her back, on his bed, naked, his mouth on them, sucking them. Her head thrown back, her hair loose. He’d never seen her hair loose. He knew she’d be gorgeous though. His hand was stroking his thick cock, long firm strokes, working himself, his body jerked, pressure building. Oh fuck. 

 

He imagined her perfect long legs stretched out on his bed, spread wide, his mouth on her beautiful wet pussy while his fingers stroked her in and out of her. She’d be so wet for him. So slick and perfect. She’d be panting, groaning, wanting him. 

 

He’d lap at her, devour her, give her so much pleasure. Slipping his fingers inside her, working her clit, watching her pleasure mount, making her cum over and over. Scream his name. His balls tightened. She’d be so ready for him. She’d beg for him. He’d climb over her, look down into those beautiful hazel eyes. Kiss her passionately, slide into her. Fucking her. She’d take him so deep and they’d fuck so hard. He stroked himself harder. Faster. Faster. Oh yes. Yes. It would be so good. They would be perfect together. His Rey. His Rey. Oh God he was going to cum. Yes. Fuck. His body jerked and his cum exploded all over the wall of his shower. 

 

“Rey!!” he cried out into the empty room. 

 

His eyes opened and he leaned against the wall, panting, trying to regain balance in his limbs as the water sluiced over his muscles and he sighed. Jesus he prayed he’d be able to do that with her someday. Maybe soon? But that was probably way too much to ask. 

 

================= 

 

Rey went back to her dorm room and pulled off her coat and tossed her backpack into the corner. She flopped down on her bed and lay there, her mind racing. Holy shit. She just went on a date with Ben Solo. The. Ben. Solo. Son of the Dean of the University Ben Solo. And it was nice. The food was good, the conversation was actually pretty okay. She didn’t even mind so much that they actually talked about her a bit and she hated talking about herself. 

 

Sure, he may have asked an invasive question or two but she guessed that’s what happens on dates. Not that she’d know because she really didn’t go on them. She’s not a terribly big fan of them. She’s never been the trusting sort. She didn’t really date. Sure she'd had sex but nothing really intimate and never really had close friends, that’s why it’s such a surprise to her how she was able to let Finn and Rose in and by default Poe. But yet here they were, the best of friends. Now this thing with Ben was happening and it was so weird. 

 

She stretched out on her bed and thought more about her date with Ben. She was pretty sure she liked him. He’d seems to actually be a nice guy. She was convinced she wanted to get to know him better and was definitely convinced she wanted to kiss him, likely more. 

 

Thinking back to that moment on campus when they were just standing there looking into each other’s eyes like that. It was magnetic. She felt that all the way to her core. Yeah, she was turned on. She’d admit it. She’s only human. 

 

As she lay there in her bed she kept thinking about his face and his body; the way he wore his clothes and just how broad his body was. She realized just how fucking sexy he was. He was just so … big. She wondered if he was that big everywhere. She let her mind wander and started imagining if he had talent with the areas of his body that might be big everywhere. Those big hands, that big cock. 

 

She groaned as she covered her face with her hands. “Rey Kenobi, you’re a pervert.” She chuckled and the smile on her face was a mile wide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my amazing beta @perrydowning
> 
> If you want to reblog the artwork above in tumblr the post can be found at 
> 
> http://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/post/179090995826/i-had-this-amazing-artwork-commissioned-by-the#notes
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben meet for their next study session and things take an interesting turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Lovelies! Here's our new chapter. It's longer than usual. Most chapters from now on will be. I hope that's okay.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/44402461734/in/dateposted-public/)

Gwen Phasma stalked down the halls of the English department and came to rest outside the tiny TA office that Ben Solo occupied. She leaned against the door frame and watched him as he focused on the pile of papers in front of him. He nearly dwarfed the small desk he sat behind. She shook her head. He was made for much greater things than this. 

  


Gwen Phasma was without a doubt one of the most imposing figures on the Jakku University campus and she liked it that way. She was taller than most of the men and more beautiful than most of the women. She carried herself like a supermodel but had the intensity that made even the most combative professors tend to look away when they were in her crossfire. Working for Dean Leia Organa was a pleasure and a privilege. She began working for her as her personal assistant many years ago when Ben was in undergrad. Even though she had known the Organa family socially for years, coming to work for Leia at Jakku University was like a personal mission for her. She was the gatekeeper. 

 

She knocked on the door then and smiled. “I ran into Hux on campus a week or two ago,” she said to Ben, leaning into on the door frame. “He said you were not feeling quite yourself?” 

 

Ben’s head popped up. “Gwen, hello. Please, come in.” He smiled a genuine smile to her. “I hope you didn’t walk all the way across campus just to do a welfare check. You could have just called.” He chuckled gently.

 

She walked over and folded her long elegant body into the tiny chair across from the desk. She barely fit. She crossed her legs and looked over to him. 

 

“You don’t look like someone who is feeling uneasy, in fact you look quite, chipper,” she said as she regarded him.

 

“Yes well I am feeling very good actually,” he said with a smile.

 

“Well, well, Ben I haven’t seen you this cheerful in, well I don’t know how long. This wouldn’t happen to have something to do with that brunette that you’ve been spotted around campus with lately would it? The one you’ve been tutoring?” She arched a narrow blonde brow.

 

He went very still then and gripping his pen tightly in his hand. “Why do you ask?” he said in a guarded tone.

 

“Well I just ask because, as I’ve done some checking, you’re a TA in her literature class and it wouldn’t exactly be seemly for you to be seen doing anything more than tutoring her would it, Ben? I had one of my little birdies tell me you were seen at Taste of Nawab having lunch with her earlier in the week.” She narrowed her eyes.

 

“What the fuck, Gwen? It was just lunch. And besides that. I’m just her TA. I’m not handling her grades. There is nothing wrong with me seeing her. What the fuck is this? This is none of your goddamned business.” He felt his anger rising, bubbling inside of him. 

 

“Temper, temper, Ben. I just don’t want to see you do anything to ruin the direction of your life. It’s not like you to get distracted. You’re usually so focused on your studies, on your work here at the university and I don’t want to see you let some nothing, nobody, scholarship student from the middle of nowhere distract you from all of that,” she said with distain.

 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he growled at her.

 

“Well she isn’t exactly the kind of girl that is suitable for you. For your family. She wouldn’t fit into the place that your family holds in this community Ben,” she said with a shrug of her elegant shoulders.

 

“That is such bullshit. You know I don’t care about any of that.” He glared at her. “This has nothing to do with her. This is my fucking life, Gwen. My life. I’m not going to have you interfere with it goddammit.” His voice had risen as he threw his pen down on his desk. 

 

“Well I’m just here to remind you not to do anything that is going to embarrass this university or your mother,” she said and sighed again.

 

“Did she send you?!” he asked with barely contained rage.

 

“Of course not Ben, you know she’d never do something like that. She loves you. She only wants to see you happy. Me, on the other hand. I only want to see her protected. That’s all I care about. I’m sick of seeing her fuck up of a son make mistakes that blow back on her. You’ve been doing really well these last few years and I don’t want you to blow it now. This doesn’t look good. You getting involved with an undergrad. Not to mention this nothing girl doesn’t fit with your life. She’ll only be an embarrassment.” 

 

“GET OUT!” he yelled as he jumped to his feet and his chair flew back when he did so. 

 

She slowly stood, shook her head, and sighed. “You can’t escape the truth that is you family, Benjamin.” She walked out, head held high, glanced over her shoulder, and shook her head making a tsking sound of disappointment.

 

Ben stood there, fuming, his breath coming in gusts, thrust his hand into his thick hair, and kicked the chair behind him. Fucking Gwen. What did she know? Rey wasn’t nothing. She was everything. It didn’t matter that they weren’t from the same walk of life. None of that mattered. Not to him. 

 

================== 

 

Nearly a week had passed since their ‘date’ and it was the night before their next study session. Rey spent a lot of time going over the myth of Eros and Psyche so they could discuss it at length when they got together. She realized there were different interpretations of the myth, so she had to work to narrow down the one she wanted to focus on; find her footing and feelings on it. 

 

She wanted to impress him, which continued to surprise her. Sure, she needed a good grade in this class and his help would definitely benefit her in that area, but the fact that she really wanted to impress him and get his approval, that was different for her. Normally she never wanted a man’s approval in anything. This was definitely weird. But, he really knew his stuff, and it had felt … nice when he praised her last time. 

 

Jesus that’s stupid. She was laying on her bed in a sweatshirt and flannel pj pants and was staring at the clock on her phone. It was 10:00 pm. Was it too late to text him? Would it be inappropriate? She was just checking to make sure they we’re still meeting right? 

 

To Ben  
From Rey

Hi. I hope it’s not too late.

 

Ben was laying in his bed in his boxer briefs and a t-shirt when his phone buzzed. Who would be texting at this time of night? He picked up his phone and almost had a fucking heart attack. Rey? Holy shit! His hands were shaking. Was she okay? Did something happen? 

 

To Rey  
From Ben

No. It’s not too late. Are you okay? Is everything alright?

 

Aww. She snuggled deeper into her comforter. That’s sweet. He’s worried about her. 

 

To Ben  
From Rey

Yeah, I’m good. Everything is fine. Just wanted to make sure we were still meeting tomorrow.

 

From Ben  
To Rey

Oh, Okay. Good, good. Yes, we’re still meeting. Definitely. 

 

He paused before sending the next line.

 

To Rey  
From Ben

I’m looking forward to it.

 

She smiled widely to herself and felt her heart flip flop.

 

To Ben  
From Rey

I’m looking forward to it too. I really enjoyed our lunch the other day. Thank you again.

 

She knew she was just using any excuse to drag out this conversation and it was probably ridiculously obvious but she found she really didn’t care right now as she was grinning ear to ear.

 

To Rey  
From Ben

I did too. More than I can say. And you’re very welcome. I hope we can do something like that again sometime. 

 

He hit the send button and grimaced and hoped it wasn't too pushy, did he just fuck everything completely up and make her totally uncomfortable and ruin everything. Fuck fuck fuck. He waited.

 

Rey sat looking at the text and smiled. 

 

To Ben  
From Rey

Yes. Definitely.

 

“YES!” Ben yelled out into his room. Like a loon. 

 

To Rey  
From Ben

We can talk about that more tomorrow then when we see each other. But Literature first, agreed? Can’t lose focus on your grade. I want you to ace this class, Rey.

 

To Ben  
From Rey

Yes, Sir, Mr. Solo.

 

Something inside Ben clenched and he felt his cock stir at the idea of Rey calling him Sir. Oh no, that was just wrong, wasn’t it? Maybe it wasn’t. He wasn’t going to think about that right now. 

 

To Rey  
From Ben

Go to sleep, Rey. I’ll see you tomorrow.

 

To Ben  
From Rey

Good night, Ben. Sweet dreams.

 

Rey grinned at her phone and let out a low sigh and tried to get her heart to stop fluttering in her chest and her smile to go back to normal. Oh shit, she was definitely falling for Ben Solo. 

 

To Rey  
From Ben

Sweet dreams, Rey.

 

Ben set his phone down, smiling widely, and closed his eyes. Rey Kenobi had just texted him, agreed to go out with him again, and was flirting with him. Life was good. Life was very, very good. 

 

=======================

 

Ben sat at the back table of the café, his books and notes already set out on the table and sipping his coffee. Every time the door opened and the bell rang he looked over his shoulder to see if it was Rey coming in. He’d already gotten her a cappuccino, just the way she liked it, and hoped it wouldn’t get cold. He likely got there too early. He was as eager as a kid on Christmas eve, waiting for her and knew he was acting like a fool but he hadn’t managed much sleep last night after she texted him. 

 

Instead, he had laid in bed thinking of her all night, wondering what she looked like laying in her bed. What she slept in, what she looked like with her hair down. How soft her hair was. What it would be like to run his fingers through it. He ended up fantasizing about her and jacking off twice and he still couldn’t get to sleep. Fuck he was pathetic. Now he couldn’t wait to see her. He needed to get a grip on himself because he wanted this study session to be good. He really wanted to help her do well in this class. That was ultimately the most important thing in all of this. 

 

The door opened and the bell chimed and he saw her come in and his face lit up with a smile. She looked around for him and smiled when she saw him as he raised his hand to her. 

 

“Hey, over here.” He called out. Holy shit. Her hair was down. At least half way. He’d never seen it like that. It was longer than he’d expected, and he could really see the color. As she got closer he could see it was a warm brown with honey highlights and his hands itched to touch it to find out how soft it was.

 

She walked over to him and smiled shyly at him as she dropped her bookbag on the table. She noticed him staring at her a little more closely than usual. She’d decided to wear her hair down today. She told herself it was because it was colder, out but she knew it was because she wanted to look pretty for him. Stupid. 

 

“Hi there,” she said as she gazed down at him, her eyes lingering on his face with a warm smile. Of course he looked amazing. As she had approached the table, she could see he was wearing a gorgeous cashmere sweater stretched over his fantastic pecks, these fabulous fitted dress pants that made his thighs look great as he sat back from the table, and his shoes were those expensive Italian leather. Fuck he always looked like he just stepped out of GQ and here she was in beaten up boots, battered jeans and a sweatshirt with an old cargo jacket. Naturally, his jacket was some fancy Italian leather bomber jacket.

 

“I got you your cappuccino, just like you like it.” He gestured to it. 

 

“Thanks, Ben. You didn’t have to do that but I appreciate it.” She flopped into the seat and then tugged off her threadbare jacket and slung it over the spare chair. She pulled out her books and notes from her bookbag as his eyes remained staring at her face and hair.

 

“Ben. You’re staring,” she said as she turned to look at him.

 

“Um oh yeah, I’m sorry, I mean, I’ve just never seen you with your hair down. It’s ... I mean, you look really nice. Lovely,” he stammered.

 

She blushed hotly and stared down at her hands on the table and bit on her lower lip. 

 

“Thanks,” she said softly and then tilted her head up as she looked at him. 

 

Oh my god, not only did he notice her hair but he was totally into it. He had told her she looked nice, not only nice but lovely. Even in her beat up clothes. Had anyone ever told her she was lovely? Not that she could recall. Maybe Finn told her she looked cute when she dressed up for the Christmas party last year but lovely? No, this was the first for her and she liked it. 

 

She just stared back at him and they held each other’s eyes for a long moment, his ears turning pink as his heart was pounding in his chest. 

 

“So. Eros and Psyche,” he said, finally breaking the spell. He was overwhelmed by the fact that she clearly didn’t mind that he had called her lovely, and she clearly was staring at him with the same intensity that he was staring at her. So what did that mean, exactly? It obviously wasn’t a bad thing. So did she like him? He should definitely ask her out again. She did text him last night so yes. Definitely. This was a good sign. 

 

“Yeah. Right. Eros and Psyche. What a story. Man. It’s definitely got some twists.” She laughed and smiled to herself.

 

“What were your thoughts on the story overall, Rey?” he asked curiously.

 

“Well, first there are several different interpretations of the story. I mean, I wasn’t sure which one to follow.” She shook her head. “But I settled on one. One that seemed to make the most sense to me. So I decided to focus on that one for my paper.” 

 

He nodded. “I told you there are lots of interpretations out there didn’t I?” He chuckled.

 

“You did. So anyway, what I have to say is this: first of all, right off the bat, I think Aphrodite is a serious bitch and can sometimes be majorly weak,” she snarked.

 

He barked out a laugh and nodded, then took a sip of his coffee while smiling. “You’ll find Aphrodite being ‘somewhat of a bitch’ can be quite a theme in mythology, but what do you mean weak?” he asked with genuine curiosity.

 

“Well, why was she so threatened by a mortal? She’s the goddess of love, beauty and fertility? She had worshipers galore, and this one mortal gets some attention, Aphrodite loses a few followers and suddenly she’s so threatened she has to go after her? I’m sorry, but that’s just weak.” She smirked and shook her head. “Totally insecure.” 

 

Ben chuckled some more. “You make a very good observation and I can’t say I disagree with a good portion of it.” 

 

“Also, I think she’s pretty manipulative. Like why use her son, why not just do her own dirty work? I get in the long run things worked out in the end and it’s good that Eros got involved, where the story is concerned, but why didn’t Aphrodite exact her own vengeance if she was so pissed off? Again. Weak.” She shrugged. 

 

Ben contemplated her words. “You don’t like it when people don’t take care of things themselves do you, Rey? When people, or gods as it were, don’t take care of their own business?” he asked curiously.

 

“No, I don’t. I mean, if you have a problem, I think it’s your job to handle your own shit. It’s your responsibility; I don’t think you should expect other people to go around doing things for you. You can’t always expect others to just take care of you because in the real world it doesn’t work that way.” She sipped her cappuccino. 

 

She knew only too well from her childhood and growing up that you couldn’t count on anyone; you had to take care of yourself and you had to handle your own shit. If you didn’t, they would think you were vulnerable and one thing you couldn’t be seen of in the system was vulnerable. 

 

He nodded his head. “That makes a lot of sense,” he responded, but didn’t push any further, knowing she likely had a lot more to say about it, but wanted to stay on topic of the myth. He didn’t want to dig too deeply into her story for now. 

 

“Okay, so what are your next thoughts on the story?” he asked, continuing on.

 

“Eros goes in with the intent of making Psyche fall in love with the ugliest man he can find, but he just can’t do it. He sees her and is moved by her sadness and her beauty and just falls in love with her himself. So she’s spared Aphrodite’s wrath. Good for Eros, but Psyche is still suck in her village.” She smiles.

 

Ben nodded “But then it gets weird, right?” 

 

“The whole thing is weird, Ben; all mythology is weird, let’s be honest here.” She shook her head. “So apparently no man can love her or some garbage, and her dad is not happy about this, so he consults an oracle and they have to send her up on some rocky hill. But then the Zephyr comes and carries her up to his amazing house, which by this time I’ve figured out has got to be where Eros is going to be waiting for her. So, yes, of course it is but he’s hiding his identity from her.” She shook her head.

 

“She’s in this lovely house, her lover comes to her at night, and it’s the best sex imaginable. Which is awesome for her, absolutely. She’s super happy, but her lover won’t show himself to her and she’s just supposed to trust him, not ask questions? Like what? What is that?” 

 

Ben simply nods.

 

“Time out, foul play.” She slapped her hand down on the table. “To me, this is where things go wrong, not the rest of the story. I’m sure everyone blames Psyche for everything, but to me this is where it all goes off the rails.” 

 

Ben arched his brow and looked at her with a surprised face. “Really? And why is that?” 

 

“Why couldn’t Eros just be honest with her and be like ‘Psyche I love you and I have brought you here to take care of you and be a lover to you and you will be happy here’? Why couldn’t he just trust her? Then all the rest of the mess in this story wouldn’t have happened.” She sighed and rolled her eyes.

 

Ben chuckled. “I don’t think it’s that simple, gods just couldn’t necessarily be known to mortals. Maybe Eros thought he was protecting her. Imagine if Aphrodite found out he was keeping Psyche there? Can you imagine her wrath and what she might have done to her? Also consider this, in a great deal of mythology there is tragedy that has happened when gods have let themselves be known to mortals and when demigods were born because of their relationships with them. The other gods usually weren’t terribly happy about it. I mean at least that’s what some interpretations say.” 

 

“I don’t know, you make some good points, but I just don’t think any kind of relationship can work without trust going both ways. He expected her to just be content with not knowing who her lover was, him being hidden to her and not knowing what he looked like. To trust him … but he didn’t trust her.” She sighed.

 

“Now, think of the rest of the story and what did happen when Aphrodite found out about Psyche and Eros being involved and how she punished Psyche? Don’t you think that maybe Eros was just protecting her?” he asked her sincerely “And that it wasn’t a matter of him not trusting her?” 

 

“Yeah, yeah I suppose your right. But it was a huge mess for a while. Psyche suffered so much. But I also think Eros acted like a little bitch getting his feelings all hurt and running away like he did when Psyche sneaked in to find out who her lover really was, what he really looked like. He could have stayed and talked things out with Psyche, they could have tried to work things through. I don’t know much about it but isn’t that how love is supposed to work? His whole, ‘without trust there is no love’ thing is great, but at the same time, she was confused and got her mind all turned around by her manipulative sisters,” she explained.

 

“Yes, she did and I agree. He could have stayed, but he didn’t because in these stories the gods aren’t exactly the most understanding because they’re gods, Rey. They don’t think like humans, they are above those things and they’re not always there to be understanding. But he definitely came around in the end,” he said as he gestured with his hands. “She ended up being offered immortality and they lived happily ever after as the saying goes.” He smiled gently.

 

“Sure he came around after Psyche worked her ass off on impossible, painful tasks for his mother to prove her love for him. I just think it was kind of bullshit that she had to suffer so much to prove her love. I guess it’s just, I don’t know, I think love should be more forgiving. I think love should be more understanding,” she said softly. 

 

Ben stared at her for a long time. “I agree. Maybe that’s why real love is such a hard thing to come by. Why people don’t stay together.” He thought of his own parents. “Maybe that’s what these stories are trying to teach us. In their own way. What we should and shouldn’t do when it comes to things like that.” He shrugged. “I guess that’s for you to decide.” 

 

She smiled then. “That’s a really good point Ben. I think I have an even better basis for my paper now.”

 

He grinned widely. “Well I’m glad to hear it. You know, you’re really passionate about this subject all of the sudden. It’s really nice to see,” he said with a bit of a chuckle. “I think it’s good that we’re focusing on mythology for your extra credit. You seem to have really taken to it.” 

 

He couldn’t help but think, “Yes, Rey, it’s amazing to see the way your eyes light up and the way your cheeks flush when you speak so passionately about something you believe in. It makes me want to lean across this table and kiss you until you can’t think straight.”

 

“I really like it, it is very interesting. The characters are mysterious and challenging to try to understand; they seem, I don’t know, they’re not dusty like so many of the other books I’ve been assigned to read.” She shrugged as she watched him. “You like that? That I get passionate about something?” She bit her lower lip and couldn’t actually believe she had just said those words.

 

He felt himself grow very warm and cleared his throat, blinked quickly, he raised his eyes to hers, and opened his mouth for a moment and then closed it. He was momentarily rendered speechless.

 

He finally found his voice. “I mean ... well yes … I want you to be passionate about the class Rey, passion about your studies is very important.” He looked down at his hands and then back up at her.

 

“But I mean … passion in general is a g-good thing too, to have, as a personality trait. It’s very attractive,” he breathed out. Fuck. He shifted in his seat, he felt his pants start to get tighter, his cock harden.

 

She reached and brushed a lock of loose hair off her shoulder as she watched him and she smiled. “Yeah I think it is a good thing too. It’s important to feel strongly about things. You have to really want things to get anywhere in life. To make something of yourself. You have to work hard and focus and know what you want.” She licked her lips slowly as her eyes lowered to his lips, lingering there. Her cheeks flushed. 

 

What the fuck. She was totally flirting with him. Jesus Christ. His cock got harder. Thank god she couldn’t see him under the table. 

 

“Yes, I agree. Absolutely. It’s important to know what you want.” He paused. “S-speaking of which. I was wondering if you wanted to head over McGhee’s on Friday, get some food, a drink. I could pick you up at your dorm. I know you live on campus. It’s a bit of a walk for you.” He swallowed hard. Fuck what it looks like. He wanted to go out with her and that was it. Please say yes. 

 

She smiled widely as she looked into his eyes. “I would love that. Yes. How about 8 o’clock?” 

 

“Yes, yeah, that’s perfect, 8 o’clock. Definitely, 8 o’clock. Right. Okay. Well. I think that’s about it for today. I think you have this well in hand. You’re doing amazing. I don’t know if you’re going to need me for much longer,” he said casually as he started gathering up his things.

 

“Oh, I don’t know about that, Ben,” she said in a low voice as she started packing up her things as well.

 

He thought he was about to choke on his tongue as he glanced up at her and caught her gazing at him with what looked like a clearly sensual look. 

 

“Well, that’s good then. That’s great.” He smiled.

 

She paused a moment “Oh! What will our next story be?” She looked at him with a grin. 

 

“Ah, yes. Pygmalion and Galatea. Aphrodite shows up in this one too, though you might be surprised by her actions here.” He chuckled. “How about we talk about when our next study date will be on Friday? Sound good?” he asked curiously

 

“That sounds perfect.” She grabbed her backpack and headed out. “See ya, Ben.” 

 

He watched her walk out and leaned on the table. Holy shit. He couldn’t believe this was happening. It was definitely happening. They were happening. At least they were on their way to happening. He better not fuck this up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my beta @perrydowning - both she and her hubby were sick this week and she still managed to get this chapter beta'd and back to me. i so appreciate her 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey head out on their first date and discover much more about each other. Things start to get more personal between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Lovelies! I hope you're all doing well. Here's and early update of our next chapter. I hope you all enjoy !!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/31249234268/in/dateposted-public/)

Rey and Rose sat cross-legged on her bed in her dorm with the pizza box between them holding two cokes and chuckled. 

  


“Rose,” Rey began. “I think I’m in trouble,” she sighed. “I really like Ben Solo. As in like him, like him.” 

  


Rose, who had just taken a sip of her coke, coughed a bit and shook her head. “I know you said you had something you wanted to talk about but I really wasn’t expecting this.” 

  


“I know, I know,” she whined.

  


“Finn said that you two were friends now or something and I just blew it off; but Rey, this is Ben Solo we’re talking about. What changed?” she asked. 

  


“I gave him a chance and got to know him a bit better. He’s actually a really decent guy.” She shrugged. “I had lunch with him the other day and it was sorta a date.” 

  


  


“Seriously?” Rose’s eyes widened and then she paused. “Oookaaay.” She took another sip of her coke and thought. “But he doesn’t exactly fit with our world.” She looked around the dorm room. “I mean, look where we’re sitting. Also he’s a TA, isn’t that frowned upon?” 

  


“There’s no real particular rules against seeing a TA, as it stands. I mean he’s not handling my grades so it’s alright, I guess. I mean maybe some people might think it’s not okay. I don’t know, I’m trying not to worry about it.” She shrugged.  
  
  
Rose looked at her. “Well I mean okay, no rules against it doesn’t mean it might not be… weird. Some people might look at you guys in a bad way. Some higher ups still might not like it. But I see what you’re saying. Still, you two are still pretty different.”  
  
Rey looked around. “And yeah I mean we’re from different worlds. So, I live in a dorm room and he probably lives in some fancy place, but Rose, that doesn’t mean I’m always going to be in a dorm room. This is just a beginning for me. I don’t plan to live like this forever,” she grumbled. 

  


“I know that Rey but his life is so different from where we come from. He was raised with money, prestige, the best schools, the best clothes, the best of everything, do you really think you two can relate to each other?” She shrugged and took a big bite of pizza.

  


“I don’t know, he just doesn’t seem to care about any of that. After spending time with him, he doesn’t seem to be like I thought he was. He doesn’t even notice any differences in what we’re wearing or where we’re from. When we’re together it’s just me and him.“ She paused and took another bite of her pizza and chewed.

  


She swallowed her pizza and continued, “He likes me Rose. He’s really nice to me. I like the way he looks at me. He looks at me like I’m utterly gorgeous. When I talk, he looks at me like there is no one else in the whole world that he’d rather be with and there’s nothing more important in the whole world to him than me. Do you know what that feels like? For someone like me? To matter like that?” she asked softly.

  


“Rey. That makes sense. I can totally get that. He’s really into you, but does he know all of you? I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Take it slow okay? If he’s the good guy you say he is let him get to know you and see how he reacts. Give him a chance to really accept the real you. I know it’s hard for you to let people in, but you’ll never really know if he really is the kind of guy you want to be with if you hide who you are from him, you know?” she said honestly. 

  


“We’re going out to McGee’s on Friday, definitely a date this time. Dinner, drinks, the whole deal. I mean, at least it’s a casual place, but it’s the real thing this time.”

  


“That’s great,” Rose said enthusiastically

  


Rey thought about it quietly, chewed on some more pizza, and took a big sip of coke “Yeah, but I don’t want to get hurt.” 

  


“None of us wants to get hurt, Rey, but how can we ever find the right person for us if we’re not willing to take the risk? No risk, no reward. Isn’t that what the saying is?” She smirked and shrugged. 

  


“Yeah. I guess you’re right. I just don’t like the idea of risking my heart,“ Rey said solemnly. 

  


“But if it works out, it definitely would be worth it. He’s so hot Rey, and if you say he’s a nice guy it could be a really great thing,” Rose said with a smile and a wiggle of her brows. 

  


Rey raised her coke can in a toast “Well, that would be very true, very true. He is amazingly hot and yeah, it could be a good thing. I know that we seem to not have a lot in common but maybe it could work out. Here’s hoping.” 

  


Rey paused and had a final thought. She knew McGee’s was just a bar but she also knew it was in a nicer part of town. It was still just a bar though so no big deal, right?” She smiled to Rose and gave her a tight hug.

  


“Hey Rose, can I borrow those black boots of yours, the heeled ones?” she asked casually. 

  


“Yeah absolutely. I’ll bring them over in the morning,” she grinned. “I’ll even help you pick out an outfit. You’ll look hot and blow him away.” 

  


=====================

  


Ben and Hux sat at Blowfish, one of the best Sushi restaurant’s in the area, eating in contented silence. The two men didn’t say anything for several moments until Hux finally broke the quiet.

  


“Well, are you going to fucking tell me what’s going on or aren’t you? You ask me here, we order the food and sake, and then you sit here like a fucking corpse saying nothing.” He rolled his eyes and skillfully picked up his tuna nigiri with his chopsticks and ate.

  


Ben cleared his throat, took a deep sip of sake and nodded. “Well I’m seeing her. Rey I mean. Things have really moved forward. We’ve talked a lot over the last two study sessions, we had lunch and I’ve asked her to go to McGhee’s with me this coming Friday night,” he blurted out in a quick burst.

  


Hux set his chopsticks down slowly and tilted his head a bit. He looked at Ben as if he was studying a very complicated puzzle.

  


“What the fuck? A few weeks ago you were telling me she hated you and now all of this has happened? Ben Solo I didn’t think you had it in you. What did you do to convince her you were an interesting person? How many lies did you have to tell?” He smirked.

  


“Ha ha, very funny Hux, and fuck you very much. No, we actually just started talking. The study sessions helped. She began to open up a bit and I guess I did too. Then we ran into each other on campus and I just spontaneously asked her to lunch.” He shrugged. “It wasn’t awful.” 

  


“Well obviously it wasn’t awful, dipshit, or she wouldn’t still be wanting to see you would she? So is she really into you or is this some kind of sucking up to the teacher thing?” he asked seriously.

  


  


Ben shook his head. “No, I really think she likes me. She’s a very honest person. There’s no bullshit with Rey. Plus, I have nothing to do with her grading, so it doesn’t really matter if she sucks up to me. I mean yeah, I’m helping her with Literature but honestly she’s really helping herself. All she truly needed was someone to help her focus on the subject; she’s really smart, Hux. She’s amazing.” He sighed.

  


“Ah fuck, now here we have it; you’re already falling for her. I mean, I understand if you were dying to get in her pants Solo, but this, you’re falling down the rabbit hole of emotional attachment? Haven’t I always told you that you were too emotional?” He shook his head at him. 

  


“Yes, you have but I can’t help how I am Hux; I’m not like you. I’m not a fucking robot.” He smirked.

  


“That’s Mr. Robot to you, thank you very much.” He chuckled. 

  


“Alright Mr. Robot, I need you to do me a favor on Friday; do you think you could manage that? Or will you be too busy downtown posing for pictures at the sci-fi convention?” 

  


“Oh, you wound me. Yeah I suppose I can help you out, Solo. What is it you need?” He leaned back with his sake and sipped, waiting for the details. 

  


==================== 

  


Friday night arrived and Ben got himself ready for their date. He was nervous as hell; he hadn’t been on a date in forever. But this was Rey, and that was all he could think about. Her beautiful face and her sexy voice; her amazing figure and her shining personality. 

  


He dressed in a white button-down, a black herringbone sport coat with black jeans, matching leather shoes, and a black cashmere scarf. He grabbed his black leather driving gloves off the front table with his keys and headed out. 

  


He parked his BMW outside Rey’s dorm and swallowed. The idea of walking into a dorm, given his position with the university, was a daunting one. It was certainly not comfortable, but if he was going to date Rey, he had to suck up his discomfort and accept the fact that she lived there. He wanted to be involved with her. It wasn’t like she was that young. He’d looked up her records, and her birthdate showed she had just turned 21. The fact that he was 28 made him a bit her senior, but it wasn’t completely untoward. 

  


Jesus. What was he doing? She was seven years younger than him, an undergrad student, and living in the fucking dorms. He was a TA in her Literature class and he probably shouldn’t be dating her. But fuck him if he wasn’t already head over heels for her and he just couldn’t help himself. He adored her. Just being in her presence made him happier than anything he could remember in his life. 

  


She was this bright light in all the darkness of his world. She made all the loneliness just slip away, and when he looked in her eyes, he felt like she understood him somehow. He didn’t quite understand it, but there it was. He wasn’t going to let it go.

  


While he sat there zoning out to his own maddening thoughts, he didn’t notice Rey walking up to his car until he heard the knock on the passenger side window. He jumped in his seat. He looked over at her, immediately exited the car, and walked around to the other side. 

  


“Rey! I wasn’t expecting you to come out! I would have come up to get you,” he said in a surprised tone.

  


“Hi Ben. I didn’t want you to have to do that. Dealing with all those crazies in there. Seriously. It’s okay.” She smiled up at him.

  


“You look beautiful,” he said as his eyes moved over her appreciatively.

  


Her hair was fully down, with soft curls at the ends, and her lovely face had on light make-up. She wore a black knit sweater that clung to her slight figure in all the right places, dark wash jeans, and black suede boots with three-inch heels. Over her arm was her battered coat. It was clear she really didn’t want to put it on and ruin the look of her outfit. 

  


“Thank you.” She blushed softly under the heat of his gaze. 

  


“Please, allow me.” He opened the door for her and held his hand out to her to help her into the car.

  


She stared at his hand for a minute as if she was confused, but then placed her hand gently in his and allowed him to help her slip into the car with a small smile.

  


“I hope you’re hungry,” he said as he drove off through the narrow streets of the university town.

  


“I’m starving, actually.” 

  


“Excellent. McGhee’s has great pub food. Also, they have a great Irish band playing tonight that I think you’ll enjoy.” 

  


“Oh that sounds awesome. I’ve always wanted to go there, but it’s a bit of a hike so, you know,” she left it hanging. 

  


“Yeah, I understand. It’s only a few blocks from my place,” he said. “It’s a bit of a neighborhood bar for me.” 

  


“Oh that’s really cool,” she murmured realizing that of course he’d live in that much nicer part of town.

  


“You wouldn’t mind if I just parked my car at my place and we walked the few blocks to the pub, given that you’re wearing those nice heels?” he asked gently.

  


“No not at all, these are actually pretty comfortable,” she lied .

  


“Awesome.” He glanced over her with a smile.

  


They drove in silence for the short trip. The route took them through lovely neighborhoods until they reached his place and pulled into his driveway. It was a stately old brick townhouse with stairs leading up to a wide, ornate wooden door with a brass door knocker.

  


Rey tried not to ogle, but she knew what places like this went for in the area and just couldn’t believe it. Of course he’d live in a place like this.

  


He hopped out of his car and came around and opened her door and held his hand out to her to help her out. 

  


“Rey?” he called her name trying to get her attention.

  


“Oh yeah, sorry.” She put her hand in his and slipped out of the car.

  


“So yeah, this is my place,” he said almost shyly. “It’s been in the family for years. My grandfather had it a long time ago.” He shrugged.

  


Rey just nodded. “It must be nice to have a family like that,” she said flatly.

  


“Yeah, I guess,” he replied.

  


Rey went quiet then and then started walking down the sidewalk heading to McGhee’s. She couldn’t help but puzzle at how he could say something like that. I guess. What the fuck? How could he not appreciate what he had? How good he had it. His grandfather left him a fucking house and he didn’t even seem to appreciate it.

  


“My grandfather wasn’t a really great guy. He did some shitty stuff,” he just blurted out.

  


Rey walked beside him as they headed to the bar.

  


“Oh,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” 

  


“Yeah. I mean. How could you? I just … I didn’t want to sound like an asshole back there. I mean … I don’t know,” he stammered.

  


“It’s okay.” She slipped her arm in his then, trying to make him feel better. Trying to make herself feel better somehow. “We don’t have to talk about it right now.” She leaned into him. 

  


“Thanks,” he said softly. 

  


They got to the bar and it was packed with people laughing and carrying on. It was clearly a busy night and the small Irish band was playing a lively tune. 

  


Rey quickly took in all the people in the bar and couldn’t help but notice the clientele. Upper crust casual. The men dressed in varying ways like Ben was and the women like the others she was used to seeing around campus. She spied their Louis Vuitton and Chanel bags over their shoulders. Sure it was a bar, a nice one, but this wasn’t a place she’d normally hang out. 

  


Ben looked around and saw who he was looking for across the room and raised his hand. Hux was sitting at a table for four and raised his hand as well.

  


“Hey man I’ve been waiting for you,” Hux said with a smirk. “What the hell took you so long?”

  


“Hey, thanks for holding the table for us,” Ben replied.

  


“Yeah well, you owe me one.” 

  


Rey just stood there feeling stupid as she looked between the two of them.

  


“Hux this is Rey, Rey this is Hux, he’s sort of my best friend if you can call it that. We grew up together and most of the time I just put up with him when he’s not being a total jerk.” He laughed.

  


Hux rolled his eyes. “No Solo, I’m the one who puts up with you.” 

  


Rey chuckled. “Hi Hux, nice to meet you.” 

  


Hux held out his hand “Hi Rey, nice to finally meet you.” 

  


Rey puzzled a moment but took his hand and shook it. 

  


“I’m was just here to hold the table so now I’m gonna head to the bar and get another drink. You two kids have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He laughed and walked over to the bar, slipped between two women, and began a conversation. 

  


Ben smiled. “Yeah so that’s Hux.” He pulled out a chair for Rey.

  


Rey chuckled. “So I gathered. He seems nice.” 

  


Ben laughed then. “Nice is definitely not a word I would use to describe Hux, but he’s okay. I’ve known him a long time and he’s been there when I’ve needed him.” 

  


Rey nodded. “That’s what’s important. Loyalty.” 

  


“You’re right,” Ben replied. “Loyalty means a helluva lot.” He smiled at her and took a menu off the middle of the table, handing it to her.

  


“So what did he mean, nice to finally meet you?” she asked curiously.

  


Ben just stared at her and flushed, “Well, I may have mentioned you a time or two Rey. You’ve been on my mind for a while.” 

  


Ben thought; Of course you’ve been on my mind Rey, you’re all I can fucking think about. I adore you. I worship you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you have my babies? I’m losing my mind. Fuck. 

  


Rey smiled widely “Oh have I? Well that’s nice, because you’ve been on my mind too,” she said back to him with a little flirty smile.

  


“Oh really? Well that’s good to know. I’m glad we have that in common.” He felt his dick start to harden as he thought of all the ways she’d been on his mind and all the ways he’d thought of fucking her. Jesus. 

  


“Why don’t we get a drink, order some food, and we can talk more about that?” She chuckled.  
  
=====================

  


After gorging themselves on the amazing burgers and fries and their third whiskey, they had really begun to open up to each other.  
“So you said at lunch you were with the nanny a lot, but what you’re telling is that your mother was virtually never home while you were growing up, like she was gone all the time?” she asked as she downed another sip.

  


“Yeah, pretty much. I was with the nanny most of the time. My dad was away at business conferences and my mom was always away at book tours and academic symposiums or shit like that, and then they were always at work. Most of the time I had no idea where they were.” He took a sip of his drink and rolled his eyes. 

  


“So you basically had no relationship with them when you were a little kid?” She furrowed her brow, her voice coming out more pissed than it likely should.

  


“Nope. When they were home my mom especially would tell me how much she loved me. She tried. She’s not some battle axe, it’s just she was never there. My Dad tried, too. He tried to get me interested in his work but I was more bookish. I wasn’t into planes so we didn’t click so much. They would buy me things to try to make up for it. I mean when they were there they tried I guess. Yeah they’d try, when they weren’t screaming at each other.” He groaned. “They fought a lot.” 

  


“Well that fucking sucks,” she said flatly. She thought to herself, well at least you had parents but it definitely didn’t sound like it was a walk in the park, either. It certainly wasn’t what she expected he had had growing up. She actually felt sorry for him. Really sorry for him. 

  


“Yup, so I was always getting in trouble at school. Getting into fights. I was just so pissed off all the time. I had so much anger inside. So they decided to ship me off to boarding school when I was 10, where my uncle was the headmaster. That’s where I met Hux.” He downed the rest of his drink.

  


She blinked at him. “So they just tossed you away?” Just like what happened to her. Okay not like what happened to her, but maybe he’d understand her life. No. He couldn’t understand what happened with her life could he? It was totally different.

  


“In a manner of speaking? They just did what they thought was best, they sent me away to get a good education, to get my ‘issues’ under control.” He made air quotes with his fingers. “They thought my Uncle could help me. He was, is, a really zen guy. It didn’t matter that I didn’t see them except on holidays and school breaks and even then they weren’t always available. Didn’t matter if I felt confused, rejected, and alone. If It only made things worse. None of that mattered.” He swallowed as he looked into her eyes.

  


“I know what it’s like to be alone,” she said solemnly.

  


“You’re not alone,” he said, looking into her eyes.

  


She reached a hand across the table to him, their fingers entwined. “Neither are you,” she replied, gazing into his eyes.

  


They sat there, silent, silent for what felt like many long moments.

  


He squeezed her hand and then pulled himself out of it.

  


“But I got over it. It’s in the past. I killed all that a long time ago. You just have to leave all that behind you. Right?” he sighed. 

  


But did he? Did he really leave it all in the past? His relationship with his mother was still strained. He hadn’t talked to his father in nearly a decade. He was filled with what felt like an inner darkness and emptiness he couldn’t get past. Now it seemed it was only when he was with Rey that he felt any semblance of light.

  


“Yeah I get it. The past can really fuck us up. I guess I never realized given how easy things seemed for you. I mean, I guess I thought I had you all figured out. Trust fund kid, money, privilege, best education, everything came easy. I thought you must have had the perfect family. Perfect life. But under the surface it was all fucked up. I’m so sorry Ben. I should have realized things are never as good as they seem on the surface.” She sighed.

  


“Yeah most people seem to think that, it’s easy to do. I mean don’t get me wrong, I won’t lie to you. Money makes life easier. But money doesn’t make life happy. You can have all the money in the world and still be the most miserable, lonely, broken person.” He paused and thought of his grandfather and the stories he’d heard of the shitty things he’d done and the terrible things that’d happened and how miserable he was.

  


Ben realized then that he didn’t think he’d ever told anyone the full extent of what his life had been like. He knew there was more, but this, this was a start and it felt so great to get it off his chest. 

  


Rey watched him and began to wonder if she could really open up to him about her past. Still she felt a knot in her stomach, that fear, that doubt that she was broken. Worthless. Nobody. Nothing. She kept hearing Plutt’s voice in her head. “No one is coming for you, girl.” “No one will save you, girl.” She couldn’t really tell him the truth about it all. How could she really trust him with everything? 

  


If he knew the truth of what really happened, how her parents threw her away like garbage, how they abandoned her and left her at the steps of the orphanage because they were drug addicts and ended up dead less than a year later. How Plutt abused her growing up, he wouldn’t want her anymore. She was nothing. 

  


“For me, growing up in England it was pretty rough. I lost my parents when I was 5 years old. They died from a drunk driving accident” She lied. “So I got put in the system. I worked my way through. I worked hard academically. I knew that was the only way I could get out. I made something of myself. I wanted to get out of there and so I applied to every scholarship I could over here and when I got the Jakku scholarship I pounced on it. I was one of the lucky ones.” 

  


It wasn’t really a lie, if it was mostly all the truth. She was just protecting him wasn’t she? Protecting him from knowing the worst of it. Protecting him from knowing she wasn’t worthy of him. But really, she was just protecting herself from the shame she still carried. 

  


“Rey, you are one of the strongest people I have ever known. I look at you and what you’ve been through and all I see is light and goodness inside you. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you and somehow you still carry on, day after day. I know I couldn’t have gotten through that kind of loss or struggle. I admire you so much.” He smiled at her. “You’re amazing to me.” 

  


Rey smiled to him and felt his words wash over her like a warm balm. He really cared for her and believed in her. No one had ever looked at her like he did. He made her feel like the most precious person in the world. Maybe one day she could tell him everything. But right now as she looked into his beautiful eyes she knew now for certain, she wanted Ben Solo with everything inside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- as always i don't know what i would do without her 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben's date continues and things heat up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay my lovelies please mind the rating - the rated E train is leaving the station. I hope you enjoy.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/44402461604/in/dateposted-public/)

They made the walk back to his place to get to his car and he paused and looked at her “Would you like to come in for a drink?” he asked quietly.

 

“I’d like that,” she said with a smile. 

 

She stepped into his apartment and looked around. It was a beautiful old style colonial town house, with high exposed beam ceilings with excellent wood work, but the place had been totally remodeled so that the inside décor was purely modern, an open floor plan with dark wood and metal, a leather sofa, and modern tables. Granite counter tops for his kitchen island and counters, with leather and metal bar stools and an eat-in kitchen. Modern art on the walls and what looked to be an actual Pollock. State-of-the-art stereo system and TV. This place was seriously incredible.

 

Jesus this place was worth more money than she could even imagine. She started to feel uncomfortable and like she really didn’t fit here.

 

He pulled off his jacket and hung it on the rack and then walked over to her and looked down at her with a smile. He helped her slip off her coat and sighed as he ran his arms over hers. “Rey, this coat is falling apart. You really need a new one,” he said protectively.

 

She stiffened. “I know but I can’t afford to get one right now.” She sighed and gave him a hard look. It only made her feel more uncomfortable. 

 

“Well why don’t you let me buy you one?” he asked gently.

 

“Ben, I don’t need your charity,” she said sharply as she glared up at him.

 

“Rey, don’t think of it as charity, think of it as me doing something for the woman I care about. I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to freeze to death as it gets colder,” he said tenderly as he looked down at her with kindness in his eyes, reaching out to touch her cheek softly.

 

She wanted to melt into his touch but refused to. “Ben, dammit, I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me. I’m resourceful.” She pulled away and paced. “I’ve always taken care of myself. We’ve barely started seeing each other and here you are trying to come to my rescue.” 

 

“Rey, friends help each other if they can. We’re friends aren’t we? I mean I like to think we’re more than friends though?” he asked quietly as he watched her pace. 

 

“Yes, we are friends. Yes, we’re more than friends. You’re right. But, I mean. I just don’t want to seem like some charity case to you. Besides, I will get myself another coat, eventually; I just need to save up. It’s just things always seem to come up and I end up having to spend the money.” She signed and shook her head. 

 

He nodded. “Look, you are definitely not some charity case. I would never think about you like that. I know you can take care of yourself. That’s one of the million things I adore about you. You’re strength and independence. I would never try to take that away from you.”

 

She realized he didn’t want to buy her affection or try to take away her independence. He didn’t see her like that. He just wanted to be there for her, because she’s the woman he cares about. She looked at him and saw the sincerity in his face and the kindness. She started to relax more. She’d never really had a man genuinely care about her before. Not in a relationship. 

 

“Alright I understand what you mean now.” She walked a bit more around his living room.

 

“I … I also don’t want you buying me some outrageously expensive designer jacket.” She threw it out there trying to find some reason for him not to buy her something. She was struggling with her pride but at the same time her heart was feeling moved by his generosity. It was a strange dichotomy. 

 

“Okay, gotcha, no outrageously expensive designer jacket. So what then, where do you normally shop?” 

 

She eyed him suspiciously and eased down into one of his arm chairs. “Thrift stores, consignment shops, places like that. You can usually find really cool and nice things there.” 

 

He nodded but chuckled a moment “Yeah, but what if you found a nice designer jacket at one of the thrift stores, would you let me buy it there?” He was smirking as he teased her.

 

“That’s different!” she barked out.

 

“Oh yeah? How is it different?” he asked sarcastically.

 

“It just is,” she huffed.

 

“Okay, okay, okay.” He held his hands up. “So we can compromise? What if I get you a coat from one of those places?” 

 

“Yeah, okay. I guess that would work. Man, you’re stubborn.” She smiled at him but she felt warm inside and she felt something she’d never felt before, outside of her few close friends— she felt genuinely cared for. But, with Ben it was different, it went straight to her heart.

 

The tension in the room had shifted now that they were no longer arguing, and their gazes lingered on one another heavily. Ben felt his heart beat faster in his chest as he gazed into her eyes. The silence in the room grew and it seemed that the only sounds were their breathing and their own heartbeats thundering in their ears. There were awkward silences and then there were the silences that lingered before something important was about to happen. This seemed to be the latter, the proverbial calm before the storm. 

 

Ben wanted her more than he ever wanted anyone in his life. The desire he felt for her went beyond the physical. He felt so much for her emotionally and mentally. He wanted to care for her and protect her but right now all he could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss her. _Don’t fuck this up Solo_ , he thought to himself.

 

He held his hand out to her where she sat and Rey placed her smaller hand in his. He drew her up to him and smiled down at her. He slowly reached out with his left hand and raised it up to tenderly cup her cheek as he gazed adoringly into her eyes. 

 

“I’ve been wanting to touch you all night,” he said in a gentle tone. 

 

“Me too,” she replied, her voiced a hushed whisper in the silent room.

 

Her hands lowered to grasp his waist as if to grant herself more balance.

 

“You’re so beautiful, Rey. I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you in all my life,” Ben said in a low, husky voice. His throat constricted. Their closeness had him aroused already; his jeans were tight, he was already rock hard. 

 

“You’re pretty beautiful yourself.” She grinned and lowered her eyes shyly.

 

He put his fingertip under her chin to tilt her head up a bit to get her to raise her eyes back up to his and then smiled. “You really think so? I’ve always felt pretty awkward. Hearing that from you makes all that awkwardness just seem to fade away. Thank you.” His words were so sincere. He looked down at her hungrily as he stared at her lips.

 

“You’re definitely not awkward,” she said seriously. “Now, if you’d just stop talking…” She reached a hand up behind his neck and tugged him down toward her.

 

His eyes widened as he realized what she was doing just before it happened.

 

Their mouths met in an eager kiss, Rey apparently wasn’t one to be shy about what she wanted when she really wanted it. She’d clearly been saving up for this, to Ben’s shock, amazement and pleasure. 

 

Rey attacked his lips with gusto, nibbling, licking and silently begging him for entrance to his mouth. He more than happily complied letting out a low groan as he did so. 

 

“Rey,” he growled out. His very large hands left her face and moved down the span of her back and went to circle her entire waist, holding her tightly against him as he opened his mouth to slot it over hers and let their tongues begin to sensually dance together. 

 

Ben could taste the whiskey that she’d been drinking on her tongue and it was delicious. More delicious was the slick sweet erotic feel of Rey’s tongue slipping over his. He felt like he could happily drown in her kisses. If he thought his cock was hard before, he was wrong; it was harder than he ever thought possible, now.

 

He tugged her even more tightly against his body, crushing her smaller frame to his; her slight curves pressed into his firm muscles, feeling every line and curve of her fitted to him. He let out another low groan into her mouth as he did. He felt his cock straining against his jeans at the sensation of being pressed against her stomach.

 

“You feel incredible,” he murmured. “Better than I ever imagined.” His erection pressed against her and she didn’t waste any time grinding her nimble little body on it as they continued devouring each other’s mouths. 

 

She reached up and thrust her fingers through his thick, dark hair and tugged, savoring the feel of it. It was as thick and soft and lustrous as she had dreamed. She felt herself slick and ready at her core and couldn’t seem to stop rocking herself against him like an animal in heat. She didn’t normally get this way, she had way more self-control; but with him, she felt it all slipping away.

 

“You do too,” she panted as she came up for air from their passionate kissing.

 

He lowered his hands from her waist and moved to cup her ass, yanking her up so that her feet were off the floor and her core was flush to his cock. She hopped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Letting out a low moan, she clung to him and moved back to attacking his lips. She rocked herself against his cock while he stood there in the middle of his living room, feeling himself press against her core, the fabric of their clothing preventing what they both seemed to want at this moment.

 

“Oh fuck, yes,” she murmured out.

 

“Jesus Christ,” he gasped. “Rey.” 

 

“Bedroom. Now,” she groaned into his mouth.

 

He walked with her as if she weighed nothing, her holding onto him, her legs wrapped around him, still wickedly grinding her wet core on his hard cock as he did. Swiftly, he walked them through his living room and into his large bedroom. 

 

Ben’s head was spinning. He couldn’t believe the passion that was exploding between them. It was crackling unlike anything he’d ever dreamed of. The way she was kissing him, clinging to him, rubbing her body against him. He couldn’t believe it and he wasn’t going to make the mistake of fighting how he felt for her or what was obviously some kind of magical chemistry that they clearly had for each other. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear Hux’s voice is his head chiding him that he needed to get laid. When he’s right, he’s right.

 

Rey felt completely overwhelmed by the force of passion that was coursing through her. She’d never wanted anyone the way she wanted Ben. She almost couldn’t control the desire she felt for him. Rey was never this aggressive with a guy; but with him, it just felt right. 

 

Ben thought he would be nervous when this happened between them, but he felt this powerful force come over him, this wild passion and hunger driving through him. Now that he had her, he planned to savor every bit of this. 

 

He broke their kiss and smiled at her. Then he grasped her by her hips and tossed her onto his large king-sized bed with a grin. 

 

She let out a peal of laughter and smiled up at him. 

 

“Nice digs.” She looked around the room.

 

“I’m glad you approve. You’re welcome here anytime,” he said with as he took off his glasses and set them on the dresser behind him.

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She watched him intently, her torso propped up on her elbows behind her. She felt her body trembling with desire as she lay there. She couldn’t quite believe this was happening. “So now what’s your plan?” Her eyes swept over him as he stood there.

 

He reached to his waistband and pulled his shirt out, unbuttoning it and tugging it off to reveal the hard, wide, muscled expanse of his chest and shoulders and his, firm, ripped abdomen. His jeans were slung low on his hips revealing that deep v cut. 

 

Her eyes widened and her mouth watered. 

 

“The way you’re looking at me, seems you see something you like, Rey,” he said smiling. 

 

“Um … maybe?” She bit down on her lower lip. “I could stand to see some more.”

 

“Well that’s good,” he teased as he kicked off his shoes and pulled his socks off. 

 

“I’m sorry, but you have far too many clothes on,” he said as he watched her. “I’m going to have to do something about that. If you don’t mind of course.” 

 

Rey giggled, she actually giggled. “I don’t mind at all.” 

 

“Good.” He reached up and slowly pulled off one of her boots, and then the next. Then he pulled off her socks and gave each foot a gentle squeeze. His eyes looking up to hers as he did so the whole time. 

 

He then reached up to her hips and tugged her down the bed in one smooth, strong motion that surprised her at just how easy it was for him.

 

“I’m thinking that sweater needs to go next, don’t you Rey?” he asked sensually

 

Rey grinned “I think that makes sense.” 

 

“I’m glad we could agree on terms.” He chuckled, reaching for her hand to help her to sit up and grasped the hem of the sweater, pulling it up and over her head. Then he paused, seeing her in her lacy black bra and swallowed.

 

His dick twitched against his jeans, straining to get to her; she was so fucking beautiful. He could see the outline of her perfect hardened nipples through the lace. He couldn’t keep his eyes from the sight of them.

 

Suddenly, Rey felt too exposed and felt like she should cover herself. She always felt like her tits were too small and she moved to hide them. “Don’t stare. I know they’re not much” she said a bit defensively.

 

Ben reached out. “Don’t. Don’t cover up Rey. You’re beautiful. Please. They’re perfect.” He pressed soft tender kisses to her neck and collar bone as he reached over and around behind her to unclasp her bra and slip it off her. It took him a few tries as he was by no means an expert but he finally got it and then she was nude from the waist up; he let out a low purring sound.

 

“Jesus, Rey, you’re so gorgeous,” he said with near reverence as he pressed her to lay back against the bed, then leaned down and took one pert nipple into his mouth, sucking tenderly. He lathed at it slowly, his tongue circling it around over and over again while his large hand cupped the other breast and massaged it, long fingers pinching the nipple gently. “Definitely perfect,” he remarked softly before resuming his attentions to her breasts.

 

Rey’s eyes closed and one of her hands threaded into his hair as she let out a keening sound of pleasure. God, how could he make her feel so beautiful? She’d always felt less than, not enough, too small, too boyish. But the way he talked to her, the way he looked at her, the way he touched her—he made her feel so perfect. His mouth and hand felt incredible on her and any thoughts of her being too small fluttered away with each suckling draw of his mouth and each massaging grasp of his hand.

 

She moaned softly as he moved more over her, pressing her down against the mattress, his weight pressing down on her a bit more. He was so large that he nearly dwarfed her smaller frame. He continued his ministrations on her breasts. His hungry mouth moving from one to the other. He slowly began to kiss his way down her abdomen while a large hand continued to caress her breasts. Alternating between kisses, soft bites and licks, he explored her body as he moved down.

 

Rey groaned and arched underneath him as he did, her head raising to watch him. She was awash in pleasure, she couldn’t remember when she’d ever felt like this. When someone had made her feel this good. This wanted. The sight of him sent a thrill through her, a shock of electricity that ran straight to her core and she knew she was already soaking through her panties.

 

He arrived at the waistband of her jeans and pressed his nose to the core of her; breathing in deeply, he let out a low growling sound. It was a primal sound of desire and need and certainly the sound of a man who loved what his nose was sensing.

 

“Fuck, you smell so good Rey; you’re so hot and I can feel how wet you are already.” He looked up at her as he moved to kneel between her legs. “Christ, I want to taste you.”

 

She watched him, her breath coming in short, panting breaths. Every ounce of her was on fire, aroused by what she was seeing, hearing and feeling. “You do, do you?” she purred softly. She wasn’t even sure what had come over her in that moment. All sense of nervousness went away and all she could picture was that lustrous hair as his face was buried between her thighs.

 

“May I?” he asked, reaching for the button of her jeans. He knew the answer was going to be yes, but still he asked, wanting to make sure that nothing happened that she didn’t want. Regardless of how badly he wanted her, he worried she could bolt like a frightened rabbit at one misstep. 

 

She nodded to him. “Yes.” 

 

His dexterous fingers unbuttoned her jeans and unzipped them, slowly tugging them down and pulling them off of her, leaving her laying there with just her panties. His eyes swept over her and he smiled, seeing the soaked fabric of her panties. “Well, this won’t do. They’re wet. Allow me.” He leaned down and slipped his fingers in the waistband of her panties and pulled them down her legs, leaving her exposed before him. 

 

He crawled back on the bed then, kneeling between her legs again, gazing down at her with wide, hungry eyes. His hands reached down and slowly pressed her thighs further apart, his eyes studying her beautiful sex as she lay exposed to him.

 

“Oh sweetheart, you’re so pink and perfect.” He reached out and gently ran his index finger over her, tenderly spreading her folds and sliding up a finger between them. “I like this,” he said in a sensual tone as he paused and brushed his fingers over the soft trimmed curls on her mons. “You’re so wet, Rey,” he said as his fingers slid back down through her folds again.

 

Rey shuddered as he touched her and pressed her hips up to him slightly. “Yes. Because of you,” she panted softly, her pupils dilated wide in desire for him. She couldn’t believe what was happening right now, but she was thankful for it.

 

“I want to taste you. I need to taste you, Rey. May I?” He lifted his gaze to her eyes watching her, studying her reaction.

 

“God, yes,” she moaned out with desire. “Please.”

 

He didn’t wait another minute, lowering himself down to the bed, his hands slipping under her just a bit to lift her up slightly towards his mouth. He took the first tentative sweep of his tongue along her sex, the tip of his tongue just slipping between her folds as he tasted the sweetly spiced nectar that her arousal drew from her. He pressed a gentle kiss to her folds, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “You taste as delicious as you smell, Rey. I don’t think I could ever get enough.” 

 

His hands shifted so that his thumbs could spread her open allowing his mouth to descend on her core. His tongue slowly lapped at her, pressing into her, tracing her and drawing patterns across her; he moved up so that he could focus on that sweet little nub at the top. He loved how responsive she was, how she bucked and writhed and moaned under his touch, his hands at times needing to hold her still. He turned his full attention to her clit where he began circling it with the tip of his tongue, gentle swirls at first and then pressing it with the flat of his tongue adding pressure and then sucking it between his lips. 

 

“Oh God, Ben, that’s so good. Jesus. Don’t stop. Please. Fuck. Don’t stop,” she panted out. Her hands reached out beside her to grasp the comforter. She bucked and pressed up against him as she moaned and let out soft mewling sounds in response. He was amazing and played her body like he was a maestro and she his favored instrument. And what beautiful music he drew from her.

 

Rey thought she would lose her fucking mind. He was so goddamned good. She had only experienced someone trying to go down on her once and it was some bumbling freshman after a party. It sucked so badly that she just pushed him off her. This. This was like heaven. She thought she was going to come undone right away. She’d never felt anything this good in her whole life. 

 

“You taste so good sweetheart, I’m not going to stop until I hear you scream my name,” he moaned into her before his mouth returned, even more eager and hungry, to devouring her dripping sex

 

Not content with just feasting on her, he slipped first one, then a second finger inside her and gently began to ease them in and out of her as he began to suck on her clit. His hand and mouth worked in erotic concert with one another, pressing deeply into her as he sucked wildly on her clit, then drawing back from her as he released her, only to start again. The room was filled with the sounds of their moaning, the suckling sounds coming from him and the wet sound of his thick, talented fingers fucking her as his lips and tongue helped press her ever higher.

 

Rey writhed and trembled on the bed as Ben worked her with his mouth and fingers so perfectly. She had lost the ability for rational thought. She couldn’t even beg him, all she could do was tremble, pant and writhe. More importantly, she could feel the pleasure washing over her and rising. She thought she would just float away.

 

Ben couldn’t seem to get enough of her. She tasted what heaven must taste like, what the nectar of the gods must be. This is what they talk about in mythology, he absently thought while gorging himself on her pussy. He would never get his fill. His fingers worked inside her, in and out, and gently curving, finding that sweet spot just inside. 

 

The pleasure building deep inside her was more than she could believe. She’d never experienced anything like this before. Sex was never like this. She was lost to the bliss of it all. Rey’s legs began to shake wildly and she began to tighten all over, her core began to clench around his fingers and then she cried out, “Oh Fuck. Yes. Ben. BEN!!” 

 

Rey came so hard she thought her head would spin right off her body and her hands released the comforter, reached down and fisted in his hair and tugged. 

 

He smiled into her as he lapped gently at the additional wetness and moaned. 

 

“You taste like heaven, sweetheart.” He raised his head and looked up at her with a glistening smile. “The nectar of the gods.” His mouth, chin and cheeks were all coated with her wetness, a sight that was so primal, erotic.

 

She smiled back down at him and shook her head, needing a moment to catch her breath and form words.

 

“Jesus Ben no one has ever done that for me before.” She was still trying to catch her breath.

 

“Well, it’s about fucking time,” he said with a smile as he crawled up next to her, propping himself up on one elbow, gazing down at her with adoration. “You deserve all the pleasure in the world.” His fingers slowly moved over her bare skin.

 

She looked at him, reaching over to run her hand along his body before noticing, or perhaps noticing once more something that had been forgotten in her pleasure. “You’re still wearing your jeans.” 

 

He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I am. I wanted this to be about you,” he said gently.

 

“God. Ben Solo. You’re full of surprises. I swear you are the most amazing man on the planet.” She smiled at him.

 

He tugged her into his arms and held her against his bare chest.

 

“I can get out of my jeans if you want,” he said with a chuckle.

 

“Yeah that sounds good. Just let me catch my breath.” She grinned. “I like the way I smell on you.” She pressed her head up, nuzzling against his neck just under his chin.

 

========================

 

He held her against his body and gently ran his fingertips over her naked skin. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” he asked her in a tender voice.

 

She snuggled her head against his chest, not looking up at him, “It’s not something I really think about, I mean not really. I’ve always felt pretty skinny and boyish. I guess it’s just not something I really feel.” 

 

“Well you are Rey. You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful outside but you’re beautiful inside, too. You’re strong and smart and kind. I still remember the first time I saw you in class. You have this internal light about you and you don’t even realize it. There is something so special about you. I just hope you realize that.” 

 

She sat up then and looked down into his face, her eyes glassy and smiled. “You know I’ve never had a guy talk to me the way you do. See me the way you do.” 

 

He shook his head “Well then they were just fucking blind.” He reached up and brushed his hands through her hair.

 

She leaned down and pressed her lips to his hungrily. She kissed him with a soul-deep need to devour him, to show him how much he meant to her, how much his words meant to her. All the things she couldn’t say to him she wanted to show him. She kissed his cheeks,his brow,his temple and his jaw and down his neck, she nipped and sucked, she left small love bites as she did and then kissed her way down his chest. 

 

She licked and kissed her way down his abdomen, and dragged her tongue through the ridges of his ripped abs. She arrived at his jeans and aggressively tugged at them and looked up at him through hooded eyes as she unbuttoned and unzipped them and tugged them off with his boxer briefs. His hardening cock sprung out. She smiled to herself as she gazed at it and then up at him. 

 

“Mmmmm, very nice,” she purred out before reaching to his cock and pressing it down for a moment then releasing it and letting it spring back up. She let out a playful giggle. “God, Ben, you’re so hard.”

 

He blushed hotly. “Well I’m glad you approve.” 

 

She yanked his jeans off the rest of the way, then crawled up his body and slowly moved between his legs. She brushed her hands up his legs, caressing the thick muscles of his calves and thighs, squeezing and massaging, working her way up his inner thighs. She gently reached his hip flexors and brushed her thumbs over them, teasing him and then crawled up over him as she slowly dragged her tongue from base to tip over his long cock that was now hard as a rock. 

 

She let out a soft moan of pleasure as she tasted him and the small droplet of pre-cum that glistened on the tip of him.

 

“Ohhhh, fuck,” he gasped out.

 

“Mmmmm, just sit back and enjoy, big boy,” she purred out onto him as she reached and wrapped her hand around his thick cock and licked at his tip. He felt so amazing in her hand, so thick and full. Velvety soft skin stretched over a steely core. It felt so perfect and sent her imagination spinning.

 

She swirled her tongue around his head, teasing him and then lapped at his length again several times, up and down, lathing at his exceptional length while her hand slowly pumped at him at the same time. She couldn’t help but notice that as her hand was wrapped around him, her fingers and thumb not only didn’t touch, but there was nearly an inch between them. God he’s thick, she thought to herself. Her other hand cradled his balls and gently caressing and rolling them. 

 

“Jesus Christ, Rey, it feels so good,” he panted out. His head swam with sensation. Every action of hers translated to a flood of sensory overload washing over him. Had he ever wanted someone this much? Had he ever enjoyed someone’s touch like this? Had it ever truly felt this good? No. The answer was simple.

 

Ben hadn’t had sex in a long time, longer than he could remember and he didn’t know how long he could last with her working him like this. He honestly was afraid he’d just cum all over her if she kept this teasing up. She was so good. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve her. She was a goddess. 

 

She took him into her mouth and slowly started suckling him, pressing him to the back and moving that motion up and down as her hand worked in unison with that motion over and over. Rey loved the power she felt as she was pleasuring him. She loved being able to give him this, to make him feel as good as he made her feel. In their tutoring sessions, he was in control. She took a small bit of enjoyment in pleasure at having the power here. 

 

“Oh my god,” Ben gasped “Rey fuck. I’m not going to last,” he moaned out. “Too good. Please. Fuck. I’m gonna cum.” 

 

“It’s okay baby, just let go.” She only took her mouth off him to mutter those words then slipped her lips back around him and pressed him deeply into her mouth.

 

He grunted as he felt his balls start to tighten up and his body tense, this was it, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He exploded in her mouth.

 

“FUCK YES, REY!!” he cried out as his body bowed up off the bed, his muscles all tensing as wave after wave of pleasure rushed through him, seeking the path of least resistance as it sought to exit his body. Some of that pleasure exited as his screams of pleasure, the groans and panting sounds that came from him. In other cases, it was the need to claw at the bedding and of course, there was the sensation as he released into her talented mouth.

 

Rey grasped him and pressed him to the back of her mouth and felt his cum erupt down the back of her throat like a geyser. She swallowed all of him, feeling a swell of pride go through her that she had just gave him all that pleasure. It was a heady feeling for her, having drawn this out of this large, strong man.

 

She lapped at him gently, slowly kissing up his abdomen as he reached down and tugged her up into his arms, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. She found herself surprised that he would kiss her like that right after she went down on him. She always thought guys were skittish that way, not wanting to taste their own cum but not thinking twice about wanting their lover to taste it.

 

“That was amazing Rey. You are amazing.” He held her tightly in his arms, her slight body lying flat atop his large one. His hands moving slowly over her back and down to grasp and massage her ass and then back up to her shoulders and brush through her hair tenderly. He then rolled her off him and tucked her into the side of his body.

 

She wriggled in as he moved her and snuggled into him. This was a new feeling for her. A new experience. She’d never really cuddled with someone before. She’d only had sex a few times and it was just a fast thing and done. This. This was totally new and it was just oral. 

 

“So are you thirsty?” he asked softly as he brushed his fingertips over her bare body. “Hungry? I could put something together for us.” 

 

“Hmmmm no.” Her eyes actually felt heavy. She knew she probably should get her clothes on and head home. “I really should get going.” 

 

“Oh. Yeah. I guess.” he said but there was regret in his voice. “You know, you really don’t have to go, if you don’t want. I mean you could just … stay. I mean, just to, sleep. No pressure. Like I said earlier, you’re welcome here any time Rey.” He tilted his head and looked down at her.

 

She raised her head and looked into his eyes and felt her heart beating fast in her chest. This was all going really fast but she couldn’t help admit to herself how good this felt, being here with him like this. How natural it felt. This pull she felt to him despite all their differences. He made her feel so good inside. 

 

“Alright. I’ll stay.” She smiled.

 

His smile was so wide it spread across his face and his eyes lit up “I’m so glad,” he said and tugged her back down to him and held her tightly. 

 

Eventually they adjusted and nuzzled under the covers and resumed their position of her tucked tightly next to him with his arms around her. Quiet fell over the room and there was nothing but the sound of their breathing as they slowly fell into a sweet contented slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- as always i don't know what i would do without her 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after and Rey and Ben see what that brings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies I hope you're enjoying this little fic so far and the direction our two crazy kids are going. I love and appreciate your comments so so much, they give me life. Thank you so much for every one of them. It means so much to me.
> 
> Thank you to the amazing [@pandacapuccino](https://pandacapuccino.tumblr.com/) for the beautiful artwork in this chapter. Read on to see it.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/31249234108/in/dateposted-public/)

He woke up with the sun barely shining into the room, his eyes slowly opening. Her body was pulled tightly against his, his arm wrapped around her, holding her back against his chest. His nose brushed down into her hair. Her hair smelled like strawberries. That was that intoxicating scent that had been delighting him. She must use a strawberry shampoo of some sort. He smiled to himself. He wanted to tighten his grip on her and pull her closer but he also didn’t want to wake her. 

 

He felt his morning erection press into her back; god her body, her beautiful naked body felt so amazing against his and he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anyone in his life. He wanted to slowly wake her up, tease her, taste her, arouse her, make love to her. But he knew that wasn’t the direction he should take just yet. He thought maybe it was just too was too soon. He didn’t want to rush her. Sure they’d fooled around last night but he wanted to wait. They’d only had their first date last night for fuck’s sake. Maybe he was being foolish, stupid, too romantic or old-fashioned waiting, but the fact that she was here in his bed was amazing. He’d never believed something like this would happen between them so soon. He’d hoped, sure, but last night was a miracle. 

 

He eased his arm off of her, pulled back and she let out a little whimper. He rolled to the side so he was able to get a better look at her sleeping face . She was so lovely in repose. Utterly at peace. No crinkle between her brows, no look of concentration or frustration. Just peace. 

 

He reached out and touched her cheek softly then. He couldn’t help himself. Just a brush of his fingertips and then he pulled back and slipped out of the bed quietly so as not to wake her. He walked over to his dresser, pulled out a pair of sleep pants. He tugged them on and headed out to the kitchen to start breakfast .

 

When Rey woke up it was to the wonderful aroma of rich coffee, sizzling bacon and doughy pancakes. She stretched her naked body out, feeling again the softness of what must be his billion thread count sheets and smiled. She hadn’t slept that well in ages. It was amazing to her. Sleeping in his arms, feeling so safe and content. It was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. 

 

She couldn’t believe she’d stayed the night but it just felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. Looking in his eyes when he asked her to stay, saying yes, had just felt right and now, waking up in his bed felt right, too. Oh man, she was in trouble.

 

She sat up and smiled again realizing that he was out there right now making them breakfast. What a sweetheart. She felt her heart squeeze at the idea of him doing that. It was so damn … romantic.

  


She pulled back the sheets and comforter and slipped out of bed, looking around for something to put on. Her eyes searched the room and fell on his shirt that he’d taken off the night before laying on the ground. She picked it up and put it on; it was massive on her. She had to roll up the sleeves multiple times and it came down to just above her knees. She buttoned two buttons in the middle and slowly walked out towards the kitchen with a small smile.

 

“Good morning,” she said as she approached him, eyes moving over him. Watching him standing there cooking with his briefs and t-shirt clinging to his body like a second skin was incredibly sexy.

 

He smiled widely as he glanced over to her “Good morning to you,” he said. “Fuck. That shirt looks amazing on you. You’re so damn sexy,” he said in a low sensual tone.

 

She grinned a gentle smile. “Well thank you. I’m glad you like it. Maybe I’ll have to keep it,” she teased.

 

“Feel free. It looks much better on you than it does on me,” he replied. “I hope you’re hungry,” he asked as he flipped a pancake and set it on a plate with several others.

 

“Starved, actually.” She walked over to get a closer look at what he was making.

 

“Good, because there’s plenty.” He gestured to the pancakes, bacon, a bowl of fruit and a glass decanter of orange juice. “There’s also coffee of course, on the counter behind me.” 

 

“It looks amazing,” she replied as she looked everything over, walked to the coffee maker, took one of the mugs, poured herself a cup with cream and sugar in it. “I don’t think I’ve had a cup of coffee that didn’t come from the café or Starbucks in ages.” She chuckled. 

 

“I guess that would make sense,” he said and gazed at her with a smile, his eyes moving over her affectionately. “You know, bedhead is a good look on you.” 

 

She sipped her coffee and then raised a hand to her head to pat down her hair gently with a tiny blush. “Oh yeah? Well I wouldn’t know. I’ve never stayed the night with someone before,” she admitted.

 

“Seriously?” he responded.

 

“Seriously. You’re my first Ben Solo.” She smirked at him and took another sip of her coffee.

 

“Well I’m honored. Thank you for staying. It means the world to me that you would.” He paused a moment. “It also means that I guess that makes two of us, Rey Kenobi.” He grinned back at her.

 

“What do you mean?” She tilted her head curiously.

 

“I’ve never had anyone spend the night before.” He shrugged.

 

“Ben, you’re like what, 28 years old? I figured you’d have at least had someone spend the night, having your own place and everything,” she said skeptically.

 

“Well I am not exactly good at the whole relationship thing, Rey. What is it you said the other day, I come off as condescending and a stuck-up asshole?” He sighed. “Not to mention the fact that I have a hard time letting people close to me.” He picked up his own coffee and sipped it as he stared at her.

 

She walked over to him and stood in front of him and looked up at him, running one hand up his chest slowly. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore, you at least have one person close to you now, right?” she smiled up at him. 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/45393004244/in/dateposted-public/)

 

“Yes. Yes I do.” He looked down at her with his whiskey brown eyes filled with affection and gratitude. He set down his coffee mug and reached for her, wrapping his arms around her. 

 

One hand reached up and fisted in her hair as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers and kissed her passionately. His tongue slipped in and danced with hers, tangling and swirling hungrily and he tugged her tightly against him. He growled softly into her mouth. 

 

She kissed him back with equal passion, feeling the connection between them, feeling that need they had for one another grow. The fact that they were these two forces alone in the world that truly seemed to understand one another, that somehow had found a way to connect and that this was more special than either of them realized.

 

He finally broke the kiss and released her with a soft chuckle. “I better let you go, as much as I’d like to make a meal of you again, I’m starving and am not going to let all this food go to waste.” 

 

Rey chuckled, too. “I appreciate that sentiment and agree. Those pancakes are calling my name.” 

 

He picked up a plate and walked over and plated up some food and then grabbed his coffee and walked over to sit at the dining table. He looked over at her, still disbelieving that she was there, in awe at the domestic scene before him. Part of him wondered if this could be it, if this could be his life. He wanted this like he’d never wanted anything before. He wanted this future. Her, with him. 

 

Rey followed Ben’s lead and plated up her own food, stacking high the pancakes, grabbing some bacon and picking up her coffee as she went to join him. 

 

“So what is on your agenda for today?” he asked her casually.

 

“I really didn’t have anything. Maybe work on some more homework I guess. Nothing major.” She cut up some pancake, happily stuffed it in her mouth and chewed.

 

“Hrmmm well, I wondered if you’d be interested in spending the day with me, maybe going out and doing some shopping?” He ate as well as he watched her, gauging her reaction.

 

She paused a moment, coffee cup raised to her mouth. She took a sip and swallowed, setting it down and considered his proposition. “Sure. That sounds good.” She smiled at him. “You were really serious about that last night, then?” she asked quietly.

 

“Yeah I was. That is if you’re not uncomfortable with it. I mean, I don’t want to do anything to put you off,” he said genuinely.

 

“No. I’m okay with it. It’s actually really nice. I’ve never had anyone who wanted to help me out like that before. I mean, I’m not used to that sort of thing.” She shrugged.

 

He smiled at her, kindness in her eyes. “I really care about you, Rey. You mean a lot to me. I hope you know that.” 

 

She met his gaze as he stared at her intently. She couldn’t help but feel that when he looked at her, he could see right into her soul. “I believe you. I care about you too, Ben.” 

 

He reached over and rested his large hand on her bare thigh, gently rubbed, and squeezed. 

 

She let out a soft sigh of contentment at the touch, so intimate and tender. It was so unusual for her to feel like this, to be cared for like this. It was so soon, but she couldn’t deny the connection she felt with him and how right it was. 

 

============================ 

 

They cleaned up the kitchen together quietly, enjoying the peace and domesticity of the action, there was something happening between them that neither could quite put a name too, some kind of deepening connection. It was happening fast and intensely, but couldn’t be denied. They both felt it. As they washed and dried the dishes, their hands touched and their eyes met one another. The sexual tension in the room built between them and it became more and more palpable. 

 

Ben looked down at Rey as he handed her the dishrag to dry her hands. “So, I suppose we should get cleaned up before I take you back to your room so you can get some clean clothes and we can head out for the day.” 

 

“Yeah, I suppose we should,” she said in a low tone.

 

“Did you want to use my shower?” he asked, swallowing hard. “I imagine it’s a lot nicer than the ones in the dorms.” He grinned playfully.

 

“Oh? Yeah that sounds really nice. But only on one condition.” She licked her lips slowly.

 

“What’s that?” He watched her tongue as it dragged over her lip, his cock already going rock hard.

 

“That you join me,” she said out in a husky voice.

 

“Fuck yes,” he answered.

 

She took him by the hand, saying nothing and led him back into the bedroom. She stood in the middle and slowly unbuttoned his shirt that she wore, unbuttoning the two buttons that held it together and stripped it off slowly. She first revealed one elegant bare shoulder to him. Her eyes were hooded with desire as she watched him. She wanted to tease him, arouse him, make him wild with desire. 

 

“Christ, Rey, are you trying to kill me?” he asked her as he watched her slowly tease him. His eyes swept over her body with a mixture of awe at her beauty and an aching desire.

 

“Maybe,” she answered with a wicked smile.

 

She slowly opened the shirt and let it slide to the floor.

 

“You are so perfect,” he muttered with a low moan and stepped to her.

 

“Uh uh uh. No touching.” She held her hand up to him.

 

He looked confused and licked his lips. His hands reached out for her and then fisted in frustration as they itched to touch her beautiful skin, to cup her perfect breasts.

 

“Get naked,” she commanded.

 

“Well yes ma’am,” he replied, chuckling and swiftly stripped out of his boxer briefs and t-shirt and stood naked and proud before her. 

 

“How do you have such a gorgeous body, Ben? Aren’t you a bookworm?” she asked curiously as she walked to him and gently dragged her hands over his chest.

 

He reached to grasp her hips and she pushed them away. “No touching.” She reminded him.

 

“Well, I run in the morning and lift weights,” he answered her in a raspy voice.

 

“Well, you do a very good job. You have a gorgeous body,” she replied as she ran her hands up and over him and moved to his cock that jutted out hard and proud as she slowly stroked it.

 

“Jesus fuck, Rey,” he hissed. “It’s hardly fair that you get touch me but I can’t touch you.”

 

“Who said anything about being fair?” she asked with a smirk. “Come along,” she said, leading him as she grasped his cock and tugged him toward the bathroom.

 

“You’re killing me Sweetheart. You’re fucking killing me.” 

 

She looked at the large glass shower and let out a purring sound. “That is absolutely gorgeous,” she said as she released his cock and opened the door and stepped in and turned on the water. “C’mon in here.” 

 

He quickly joined her and moved to grasp her around her waist. “No more teasing dammit.” His hands were strong, and his fingers gripping her possessively. He wasn’t about to let her slip from his grasp again.

 

She squealed and giggled as the water poured over them; his mouth descended on hers and devoured her in a clash of teeth and tongues and lips, sensually twisting together . He was ravenous as he kissed her. Fierce in his taking of her mouth, he yanked her body flush against his as they were covered with the hot water, his cock pressing against her belly. 

 

He broke the kiss and looked down at her “You are a fucking tease and I love it. I adore you Rey. You make life so god damn interesting.” 

 

She laughed. “You make me feel happy, Ben,” she confessed. “Really happy.” She wiggled in his grasp, just a bit, reveling in the feeling of his aroused cock pressing against her, knowing she was driving him wild. “Seems I make you happy too.”

 

“I’m so glad,” he answered. “And yes, you do. Now let me take care of you. Turn around Sweetheart . Let me wash your hair.” 

 

She turned as he instructed and pressed back against him, enjoying the feel of his desire that now pressed against the small of her back. This certainly wasn’t how she’d expected this day to start, but she had no regrets.

 

He reached for the shampoo and squirted a generous amount into his hand, then gently began to lather it into his hand, slowly working it through her hair. He massaged her head slowly, tenderly. 

 

“Does that feel good, Sweetheart?” he asked in a low sensual tone, his front pressed gently up against her back, his cock nestling above her ass. 

 

Rey let out a low moaning sound that was the only response she could muster at first. It felt delicious. It was different from when she got her cheap haircuts at the Clip Cuts place, this was real pleasure of a head massage from someone who really cared about you and wanted to make you feel good. That was the thing about Ben, he really wanted to make her feel good. He gently washed from root to end after he gave her scalp a good massage.

 

“It feels amazing,” she replied. No one had ever tended to her like this before. It was like some kind of miracle. 

 

“Well we’re just getting started,” he replied, his voice laced with sensual promise. He eased her back under the water and rinsed her hair and then reached for the bodywash and sponge and gently began to move it slowly and caressingly over her body, around her neck and collarbone, her beautiful breasts. His hand moved to follow its path, touching her sensually, his fingers moving to pinch one nipple and then the next. He kneaded her firm breasts with his large hand. He had been dying to touch her, and he certainly wasn’t going to waste this opportunity. She felt so good in his hand, his mind swam at the possibilities.

 

Rey let her head fall back against his chest, letting out a low purring sound of pleasure. This was like some erotic dream. It wasn’t foreplay because it wasn’t as if they were trying to lead up to sex or were they? It was almost as if this was pleasure for pleasure’s sake, something she’d never experienced before in her life. 

 

The sponge moved down her abdomen and gently between her legs. His hand slowly joined it, mapping her body as it went, mentally recording every curve and plane of her form. He moved her under the water to wash the soap from her body and hold her tightly against him and then his hand snaked around her hip once more and slipped between her legs. His long thick fingers slipped between her thighs and gently massaged her there.

 

“Do you like that Rey? When I touch you?” he asked in a low voice as his lips moved over the shell of her ear, his tongue flicking out. 

 

“Y-yes,” she replied, leaning her body against his strong form while her hips pressed forward reflexively, pushing against his talented fingers.

 

“I’m so glad. I want to make you feel good,” he told her. He realized in that moment that this was all about her. He couldn’t have cared less about his own sexual pleasure, he was drawing pleasure from the soft purring moans she made at his touch.

 

Spurred on by her sounds and her body’s own demonstrated need, his busy fingers slipped between her folds and found her already wet with arousal for him. “You’re so wet for me, Sweetheart.” He gently moved two fingers down, teasing over her sensitive clit on their way to slip inside her core. He pressed those fingers inside her and felt her body stretch and give way to him. With an achingly slow rhythm, he moved them in and out of her, alternating between pressing deeply into her and then coming teasingly close to withdrawing from her. He moved then finally upwards to find that hardened nub where he began moving his soaked fingers in sweet slow circles.

 

“Ah … ah yes,” she gasped out as she gently trembled.

 

“That’s it Rey. Just feel.” He worked her expertly, slow circles that built in pressure and speed until she was trembling against him. His other arm wrapped around her, supporting her more as he felt her legs tremble. His strong arm held her against him, his body keenly aware of the feeling of her body’s movements and how she rubbed against his cock. Still, his mind was focused on one thing and one thing only.

 

“Oh yes, Ben. Fuck yes. Please. Don’t stop,” she begged.

 

“Oh I have no intention of stopping, Rey, not till you’re screaming my name again,” he muttered into her ear as he worked her clit with faster circles, adding more pressure. His mouth lowered to kiss, bite and suck on her neck as he worked her, adding more sensations to her already swimming mind.

 

She reached back to grasp his neck for purchase as she felt her legs begin to shake and get weak, trembling as her pleasure grew higher and higher inside her. Climbing to its peak. 

 

“Come for me Rey. Come for me,” he groaned into her ear, knowing she needed precious little to send her crashing over the edge.

Her breath was ragged, the sounds he drew from her were strained and guttural. Her hips bucked with need against his fingers. She arched her back and felt her climax wash over her as she came hard and fast. “BEN!” she cried out as she felt her knees go weak. 

 

His strong arm continued holding her against him, while his other gently eased out of her folds. 

 

“That’s my good girl,” he cooed to her as the water washed over them. His hand rose and he slipped his fingers, glistening with her arousal, between his own lips to taste her. He let out a groan at the taste, his eyes closing in pleasure.

 

Her head lolled to the side and tilted to look up at him through a haze of pleasure. The simple act of his fingers delivering her sweetness to his mouth and the pleasure he so clearly felt from it only intensified what she was already feeling. She reached up and pulled his head down to her to kiss him tenderly. She was tentative as her tongue slipped between his lips to kiss him deeply and taste herself in his mouth. That was a first for her, but it felt right.

 

=============================== 

 

They had finished their shower with Ben refusing Rey’s advances telling her that the shower was solely for her benefit and her grinning up to him telling him that he was far too good to her. He gently dried her off, slowly caressing her body as he did, and pressing soft kisses all over her body. They then got dressed and headed back to her dorm so she could change her clothes and head out for their day of shopping. 

 

Their first stop was one of the major thrift stores in town. A place Benjamin Organa Solo had never stepped foot in in his life. He parked his car and walked in with Rey, looking around and was accosted by the fact that this place was a bit of organized chaos. It was just one big open area with racks everywhere of all kinds of things all over the place and no departments or salespeople whatsoever. He suddenly realized - Jesus was he a privileged asshole. Of course, that’s what this would be like. This is where people came to buy things that people like him gave away as charity. 

 

Ben you are a fucking dick. There are so many people barely making it and you have really never thought about them outside of your mother’s charity work. You really haven’t thought of what that means. You’ve been too busy feeling sorry for yourself. Well it was time for all of that to change.

 

Rey, however, was eager to get to shopping and walked with him, after slipping her hand in his, towards the racks where the coats were and smiled to him. 

 

“Well here they are. Looks like they actually have several coats in. I’m really surprised, I thought they’d be picked through given that it’s October. That’s why I didn’t come in, well that and I’m broke, but I guess not.” She grinned.

 

He walked over with her and nodded. “That’s great.” He started looking through as well. He was surprised to find that several of the coats were actually of decent design. He walked around to the other side of the rack as he spied something and pulled it out. A black three-quarter puffer coat with a faux-fur lined hood. North Face. It looked like it would be Rey’s size. Well would she balk? North Face was actually a really good line of coats. He chuckled to himself. 

 

“Hey I think I found something really good but well, it’s a really good line of coats and I don’t want to insult you by getting you something that’s too nice.” He smirked at her.

 

She looked up at him and rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to be a dick you know. Remember we talked about that condescending thing.” 

 

He nodded “Ah yes, you’re right. My bad. Apologies. But seriously. Come over here and try this on. I think this is your size and it’s actually really nice and you’ll like it.” 

 

She walked around the rack and looked at the coat skeptically. “That does look nice. Really nice.” She looked up at him as he pulled it off the hangar and held it up for her to slip on.

 

She tugged off her old coat and slipped it on. It was a perfect fit.

 

“I wonder why anyone would give this away?” she asked.

 

He was staring at it and shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe it has some kind of imperfection or something or maybe it just didn’t fit them right or something. Maybe they just got sick of it.” 

 

Rey looked at the lining of the coat and she paused. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

 

“What is it?” he asked.

 

“There’s a tear in the lining of the coat,” she said simply.

 

“So?” he asked.

 

“I mean could someone be so fucking pretentious that they gave a coat away for a tear in the lining?” she asked. “All you need to do is sew it.” 

 

He paused “Man, I don’t know. But their loss is your gain I guess.” He wondered though if he knew anyone of his society acquaintances that might just be that way. Again, he’d never thought about it before. 

 

“Yeah, you’re right. This coat is great. It’s twenty-five dollars. I could definitely not afford that right now.” She grinned up at him. “Thank you, Ben.” 

 

He nodded to her and it boggled his mind the idea that putting out twenty-five dollars at once right now would be too much for someone, that it would be too much for her made his heart clench. “See I told you we’d find you something. I’m gonna look around some more. I’ve never been in here before.” 

 

She nodded. “Okay. Yeah, I’m gonna see if I can find a sweater or two. They’re always a good bargain.” 

 

He walked around the place boggled with the idea that she got by on so little when he had so much. He wanted to scoop her up and take her under his wing and take care of her. He cared about her. Fuck he more than cared about her; he was sure he was falling in love with her. He wanted to take her away from her life of want and give her everything. But he also knew she was a proud and independent woman and he couldn’t be seen to be trying to take that independence away from her. What was he supposed to do? 

 

He paused then in the shoe department. There were several pairs of boots. He thought of her boots that were falling apart at the seams. She needed a new pair. He saw several pair that he knew she’d like. He knew they agreed on the coat but would offering to get the boots be a step too far? He didn’t want to start a fight. 

 

He walked over to her and smiled. “Any luck?” he asked curiously.

 

“Yeah I found these two nice sweaters. They’re pretty dressy so they’ll be nice if some cute guy ever asks me to go out with him again,” she teased.

 

“Oh, you have some cute guy you’re going out with?” he asked curiously.

 

She shoved him with a laugh. “Yeah, you, dummy.” 

 

“Me? Really? Wow thanks.” He laughed. “Yeah those are nice. I love the burgundy one. That color will look great on you. Really bring out your eyes.” 

 

She smiled at him. 

 

“Hey I saw something over on the other side of the store I wanted to show you but I didn’t want you to get mad at me. It’s just I noticed something and I thought of something you could use and I wanted to help.” He met her gaze.

 

“Ben, I said you could get the coat,” she said coolly.

 

“Just come look, okay?” he asked gently.

 

“Fine,” she said with resignation as she walked with him over to the shoe section.

 

He pointed to the three pairs of boots that he saw that he was sure she’d like.

 

“I just think those would be great that’s all, I mean if they’re your size and well they’re not much and so what’s the harm?” he asked.

 

“So, you’ve noticed my boots huh?” she asked and sighed.

 

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I just, I notice everything about you, Rey. Every detail,” he admitted. 

 

“But you have to know that I am not wanting to help you out of pity or charity. I adore you, I know it’s fast and I know it may be a bit much and I’m sorry for that but just … just let me do this. Just let me help. Not because you aren’t independent and not because you can’t do things for yourself but because I care about you and I want you to be warm. I want you to be toasty and comfortable on campus; maybe I’m selfish because I want you to feel me with you even when I’m not,” he blurted out. 

 

She watched him then, her hazel eyes studying him closely, taking in all that he said. She felt conflicted and unsure, but at the same time she felt a sweet and soothing feeling inside her. She felt this incredible feeling of comfort and safety. A feeling like she’d never known. His words were so sincere and she could see the truth in his eyes. 

 

She smiled at him gently then and nodded. “Alright, Ben. I accept.” But in her mind, she also wondered how far this would go. How often would he want to do this for her? Would he want to do this for her all the time? She didn’t know if she could live with that. Rey tried to put those thoughts out of her mind for now and just enjoy the moment for what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- as always i don't know what i would do without her 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.
> 
> i will keep updating on either thursday or friday of each week. have a great week my lovelies. kisses.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben both have important conversations with the people in their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies, updating early this week. I hope you enjoy !!

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/45589390261/in/dateposted-public/)

Ben grumbled to himself as he heard the ringtone on his phone and sat up in his bed. Leave it to her to call this early on a Saturday morning. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and grabbed his phone.

 

“Hello,” he rasped out in a sleepy voice.

 

“Oh did I catch you asleep? I thought you went for a run in the morning, Ben.” Leia said gently.

 

“I usually do, but I tend to take Sundays off to sleep in, Mother,” he all but groaned.

 

“Oh. Well. I’m sorry for waking you up. I can call back later,” she said in a contrite tone.

 

“No, no, don’t bother. I’m awake now. What do you want?” he asked trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.

 

“Well I was just … hoping that maybe we could have breakfast this morning. I haven’t seen you in a while and well, I missed you and that just seems silly given that we’re so close to one another.” He could hear the pleading tone in her voice and it made him feel like shit. 

 

“Sure, Mom, okay. Where?” He sighed, already exhausted at the prospect.

 

“Why don’t you come over to the house?” she asked, her voice brightening.

 

He sighed, Jesus, could this get worse? “Alright, I’ll be there in what, an hour—is that okay?” 

 

“That’d be perfect, Ben. I’ll see you then.” 

 

His mother’s house was an exceptionally large, old New England manor home, filled from top to bottom with priceless antiques, paintings, and rugs. He always felt somewhat uncomfortable returning there. He always thought of it as his mother’s house. Not his house, even though it was the house that he grew up in. This was the house in which he remembered being told not to run too fast, to be careful, the house where he was always getting into trouble in for breaking something, for being too loud, too messy.

 

He pulled down the long drive and parked in the round-about at the front of the manor, hopped up and stepped to the front double doors only to have them opened by Lor, their butler. Lor was a tall man with bright blue eyes and short cropped silver hair and a well-trimmed silver beard. He had been old when he was a kid and he was old now; he seemed to always be the same age. It was creepy and weird. 

 

“Hello Master Benjamin. Your mother is in the breakfast room waiting for you; she has things already set out.” 

 

“Thank you, Lor,” he said, slipping off his coat.

 

“I’ll take that for you, Master Benjamin.” He held his arm out.

 

Ben paused and handed him his jacket. “Thank you.” 

 

Ben walked through the house, his eyes turning over everything, memories accosting him as he did. This was why he didn’t come home often. It was so uncomfortable for him. He usually preferred to meet with his mother at her office or a restaurant. That was easier for him. 

 

He walked into the breakfast room and smiled seeing his mother sitting there. 

 

“Hello, Mother.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

 

“Ben. It’s so good to see you. You look wonderful.” She smiled up at him. 

 

Leia Organa Solo was a beautiful woman who had aged wonderfully, she was regal and elegant. Today she wore a comfortable Balenciaga cashmere sweater, Armani slacks and the signature Chanel flats and around her neck and at her ears were tasteful, lovely pearls. Her long, dark hair, with just a touch of grey, was done up in an elegant chain braid wrapped around her head. 

 

“You look beautiful as always.” He eased into the seat beside her. “I was surprised to receive the invitation to breakfast. This is unusual for you; you’re usually too busy for such things,” he said in a cool tone. 

 

“Now, dear, don’t start already,” she said gently. “Please pour yourself some coffee and have some of the fruit; it’s really delicious.” 

 

“Well, I’m not being dishonest. When was the last time you had time to share a personal meal with me at home? I honestly can’t remember. Maybe it was our attempt at a Seder that got interrupted with several business calls because you refused to turn your phone off?” he said with a sigh as he poured himself some coffee and took a deep sip. 

 

“Ben, I’m sorry. We’ve never been terribly religious, but you know I try. I suppose I’m might nearly an atheist now but I do still try to keep up our traditions.” She shrugged. “You do know I love you and I care about you. It just seems that something is always interrupting our time together, things are always coming up.” She reached to touch his arm.

 

“Yes. I know, Mother. It is always been that was for as long as I can remember. It’s always something,” he said in a resigned tone.

 

She sipped her coffee and began to eat some of her breakfast as she looked at him. “But like I said, you’re looking very well. Something must be agreeing with you. You look very flush with health. Last I saw you in my office, what was it two months ago? You looked exhausted and pale.” 

 

“Well things change,” he said simply. “Sometimes even for the better.” 

 

She nodded gently and sipped her coffee some more. “Well is it anything in particular? Something happening in your class? How is Amilyn treating you?”  
Ben sipped his coffee and ate some of the fruit he had plated up. “Well she’s wonderful, as usual. Encouraging, supportive. She’s an excellent guide. But she’s being equally hard on me. I really feel like I couldn’t have been placed with a better professor,” he said casually, returning back to the fruit. “She’s not showing me any favoritism, given our family’s friendship.”

 

“Well, that’s wonderful,” she replied and took another sip of coffee, turning to look at him. “Snoke did give me some blowback when I placed you with her as her TA. As head of the English department, he said it would be questionable considering our family’s connections. But I over-ruled him and assured him she would be firm with you and show no favoritism.” 

 

“He’s always had it out for you, Mom, and he’s always been less that pleasant with me. You know he wants your job,” he grumbled.

 

“Yes I know that, dear, but I know how to handle him. However, I also try not to antagonize him, as he does supervise your department. We don’t need to make an overt enemy of him. I try to keep things neutral when dealing with him. He may have it out for me, but if I make it clear he doesn’t ruffle my feathers, I feel like it’s always a victory.” She patted his hand.

 

“Okay, I guess that’s a good way to handle him but I can’t stand the old creep.” 

 

“I know, Ben, I know.” She smiled and tried to change the subject. “Is there anything else interesting happening in your life that you’d like to talk about?” she queried.

 

He paused then and set down his coffee cup gently and turned his body toward her, studying her face. “Did Gwen happen to say something to you?” He clenched his jaw a bit as he studied her.

 

Leia licked her lips, set down her cup, and breathed in deeply. “Well, she may have mentioned that you have taken an interest in a student in your literature class. I thought it might be a good idea if we talked about that. Mother to son.” 

 

“Mother to son is it?” He clenched his jaw even tighter “Is that what this is?” He dropped his hand below the tablecloth and fisted it beside his thigh. “You’re asking about my personal life as my mother? You’re not asking about what I’m doing as the Dean of the University?” 

 

“Ben, I’m just wondering how you are and trying to make sure you’re making good choices with your life, that’s all. Obviously, whatever you’re doing right now is making you happy, you look wonderful. I haven’t seen you look this rested, this healthy, this … vibrant in ages,” she said sincerely. But she continued.  
“I want you to be happy, but I don’t want you to do anything that could be seen as inappropriate.” 

 

“Inappropriate. I see, so this is about you being Dean. Mother there is nothing in the rules governing my position saying I cannot become involved with Rey,” he said flatly.

 

“Rey? Is that her name?” she asked eagerly.

 

“Yes. Yes that’s her name—not that you care. All you care about is me doing something that will blow back on you,” he bit out.

 

“No, that’s not true, I promise you. I meant it when I said I want you to be happy. I truly do. I love you, Ben. I just worry what the other faculty or your peers might think you being involved with an undergraduate student isn’t a wise choice. How that might affect their opinion of you.” 

 

“Well Mother, honestly, I don’t give a fuck!” he barked out.

 

“Benjamin! You watch your tone with me,” she answered back with authority.

 

“Well, _Mom_ , how am I supposed to react to this? You say you want me to be happy out of one side of your face and out of the other you’re telling me you don’t want me to do this. Which is it? I can’t tell what the fuck you want from me.” He thrust his hands into his hair in frustration and stood up.

 

She gently eased herself up from her seat, walked over to him, and rested her hand on his back.

 

He flinched and let out a long breath.

 

“I want you to be happy, but I worry,” Leia said. “I worry you’re not looking at the big picture.” 

 

Ben looked down at her. “Mother, I have thought about it; nothing we’re doing is against the rules and people will have to just adjust to us seeing one another,” he said firmly. “It’s not like it’s some huge scandal.” 

 

“If you have considered it all, and you’re willing to take on what might be some negative attention, if she is worth it, then … well then do it.” She looked up at him. “We’ve always been a family of rebels in our own way,” she chuckled. “Your father never got where he was by doing things the easy way and lord knows, neither did I.” She took his hand and turned him around. “If Rey makes you this happy, then I want this for you.” She gazed up at him. “It won’t be easy. Gwen told me about her background. You know how cruel people can be. But I support you.” 

 

Ben looked down at his mother then and swallowed hard. 

 

“Mom, do you really mean it? Because Rey is amazing. I’ve never felt like this in my life. She makes me so happy. I think I’m falling in love with her. She’s so strong, intelligent and brave. She has this powerful inner light. She’s been through so much. Sometimes she reminds me of you, in that she could face anything and come out on top,” he said sincerely. 

 

Leia smiled up at him and reached up to cup his cheek. “I mean it, Ben. I know I’ve not always been there for you, but I want to try to make things right.” 

 

Ben found himself leaning into her touch, it surprised him completely. “Thank you.” 

 

She took down her hand. “I’d very much like to meet her. I’m having a small get-together here in two weeks. I’d love it if you’d bring her.” She smiled at him.

 

He smiled and leaned into her hand. “I’ll do that. Just email me the details.” 

 

“I love you, Ben,“ she said softly.

 

“I love you too, Mom.” 

 

=========================== 

 

That night at the apartment, Rey, Rose and Finn sat eating Chinese take-out and going over their homework together in companionable silence. Poe sat at the kitchen table going over his papers from work, nibbling on some egg rolls. Finally, Finn came out with it.

 

“So when are you going to tell us what’s really going on with Solo? I mean you were hella vague about the date this past weekend and I’m trying to figure out why.” He just stared at her.

 

Poe shook his head and took a sip of his beer, knowing this wasn’t going to go well. He tried to tell Finn to just let Rey talk to them when she was ready, but Finn rarely listened when he felt passionately about something.

 

Rose looked at Finn and glared. “Maybe she just wasn’t ready to go into detail, Finn.” 

 

Rey just looked between them. “I don’t know, I just, I’m not quite sure how to articulate what is going on between us yet. I just know that we had a really good time, we fooled around and it was good.” 

 

Finn narrowed his eyes then “He didn’t pressure you or anything did he?” 

 

Rey glared at him “Oh for fuck’s sake, what am I, a child? You know I can take care of myself.” 

 

He sighed “I know, I just don’t like him. He’s what, 28 and your TA. Is he putting undue pressure on you? I mean this whole thing makes me uncomfortable,” he grumbled.

 

Rose sighed “Well this isn’t _about_ you Finn, it’s about Rey and what she wants.” 

Rey shook her head “Look, Finn, He’s not putting any _undue pressure_ on me.” She made air quotes. “He’s not like that,” she sighed. “I really like him and I had a really good time with him okay, I just don’t know that I’m ready to talk about things in detail.” 

“That’s just bullshit, Rey,” he said, sounding almost pissed. 

Poe called over, “Whoa babe, that’s harsh.” Poe set down his papers and looked over to where they sit, his eyes serious as he studied them as they talked. 

“What do you mean it’s bullshit?” Rey tossed down her pencil. 

“Rey, you show up with a new coat, new boots after going on one date with this guy and you’re giving us the barest amount of details about it and I’m just…I think you owe us a bit more than that. We’re supposed to be your best friends,” he said with hurt in his voice. 

Rey sat up, looked at him, and sighed. She reached over, took his hands in hers, and squeezed. “Okay, I’m sorry. It’s just. There’s a lot. It’s a lot.” She sighed. “I’m a little overwhelmed and I don’t do overwhelmed.” 

Finn squeezed her hands back, looked at her, saw the emotion in her eyes, and paused. That was definitely unusual for her, and he took a deep breath to calm himself down. 

Well, Peanut, that’s what friends are for, for you to talk to them about things so you don’t feel so overwhelmed.” 

“The new boots and jacket, you know my stuff was falling apart and he just was so concerned. He’s so … sincere. He said he wanted to help me out and get me some stuff as a favor for a friend. I was really against it at first. I told him I can take care of my damn self. I’m independent. But the more we talked, the more I realized it wouldn’t hurt my pride to let him. I know it sounds nuts, but he was so sincere in his offer, and so damn sweet about it, I said okay.” 

“Damn, that is absolutely not like you but I guess if you were okay with it I say more power to you, I mean it’s not like he’s going to miss the money.” Rose shrugged. 

Finn sat there with a frown on his face. “I don’t like it. I don’t like the idea of him trying to buy your affection.” 

Rey sighed. “He’s not buying my affection, Finn. For your information he already has it,” she huffed. “ He doesn’t have to buy me a thing. I already like him. I really really like him.” She paused. “I feel this major connection with him. I actually told him most stuff about my past and it was good. He didn’t act all sorry for me or anything. He was understanding. Believe it or not, he’s had a pretty shitty time of it in his life, too. I know, I know that sounds hard to believe, given his money and status but he has. He’s family is pretty fucked up.” She shrugged. 

Finn looked at her “You did? Rey, that’s … that’s really surprising.” He looked at her questioningly. “So you actually told him about how your parents left you?” he asked, disbelieving. 

Rey paused “Sort of, okay not exactly. I mean I didn’t tell him everything. I wasn’t quite ready for that yet. But I will. I’m beginning to feel really safe with him. But it’s going really fast. That’s the thing. That’s why this is so weird. I don’t get close to people easily, you know that, but with him this is just, I just want to be with him. It’s like this inexplicable connection between us, this force pulling us together.” 

Rose looked at her curiously “You know that sounds a little crazy right?” 

Poe shrugged. “It may not be that crazy, I felt that way about Finn when we first met, like I knew we had a special connection,” Poe retorted to them and looked at Finn. “When we went on our first date babe it was like we knew we were right for each other from the start, if you remember, so don’t act like it’s so crazy you guys. Maybe it took us a while to really hook up but still.” 

Finn considered his words but still furrowed his brows. This was different. This was Rey. 

Rey smiled over to Poe, who she knew was a romantic, but then she looked to Rose and Finn. “Yeah I know what you two might think it’s a bit crazy though so why do you think I didn’t want to just come out and say that.” She was quiet a long moment and looked between them and the said a little sheepishly, “I slept at his place Friday night.” 

Roses eyes widened “You what?” she asked loudly. 

Finn was on his feet. “You slept at his place? Rey it was your first date and man, you don’t ever sleep at guy’s places. Like that is major.” He paced around the room, walking over to where Poe was sitting and grabbing Poe’s beer and taking a swig. 

Poe looked up at him and said softly, “You know you can get your own out of the fridge, babe.” 

“I know, I know.” Rey covered her face. “I slept with him. I mean as in sleep. We fooled around, we actually didn’t go all the way, and then he asked me to stay and I said yes. It was,” she paused and swallowed, feeling emotion rising in her throat, “Sleeping in his arms, it was really beautiful.” She shook her head. 

“Damn, Rey. It sounds like you’ve already seriously fallen for this guy,” Rose said surprised. 

Finn just looked at her, walked back over, and stood next to where she was sitting on the sofa, blinking. He was stunned and very, very worried. “Rey, is that true?” 

"Yeah. Yeah I think it is. And I just don’t want to get hurt because I’m falling so deep down this rabbit hole now. I know he really likes me, too. I just don’t know what’s going to happen. We come from such different worlds. He’s a TA and I’m an undergrad. He’s from a high society family and I’m an orphan. He’s loaded and I’m penniless. What if he just decides I’m not good enough?” she asked softly. 

Rose shook her head. “No way, he won’t do that. Rey you’re amazing. If he thought that, he’d never have gotten involved with you in the first place. You’re a great judge of character, Rey. You do not let people close to you who are assholes or players. You would never get close to someone who was a liar or a user. This guy has got to be the real deal. Don’t be afraid. Let yourself be happy,” she said with a smile and reached over and squeezed her arm. 

Finn touched her shoulder gently “Rey, you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known in my life. You’re strong, intelligent, kind, resilient, tenacious. You also have an incredibly tender heart under all that toughness. He’d be the luckiest man in the world to have you in his life.” Finn sat back down on the sofa beside her. 

Rey smiled gently. “Thanks Finn, I just wish I could remember all that.” She sighed and then she looked up at them. Finn and Rose leaned in and they all hugged each other and she then pulled herself up. 

“Ben is pretty amazing, too. I know, it’s pretty crazy, I find myself thinking about him all the time and I want to be with him more than I’ve ever wanted anything. And that’s what really scares me. But for once in my life, I’m going to let myself hope for the best. I’m going to believe in something good. I’m going to believe in Ben Solo.” 

Finn looked at her and smiled “You know Rey, it’s wonderful to see you embracing life like this. Especially for someone who told me love was a fool’s pursuit when Poe and I finally got together.” 

Rey smirked and shoved at him “Shut up you idiot.” 

Rose watched the two of them and smiled, having gone back to eating her Chinese food. 

Poe watched them as well with a small smile on his face. 

Finn just shook his head and laughed. “I will tell you this Rey, and I mean it, with all the love in my heart, if he fucks you over, powerful family, TA or not, I will kill him.” 

Rey hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. “I know you will and I love you for it.” 

========================== 

Time went by too slowly as Ben and Rey were once again thrust into the everyday rhythm of their lives. Work, classes, studies, all things that kept them apart. They facetimed on the phone at night and of course they did manage to make time to text one another regularly, however. They slipped in good morning texts, good night texts, how are you texts and even teasing sensual texts throughout the day when she was in class and when she knew he likely was in lecture. 

To Ben  
From Rey 

I’m not wearing any panties. 

To Rey  
From Ben 

Well that sounds intriguing. Though, are you wearing a skirt? That would make this so much more interesting. 

To Ben  
From Rey 

You know I don’t wear skirts. 

_To Rey  
From Ben_

Oh well. You’ll have to do better than that Miss Kenobi. Where are you? 

To Ben  
From Rey 

I just got out of Advanced Physics, I’m heading to grab a bite and then head back to read more Pygmalion and Galatea for our tutoring session tomorrow. 

To Rey  
From Ben 

Well I want you to do something for me Miss Kenobi. 

To Ben  
From Rey 

What’s that Mr. Solo? 

To Rey  
From Ben 

I want you to come over to the English building. I have something very important I need to talk to you about that can’t wait for our tutoring session tomorrow. 

To Ben  
From Rey 

Are you being serious right now or is this some kind of game? 

To Rey  
From Ben 

Oh I’m being very serious Miss Kenobi. I expect to see you in my office in no less than fifteen minutes. 

To Ben  
From Rey 

Yes Sir. 

When she called him Sir he felt it all the way down to his cock, that had suddenly become rock hard. He couldn’t wait to see her and implement his plan. 

Rey stared down at her phone and shook her head. Her heart was fluttering in her chest. She couldn’t shake the feeling that this was some kind of game he was playing with her. This whole Miss Kenobi thing had her inordinately turned on. She had already been looking forward to seeing him tomorrow at her tutoring session. Not spending time with him the past several days had been awful. She couldn’t believe how much she had missed him, but they were both so busy and seeing him in class didn’t count. That was almost torture, watching him sitting down at the front of the class while Professor Holdo lectured. Speaking briefly with him before she had to get to her next class didn’t do the trick. 

She quickly made her way across campus, finding herself growing wet as she did. What did he have planned for her? She couldn’t wait to be alone with him. But seeing him in his office in the English department. What could possibly happen and couldn’t they get in trouble? 

She walked down the halls and came to his door and knocked. “Mr. Solo? I was wondering if you could help me with some questions I had about class?” she asked and peeked in. 

"Ah Miss Kenobi, please come in.” Ben stood and walked over to the door and slowly closed it behind her and quietly locked it. He looked down at her with a wolfish expression. He licked his lips, grabbed her around the waist, tugged her to him and kissed her ravenously. 

Rey let out a little squeak, her backpack slipping off her shoulder as her hands raised to wrap around his neck. She tried to grasp for balance as she returned his hungry kiss. Her hands thrusting up into his hair and tugging. 

He pressed her body against his as his hands roamed all over hers, reaching down to grasp her ass and squeeze as he panted against her. His mouth searched over her neck kissing and licking and nipping. “I’ve missed you so much I feel like I’m going fucking insane,” he whispered. 

“I miss you, too,” she purred out as he kissed her but seemed to get a hold of himself suddenly. 

“Now.” He grasped her by the shoulders and held her at arm’s length. “About that serious discussion I wished to have with you. I need you to do something for me, Miss Kenobi,” he said as he straightened himself up to his full height and cleared his throat and sorted his hair. 

“Oh, and what is that Mr. Solo?” She grinned up at him. 

"I need you to take off those jeans and show me that pretty pussy of yours that you so blatantly teased me about just a few minutes ago,” he said in a low voice that was nearly a growl. “Sit in that chair over there.” He pointed. 

He released her from his grasp and walked back around behind his desk. “Pull the chair back so I can see you. I want you to show me that very pretty pink pussy of yours Miss Kenobi, since you were so keen to tease me about it. Hrrm?” He grinned at her. 

"Well. Mr. Solo. If you insist.” She smirked at him, slipped off her coat, bent down and swiftly unbuckled her boots and kicked them off and tugged off her jeans. She stood there naked from the waist down and sauntered over to the chair and sat down and wickedly placed one leg over the arm, spreading herself wide for him. “How’s that Mr. Solo, do you like what you see?” 

Ben was so hard he thought he was going to burst out of his pants right then and there. He wasn’t sure she was going to do it. He was really just teasing her, playing a little game, but he should have realized his wild Rey would be up for almost anything. 

“Oh fuck yes Miss Kenobi, you have the most perfect pussy I’ve ever seen. Now. I want you to touch yourself for me,” he said in a low breathy voice as he moved to the front of his desk and sat back on the edge. He wanted nothing between them but open space. 

_She quirked up a brow at that. “Um … Oh. Well.” She paused a moment as if contemplating and then bit down on her lower lip and tilted her head. “Alright then Sir.”_

When she said Sir he felt a jolt right through his cock. He ran his hand over himself, hard as a rock, as he watched her. “Not ‘alright then, Sir’, simply ‘Yes Sir’” he corrected with a sensually stern tone. 

“Yes Sir,” she corrected herself, feeling herself grow wetter, her eyes remaining on his as she moved her hand down and slipped her fingers through her wetness. She was soaked. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. This was so wild. So dangerous. They were playing with fire doing something like this. In his office, in the English department. If they were caught who knows the kind of disciplinary action they could face but something about knowing that made this all the more exciting. 

She felt her breath come more quickly and she grew even wetter as she began to move her fingers over her clit in gentle slow strokes. She licked her lips slowly as she did. Her eyes locked on his. 

Ben’s eyes were completely focused on hers. He wanted to pull his cock out and jerk off, but knew he couldn’t. He wanted to focus on her. He darted his eyes down to watch her fingers dance over her beautiful wet core, skillfully working her beautiful clit. She was dripping wet and all he could think of doing was going over there and worshiping her and devouring her but no, he wanted this. He wanted to watch her pleasure herself for him. Doing this all for him. 

Rey moved more quickly, she always knew what she liked. Two fingers, swift circles. Then she began to pump those two fingers into herself over and over, pushing deeper, as deep as she could while her hips rotated and pushed up to meet them. She was letting out soft sounds, trying to be as quiet as she could, her breathing turning into soft pants. Her fingers returned to her clit again, working in quick circles over and over, working her higher and higher, exactly as she needed, just what she liked. It wouldn’t take long. Her head threw back. Her body tightened. 

He watched her, it was nothing short of beautiful artistry happening in front of him. Some deliciously sensual performance art. He’d never seen anything more seductive, more purely erotic and more beautiful in all his life and he realized in the same moment that this woman was his. His Rey and she was doing this for him. To please him and he knew he was the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. 

“You’re such a good girl Sweetheart, keep going,” he breathed out. 

She raised her left hand to her mouth and bit down on it to keep from crying out as her body tightened, her eyes clenched shut, her back bowed up off the chair as her orgasm hit her and she so came hard she nearly saw stars behind her eyes . She released her hand and eyes opened and she met his gaze and she slowly smiled at him. The expression on her face was pure pleasure and pure pride. 

“Jesus fuck, Rey. I didn’t think you could get any sexier,” he said softly. 

“Well I’m glad I could please you Sir,” she said in a low tone as she slowly began to catch her breath and closed her legs. 

“You know, you shouldn’t keep teasing me like that or I'll never let you out of this office,” he growled. 

“Well, where’s the fun if I don’t do that?” She chuckled, got up, and slowly pulled on her jeans. 

“Rey,” he said gently as he watched her start to get dressed. “We need to do something about this not seeing each other in person for four days at a time other than class. It really sucks.” 

She zipped up her pants and nodded “Yeah, I know, but we both have so much shit going on.” She shrugged. “But I don’t work on Tuesdays, so I usually just study in my dorm from like 3pm on.” 

He stood up and walked over to her. “How about I pick you up and you can come over to my place and we have dinner and you can study there?” 

She looked up at him into those beautiful brown eyes that she’s come to love gazing into. “Yeah, that sounds great.” She hugged him tightly resting her head on his chest. “I didn’t think I could miss someone as much as I miss you, especially someone that I have only really started to get close to,” she admitted. 

He held her tightly in return. “Me either, but I think we both know what we have between us is … special, Rey.” 

She was silent for a long moment and just nodded, not speaking. Finally she replied, “I do, too.” 

After she left the office, he walked over to the chair and noticed the small pool of wetness there. He smiled thinking about it, but also knew he had to clean it up. He walked and got several napkins but as he reached down to wipe it up he paused then reached his empty hand down, swept some of the wetness onto his finger and brought it to his lips and tasted her. He groaned softly and smiled, then wiped it up. That small taste would get him through. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading my dears. i appreciate you all so much. kudos and comments give me life !! 
> 
>  
> 
> thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- as always i don't know what i would do without her 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their final study session, Ben shares dark family secrets with Rey, which draws them closer together than ever before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies. I'm so happy to be posting another chapter. I hope you enjoy the update. Our two love birds are moving along quite nicely and this chapter has them taking a big step in their relationship.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/45128327131/in/dateposted-public/)

Like always, Rey and Ben met at the café for their tutoring session. He arrived before her, making sure to have her cappuccino waiting for her just as she liked it. She smiled warmly at him as she approached what she started to think of as their table and came around to her seat. She pulled off her very comfortable and very warm new coat and placed it on the empty chair.

 

“Hi, you,” she said with a warm smile. She itched to lean down and kiss him, but couldn’t quite decide whether that would be appropriate to do here, in the open. They hadn’t really had that discussion yet about public displays of affection so she refrained from doing so.

 

Ben watched her walk in, wearing the coat he bought her and the boots as well, and felt a swell of protectiveness and joy wash over him. Seeing her like that, taken care of, knowing he’d had a hand in that, that those were things he’d given her, seeing her look so happy and content wearing them, it made him feel contented and also, possessive.

 

“Hi yourself. You look beautiful,” he said gently. 

 

“Thank you,” she replied. “So do you.” She specifically wore the burgundy sweater he said he liked and a nice pair of jeans. She reached for her cup and took a sip of her drink. 

 

He, of course, was wearing some of his usual designer clothing, a finely tailored white dress shirt, grey tweed sports coat, black jeans, black Italian leather shoes. His scarf and long wool coat were on the chair beside him. 

 

“Well thank you. I’m glad you approve. I’m glad the coat is working out for you,” he commented as he leaned back and sipped his black coffee.

 

“Yeah. I love it. It’s perfect. It’s been keeping me nice and toasty. Thank you again.” She reached over and patted it. “The boots are great too.” 

 

“My pleasure,” he said casually and then looked down at his books. “I guess we should get started. I know things have been really interesting for us,” he chuckled gently and winked, his eyes sparkling with playfulness. “But we don’t want to forget this part of things, do we?” 

 

She chuckled at his use of the word interesting, knowing very well what he was alluding to, especially after their little assignation in his office yesterday “Yes, you’re absolutely right. This next paper will be the last one I need to turn in for extra credit to bring up my grade, so I want to make sure I hit it out of the park.” She pulled out her books and notes as well. 

 

Ben smiled at her, his eyes lingering on hers, unable to keep himself from staring, his gaze moving from her eyes to her lips and back up. “Exactly right,” he replied. “So. Pygmalion and Galatea. What did you think of the myth?” 

 

“Well I thought it was a little fucked up,” she blurted out with a shrug.

 

Ben blinked a bit, taken aback. “Really? Many people find this story to be a fascinating one, some even find the love story between Pygmalion and Galatea a lovely one.” 

 

Rey shook her head. “Well I certainly don’t. I mean, let’s break this down. Okay you have a guy who finds women in general to be basically inferior creatures so he swears off them right? I mean let’s start there. That’s just repulsive. So he spends his time sculpting what he believes will be the perfect woman. He works and works and sculpts the most beautiful woman ever and becomes so enamored with his own creation he falls in love with it. How egotistical is that?” 

 

Ben paused a moment and considered her words. “I guess when you put it that way, I can see your point. He creates his own masterpiece and then falls in love with it, so in a way he’s falling in love with himself.” 

 

Rey nods and sips her drink. “Exactly. That’s exactly my point. How is that love? If he’s falling in love with the woman he’s created, how is that falling in love with a woman at all? She’s not even real. She’s a creation of his own mind and hand.” 

 

Ben sat back, listening to her. “Go on, I’m sure you have more to say about this.” 

 

Rey nodded. “So Aphrodite, who you know isn’t my favorite, is sooooo moved by his love for this sculpture that she decides to bring it to life so the man can be with her. Of course Aphrodite would be impressed by some dude who’s obsessed with his own magnificence and call it love. She’s just a piece of work.” She rolled her eyes. 

 

“Now, now, perhaps Aphrodite saw something that could truly be love in the works, Rey?” Ben suggested with a smirk.

 

“Well I don’t know how anyone could possibly see that, considering how this whole thing started. With a guy who was a total misogynist who thought women were so unworthy he had to sculpt one himself to fall in love with,” she snarked.

 

He held up his hands in an ‘I surrender’ posture “Okay, okay, I take your point.” He had to stifle his laughter. His Rey was certainly a passionate woman and when she felt something, she felt it deeply. He adored her fire and her fervor about things. 

 

“So anyway, the statue comes alive and he can’t believe it, he waffles between believing whether she’s alive or not until he finally accepts it. Supposedly Galatea actually sincerely falls in love with him, just as he loves her, truly and deeply, Aphrodite blesses the union, they have a son and apparently they live happily ever after.” She shook her head.

 

“But you’re not terribly happy with that ending are you?” he asked.

 

“No. No I’m not. How can a happy ending come out of that kind of beginning? How can that be love?” she asked. “He didn’t want a real woman, he wanted a fantasy, a mirage, a woman of his own making that was perfect. No woman is perfect. No person is perfect,” she said simply. “Plus the guy was a total asshole.” 

 

“Yes, yes, I see your point, he was.” Ben nodded. “And you’re absolutely right.” He watched her closely. “I think it’s important to remember that in relationships, people are fallible.” 

 

She nodded. “Yeah. People make mistakes.” She looked into his eyes.

 

“I think sometimes it’s easier to forgive certain people than others,” he said with a shake of his head, thinking of his father.

 

Rey thought back to her parents and the pain in her heart at how they abandoned her, her anger at Plutt and how he abused her. “Yeah, I think you’re right. I think it all depends, maybe.” She considered.

 

Ben paused. “I hope if I ever do anything to upset you, you’d tell me. That we could talk it through.” 

 

She nodded. “I’ll try. I’m not known for being the best communicator,” she admitted. “Sometimes when things really bother me, I just shut down.” 

 

Ben chuckled. “Me too, but this, what we have, it’s definitely worth working at, worth trying to work at isn’t it?” Ben knew that there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do or give to make this work.

 

Rey nodded. “It definitely is.” She felt in her heart that this was more special and precious to her than anything she’d ever had in her life before. 

 

Ben paused. “Man, we definitely got off track from mythology didn’t we?” He smiled at her gently.

 

“Yeah, but I think that’s okay given this is our last ‘official’ session.” She made air quotes with her fingers.

 

“I supposed you’re right,” he answered. “But getting back to it, I think your take about the misogyny rife within this tale is a very interesting one. Is that the direction you plan to go in with your paper you’re going to submit to Professor Holdo?” 

 

She nodded “Yes, that and the idea that expectations of perfection in relationships doom them to failure, at least that’s my opinion, not necessarily what the myth states” she said as she looked into his eyes.

 

He smiled at her. “That’s a very wise statement. Especially that last part. I hope you know I subscribe to that personally. I’m a big believer in the fact that everyone has flaws and imperfections.” He itched to reach over and take her hand. To hold it in his. To touch her skin. To kiss her lips.

 

“I’m glad to hear that. I think it’s important for people to recognize that. To be flexible and try to give people room to adjust to things as they evolve.” She watched him with a small smile. 

 

He realized he wanted to say something very important to her, fuck the mythology. 

 

“Rey,” he said plainly. “I need you to know. I’m not seeing anyone but you. I don’t want to see anyone but you,” he blurted it out. “I want to make this official. What we have between us. I hope you feel the same way as I do.” 

 

She blinked and looked at him with surprise at the fervency his declaration. She studied the earnestness of his face. He was so handsome and so adorable. He looked at her with those big brown eyes so expectant and so filled with affection and need.

 

“Um … I …” She paused. “I do. Feel the same way. When you say official do you mean like, you want to be my boyfriend?” 

 

“Yes. That’s what I mean. And I don’t want to have to hide that we’re together,” he said simply.

 

She smiled a slow smile that spread across her face. “Even though, well, given our situation and everything? With your position and mine?”

 

He only nodded his head.

 

“I want that too.” She gave him a beaming smile.

 

His heart had been beating a mile a minute in his chest and he felt like he’d been holding his breath the entire time they were discussing this and he finally released that breath in a huge puff of air. 

 

“Oh thank god. If you’d said no I don’t know what I would have done. I think I would have crawled under this table out of embarrassment or something.” He chuckled.

 

She started laughing. “You would not have done that, Ben Solo.” 

 

“I swear to god, I would have.” He smiled at her.

 

He reached his hand over and rested it on the table, palm up for her to put her hand in his. 

 

She looked down at it and then looked around the café for a long moment, realizing what a big deal this was. She knew this was a huge step for them. He was making it public that as her TA, he was involved with her. She was making it known that she was involved with her TA. People might talk. It might be awkward for them. She then looked into his eyes and then rested her smaller hand in his with a gentle smile and squeezed it tightly. 

 

He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it and then released it. 

 

They quietly gathered up their things and walked out of the café, hand in hand, small smiles on their faces at the settled shift in their relationship.

 

========================= 

 

Ben picked up Rey from her dorm later that night. She showed up with a bag in her hand and he smiled at her. He’d asked her to spend the night again and this time she’d come prepared. He got out to help her with her door and she smiled up at him. 

 

“You know you don’t have to do that.” She shook her head.

 

“I most certainly do. You’re a lady and I intend to treat you like one.” He looked down at her with a smile.

 

“Alright,” she said with a soft blush spreading across her freckled cheeks.

 

He helped her into the car and then came back around and drove her through the streets to his townhouse, then helped her back out and they headed in. He helped her with her bag and coat and walked in with a smile. 

 

“I didn’t know if you liked wine, so I got us a few different bottles,” he said as he walked into his kitchen and gestured to them on his island.

 

She followed him and looked. “I’m not really a wine person but I’d be happy to try them.” 

 

“Alright, well let me get the corkscrew and we can have our very own wine tasting.” He grinned at her. “Why don’t you go over to the stereo and put something on. I have plenty on vinyl or you could just put the radio on if you want.” 

 

Rey walked over and smiled “You have an awesome collection of vinyl Ben. I didn’t realize it the last time I was here. I was too busy attacking you.” She laughed.  
  
  
“Well I actually appreciated that.” He grinned at her as he opened the wine.

 

She flipped through his records “Led Zeppelin. The Song Remains the Same. Carol King, Tapestry. James Taylor, Sweet Baby James. Ben these are all ancient.” She smiled and turned and looked at him. 

 

“Yeah lots of them were my Grandfather’s,” he said as he poured the wine.

 

“You mentioned him before, you said he wasn’t a good guy, what did you mean by that?” she asked curiously.

 

“It’s a long story. My mother was adopted by the Organas. She’d never met her birth father. He was a very rich, very powerful man at a young age, and a very intense, very dark man. You may have heard of him. Anakin Skywalker.” 

 

She paused. “Holy shit, he’s your grandfather?” she turned around and looked at him. “Wasn’t he like a seriously shady banker who did some illegal shit?” 

 

“Yep. One and the same. He got very rich and very powerful through investment banking. They said he got rich investing other people’s money. Oh, he made them money, too; along the way he just didn’t tell them he was lining his own pockets with much of it and hiding it off shore in the Caymans.” He walked over to her with a glass of wine. “Of course, back then so much was corrupt, Empire Investments, where he worked, was the most crooked firm out there. They say this guy, Palpatine, who ran the company, had a way of luring young bankers in and turning even the most honest person to their darker impulses.”

 

She put a record on the player, some soft jazz, walked over to him, took the wineglass, and sat with him on the sofa.

 

“Wow, Ben that’s … that’s intense.” She shook her head and took a sip of the red wine. “Oh this is very good.” 

 

“I’m glad you like it.” He nodded and took a deep sip of his own wine and sighed. 

 

“Yeah, well, I never knew him, he died before I was born. He hurt a lot of people by taking their money, he even took some children’s charity money or something, but when the truth came out he was never indicted for it. The rumor was the shame of it all was what caused my grandmother Padme to overdose and die right after giving birth to my mother and uncle. Anakin completely lost his shit when she died and ended up in a psych hospital,” he sighed. 

 

“Fuck, Ben that is so dark.” She reached over and took his hand. 

 

“That’s not the worst of it; he couldn’t care for the babies when he got out so that’s why he gave them up for adoption. When he got out he became this total recluse, didn’t talk to anyone, just went into hiding or some shit. When my Uncle Luke came of age and got his adoption records, he tracked him down and made peace with him. Luke just, I don’t know, he’s always been this hippy zen dude. Somehow he just believed there had to be some good in him and when he finally met him, he convinced Anakin that there was. Anakin made right his wrongs. He used a ton of his fortune to try to pay back the families of the people he’d swindled. He decided that would put what was left of his money in a trust for any grandchildren he might ever have after he died, like this place.” He gestured around him. “He left everything to me.” 

 

“After my Uncle found Anakin, Luke sought my mother out. They were fraternal twins separated at birth. I mean how fucked up is that? That they separated them. My mom said when she met my Uncle it was like coming home. She knew instantly that he was her brother. They were twins after all. They really bonded, but when he finally told her about Anakin being her father, she just couldn’t abide it. She was so ashamed of being a Skywalker by birth that she refused to talk to Anakin, despite what my Uncle said to her about his repentance. My grandfather died soon after that. He had a sudden heart attack. My Uncle said he died of a broken heart because of all his wrongs and because he couldn’t make peace with my mother. Uncle Luke is always being emotionally melodramatic.” Ben took a deep sip of his wine.

 

“My mother never told me he was my grandfather. I found out when I was in my early 20s in college. Some tabloid did an expose on my mother and published her connection to Anakin. A classmate gave me the paper to fuck with me.” He held his glass in his hand, realizing his hands were trembling.  
  
  
“I lost it. I was furious no one told me; embarrassed to be related to him. My Uncle Luke sought me out to talk to me about the truth because I refused to talk to my mother when she tried to apologize to me for not telling me. I felt she’d lied to me all my life. I nearly flunked out of that semester of school.”

 

His thoughts went back to that time in college and how he lost himself in drugs and drinking and how if it wasn’t for Hux he might have even ended up dead. He was in so much pain when he found out about how his mother never told him the truth. The agony of once again being forgotten, being pushed aside and ignored. The momentary embarrassment of being related to that man, but also the fascination of what it would be like to be someone so powerful like Skywalker was. He was so confused and lost.

 

She set down her wine on the coffee table and shook her head. She took his wine out of his hand and set it down and took his hands in hers. “I can’t imagine how painful that must have been, to have been lied to like that by your own mother about the truth of your family.” Rey thought about the truth of her own beginnings and felt a pang of pain in her heart. “Ben, it feels like your family has this dark cloud over it. I’m so sorry.”

 

Ben looked at her. “Oh Rey, things have been so fucked up. You can’t imagine, if I told you everything you wouldn’t even believe it. You would think so much less of me.” His mind whirled thinking of all the darkness that had surrounded him and his family all his life. 

 

She furrowed her brows “What do you mean? Think less of you? It gets worse?” 

 

“Well you remember how I was at lunch about my father? How cold I was when I talked about him. My relationship with him is a disaster Rey. I have barely talked to him in like I don’t know, about nine or ten years.” 

 

Rey’s eyes widened. “Ten years. That’s insane Ben. How could you do that? He’s your father?” She felt some anger rise inside her, he hasn’t talked to him for ten years. Sure maybe his family has problems but to ignore his own father for ten years? At least he has a father.

 

“You don’t understand. That last time I saw him I was being arrested for beating the shit out of him.” He stood up and started to pace around his living room.  
She stood up too “What the fuck!? How could you do something like that?” 

 

“You know how I told you my parents fought a lot? I was only 18, like that’s some kind of excuse.” He shook his head and continued. “They were having one of their massive fights, I was home for winter break and they were going at it. He was half drunk and they were fighting, but he was really saying some awful shit. It was some of their usual shit of course, who was right about whatever, but then it got personal. How she thought she was some special Princess. That he was sick of my mom thinking she was better than him because of her being an Organa. He wanted to make it clear he was a self-made man, he didn’t inherit his money like she did. Just because he came from nothing she was no better than him.” He paused. “I know now he didn’t mean it, they were always going at each other, but …” He ran his hands through his hair.

 

“He made her cry, Rey. I had never seen her just break down like that. She just started bawling. She usually gave as good as she got but this time she just broke down. I felt myself getting angrier and angrier the more he yelled and tore her down. As I watched her sobbing like that I just lost it. I tackled him and started punching him in the face and I didn’t stop. I sort of blacked out. Apparently, our butler had to pull me off him.”  
  
  
He raised his hands and covered his face and rubbed his eyes as emotion overtook him.

 

Rey felt shock waves go through her, thinking of the similarities in the story of Han coming from nothing like she did and Leia having everything like Ben did. It scared her that Han and Leia could fight like that. That Ben could get so angry that he’d do that, but that was a long time ago, right? She tried to put that out of her mind and walked up behind Ben to comfort him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back and continued to listen to the story.

 

“I ended up sitting on the front steps of my house in handcuffs. Lor, our butler, called the cops and the paramedics because I beat my dad so bad. I got arrested. It was a mess. Happy fucking Holidays.” He thrust his fingers through his hair. 

 

Rey squeezed him tighter not quite knowing what to say. What do you say to a revelation like that? All she knew was right now the man she was sure she was falling in love with just cracked himself open to her and spilled out his darkest secrets and deepest pain and she wanted to be there for him so she held him tightly.

 

“He didn’t press charges so it all just went away, but I haven’t really spoken to him since. I mean he’s tried to call, left messages, but I just don’t know what to say. He moved out right away. My mother filed for divorce a month later. The family just imploded. I felt like it was all my fault of course. I mean I suppose I know it wasn’t, they were always a mess, but still after what I did how could I not think it was my fault too.” He swallowed moisture forming in his eyes.

 

“Oh Ben.” She rested her hand on his back and rubbed it softly. 

 

“I told you I had a lot of anger issues growing up. It’s like I have this darkness inside me. I’ve struggled with it all my life. I never want you to see that side of me. I’ve gotten therapy, worked to get it under control now but that still happened. I’m so ashamed.” He hung his head.

 

She took his arm and gently turned him around and looked up to him and reached up, touching his cheek. “I’m so sorry all that happened. I can’t imagine what that was like for you, what it’s all been like for you Ben. Carrying around all that weight inside you. All that hurt and anger for all this time. Pain like that eats you alive.” She knew that better than anyone. 

 

He leaned down and wrapped her in his arms and picked her up off her feet and held her close, pressing his nose into her neck and nuzzling there. “I’ve never told anyone any of this Rey. I’ve never trusted anyone enough,” he murmured into her neck, turning to kiss her softly there, his body trembling gently. 

 

“You’re safe, Ben,” she said gently as she kissed the side of his face, her hands brushing through his hair. “You’re safe.”

 

He moved his hands to gently cup her ass and pull her up to him. He couldn’t have imagined how profoundly her words would affect him and yet, they did. He felt so connected to her, so close to her at this moment and that wasn’t enough. He wanted to be closer.

 

She wrapped her legs around his waist and held onto him, her arms going around his neck tightly.

 

He looked down into her beautiful hazel eyes, studying her closely. He’d never felt this close to anyone in his life. He’d never trusted anyone the way he trusted Rey. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt that he loved this woman. That thought should have frightened him, after all, he saw what relationships could become with his parents, but this was different. He was certain of it.

 

“Let me take you to bed, Rey,” he said softly. “Let me make love to you.” It was putting himself out there once more, but he needed this and he was pretty sure she did as well.

 

She nodded gently “Yes. Please,” she whispered to him. 

 

He walked with her, holding her gently in his arms to his bedroom. He loved having her in his arms. She was so small and being able to just carry her around like this was a very powerful feeling but in this moment, the image was far more that of ritual, of ceremony and it was incredible.

 

It was as if something precious was happening between them, something sacred and holy and they didn’t want to shatter it with teasing, playful words or raw voyeuristic teasing. This time it was something more. Something precious and tender. 

 

He set her down on his bed and prepared to undress her. He walked over and set his glasses down on his night stand and then walked back over and smiled down at her. He slowly, deliberately removed her boots and socks and then stood her back up so he could remove her sweater and bra, gently kissing soft tender worshiping kisses along her skin as he did so, his eyes moving back up to meet hers along the way, as if losing her gaze was something he couldn’t bear to do. Nothing about this was rushed. Every motion, every action was one of slow determination as he savored each revelation of her body. Of course he had seen it before, but this was different. His eyes were adoring her.

 

He lowered himself to his knees, his gaze on hers and unfastened her jeans. He pulled them down along with her panties and pressed his nose into her core and breathed her in like he was breathing in life itself. The scent of her was liberating, it was empowering. It was the scent of heaven. His large hands moved around to grasp her ass and hold her tightly to him as he breathed her in deeply, nuzzling against her beautiful pussy.

 

“You smell so good Sweetheart,” he murmured softly. “I’d wear your scent marking me all the fucking time if I could,” he said with powerful conviction.

 

Rey was trembling all over from his soft touches and gentle kisses, this was so different from the first time they were together in this room, so unlike their playful banter and teasing. This was tender and soft and it made her heart ache with feeling and intensity. It was unlike any experience she’d ever shared with anyone and it was so beautiful to her. 

 

She reached her hands down to thread through his hair as he kneeled before her and massaged his head gently. She loved the sight of him there and the feel of him there. It was such an intimate feeling. There was something amazing about how much he loved her scent.

 

His strong hands gently urged her legs further apart and he pressed his mouth to her. His tongue slipped out from between his lips and between hers, gently lapping at her core as he knelt before her, worshipping her with his mouth. 

 

“So wet for me,” he purred into her as he hungrily delved his tongue into her with slow, long gentle strokes. “You taste so good, so sweet.” He lapped languidly at her, savoring her taste and slowly moving to the sensitive bud to gently swirl over it as he moved back to grasp her hips to hold her in place.

 

“Wet, only for you,” she muttered softly as he tended to her so beautifully. Rey gasped and trembled as her hands clung to his hair while he tasted and teased her. “Ben. Oh Ben that feels so good.” She let out a deep throaty moan. Already he knew her body and her body craved him.

 

It was an intriguing scene and had anyone been there to witness it they would have wept at the beauty and passion of it. The larger form of Ben, bowed before her and fully dressed, worshipping at her sex while she was completely nude, lovely and raw before him. He tended to her, giving her pleasure as if she were the entirety of the universe to him.

 

“Just relax and feel Sweetheart. That’s all you need do,” he murmured into her wet folds, the scent and taste of which threatened to overwhelm him at any point.  
Her head fell back and she pressed her hips forward against his mouth, rocking herself onto him as his chin pressed harder against her opening and his tongue worked more upon her sensitive clit. 

 

“Oh fuck yes,” she moaned out as she felt her climax build. “Don’t stop.” 

 

One hand slipped around behind her and gripped her ass tightly, pulling her against him as he worked her skillfully, quickening his pace on her, the fingers of his other hand moving to slip inside her and slowly begin to pump deeply up into her core, her arousal running down his fingers and hand in rivulets.

 

She gasped as his thick fingers spread her and filled her so perfectly. Her legs began to quiver and shake, her hands fisting in his hair tugging in need.

 

“Yes. Ben. YES! BEN!” she cried out as she came hard and fast on his mouth and hand, her pussy tightening possessively around his fingers.

 

Inside, he smiled in pride at this skill to get her off. He loved hearing her cry his name and loved the power that he could make her cum so beautifully. He lapped at her sex, pulling his hand from her in order to better savor her wetness on his tongue. He slowly stood and swept her up into his arms as she still trembled and gently lay her down on the bed looking down at her, leaning over and kissing her deeply.

 

Rey marveled at the taste of the two of them, tasting herself mingled on his lips, as his hand moved slowly over her naked torso and caressed her breasts gently. Still high on the feeling of her climax, she weakly tugged at his clothing and chuckled dreamily. “You can’t make love to me with your clothes on.”

 

“No, I can’t,” he said and swiftly divested himself of his clothes while she writhed gently on the bed in anticipation. 

 

He climbed onto the bed with her, moving to lay to the side of her and gently caressed her, his large hand over her body, slowly and with reverence. Every touch was with tender care, his eyes roamed over her body reveling in the sight of his hand on her form.

 

“You are so beautiful, so perfect,” he uttered softly to her as he lowered his mouth to press kisses to her temple and down her jaw line. He moved to her neck where he sucked and nipped hungrily at her flesh as his hands continued their busy exploration of her body. 

 

She arched up off the bed into his touch as she trembled beneath him. “I love the feeling of your hands on me, Ben”

 

His hands moved down between her legs and gently slipped his fingers between her folds and began to slowly stroke her, his long thick fingers moving to eagerly slip inside her as he looked deeply into her eyes, watching as her eyes closed at the pleasure. He moved them deep inside her, gently fucking her with his fingers, working her first with one, then with a second, preparing her to take him. “Is that good?” he whispered into the shell of her ear as he licked at it. 

 

“Hmmm yes, that feels so good,” she purred out. 

 

He slipped his fingers out of her and raised them to his lips and sucked on them. He slowly rolled atop of her and eased himself between her legs to rest between her hips, looking down at her. His large body lingering over her, his long thick cock laying heavily along her mons. He moved his mouth down to take one firm nipple between his lips and suck, savoring its feel on his tongue. He hummed softly against it. He alternating his suckling with dragging his teeth along the hardened nipple which sent shivers to her core.

 

Rey arched up to him feeling the pleasure of it and the arousal as if it were a line connected from her breast directly down to her pussy. It was delicious.  
  
  
His free hand moved over her other breast moving to pinch her nipple and twirl it gently as he continued to lathe at her other breast. 

 

“Let me get a condom,” he said to her.

 

She nodded and he eased up and reached over to his nightstand and opened the top drawer, pulling one out. He raised himself up on his knees. His cock jutted out long and hard from his body. He tugged at the foil wrapper, his hands shaking slightly as he did so. She reached up and placed her hands over his, her gaze on his. 

 

“Let me,” she said softly and took the condom. She opened it and tossed the foil aside before she reached down and took his cock in hand and slowly, sensually rolled it down his impressive shaft. Her eyes remained on his as she did it, the very act one of the most sensually erotic things he had ever experienced.

 

He then moved himself upward so his hard member came to rest between her wet folds. He was large, very large and he looked down into her eyes as it rested there. His hips moved gently, gliding his shaft along her clit slowly.

 

“Are you sure?” he asked gently.

 

She nodded to him with a smile. “Very.” 

 

He reached down and adjusted himself at her opening as she lifted and spread her legs wider to accommodate him before wrapping her legs around him. He gently pressed himself into her, her opening stretching wide, wider than it likely had been before, his eyes locked on hers. She let out a groan of pleasure as the crown of his cock slipped inside.

 

“Oh god Rey, you feel so good. You’re so tight,” he groaned out as he pressed inside her.

 

She arched her hips up to him. “You’re so big, fuck Ben,” she gasped.

 

“Am I hurting you? Are you okay?” he asked with a groan though he was worried for her. He wanted her to only feel pleasure.

 

“No … no it’s okay, just … go slow,” she replied as she adjusted to his girth.

 

“Okay, okay.” He pushed himself gently into her as he rested himself on his hands looking down at her, studying her face, watching her expression. He wanted this to be good for her, that’s all he wanted.

 

She let out a little sigh as her body adjusted to him and her hands began to rub his chest and her hips arched up to him to take him all into her. He could feel her move slightly and he began to slowly thrust into her with long gentle strokes to fill her to her depths. He moved down to his elbows allowing more of his body weight to press her down against the mattress and leaned down to kiss her tenderly, taking her lips, his tongue dancing with hers as his hips began to gently piston in and out of her, steady strokes, allowing her body to adjust to him more fully.

 

“Ahhh, yes,” she said as she pulled from their kiss letting out a low moan of pleasure.

 

“God, Rey, you feel so good. You’re so beautiful,” he gasped out. “So tight. So good.” 

 

Their bodies began to acclimate to one another more completely and move more in synch with one another. She pressed up against him to meet him with each thrust. Her hands grabbed his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin as he fucked her. Each thrust was met with a groan of nothing short of sheer pleasure and need. It was as if neither could get enough of the other.

 

His hips began to pump with more crispness and force into her and her legs tightened around his waist and pulled him deeper inside her. He was starting to let himself go. Sure, she was tight, but she was also so very wet, so his large cock glided in and out of her perfectly.

 

“Yes. Yes like that Ben. Harder,” she gasped out and threw her head back in pleasure

 

“Fuck. Rey,” he pressed his cock deeper and harder inside her, his tip pressing up against her cervix, thrusting with more vigor and intensity. 

 

“Don’t stop!” she was gasping, feeling his pelvis hitting her right in the sweet spot, grinding against her. It was so delicious. Feeling his large body atop hers. 

 

“Rey you’re so beautiful. You’re so perfect,” he muttered out, ramblings he couldn’t stop himself from saying. He panted and groaned, grunting with each hard thrust into her. He was lost in the feeling of her around him, feeling the heat of her body as he impaled her over and over with his cock.

 

She was panting now, their bodies slick with sweat as they fucked each other with wild intensity, all softness having left them, reaching, reaching for their climax together. He reached one hand up and fisted it into her hair, tugging just enough to send shivers of pleasure through her from that as well as the sensations about to erupt in her from the feelings his cock was bringing to her.

 

Rey fell over the edge first, crying out his name. “YES OH GOD YES BEN!” 

 

Ben felt a primal sense of pride as she came and he was lost to it fucking her harder and faster, chasing after that same need, pressing himself into her again and again until he followed her spilling himself into her finally with a shout of her name “YES REY! MY REY!!” His throat was raw from screaming out in pleasure and his entire body was rocked by tremors of pleasure as he exploded into the thin barrier of a condom that separated him from her.

 

He collapsed atop her, pressing his head into her neck, panting. As rational thought returned to him, he didn’t try to make sense out of the possessive nature of what he said when he came. He knew full well what he meant. To him she was his. He adored her. He just hoped he didn’t freak her out by saying it.

 

Her arms clung to him, hands moving up and down his wide back as she tried to regain her breathing. Nothing in her behavior seemed to show that she was put off by his climactic declaration. 

 

He raised his head and looked down at her and smiled serenely, his hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat and he met her gaze and leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly. “That was incredible.” 

 

She nodded “Yes. It was.” She smiled widely. 

 

He slowly, regretfully pulled out of her, a groan of protest coming from his throat as he did. He reached down to pull the condom off him and tie it off and toss it into the waste basket beside the bed. He rolled back to tug her against his body, peppering kisses over her brow and face. 

 

“You’re amazing. You are fucking amazing. You’re the most amazing woman in the world, Rey Kenobi,” he muttered to her while he continued kissing her, his hand gently moving over her body.

 

She chuckled as she snuggled into him “I think you’re just basking in the afterglow, Ben Solo.” 

 

He smirked. “No, it’s not that. It’s so much more than that.” He propped his head up so he could look down at her. “I know it’s soon but I need you to know how much you mean to me, Rey. I need you to understand. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” And I love you. He wanted to say it. The words were on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t say it. It was too soon. 

 

She smiled up at him and nodded “I understand Ben, I do, because I feel the same way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope our two lovebirds finally making love was satisfying to all of you. :D
> 
> I want to wish a very happy upcoming Thanksgiving to all my American Readers out there. I hope you'll be able to enjoy the day with people you love. I will likely be updating this on Black Friday next week so it will be something fun for you to read after you recuperate from all your shopping if you're one of the crazy people who goes shopping on that day. LOL. 
> 
> thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- as always i don't know what i would do without her - especially this week - she was sick with a cold and still managed to get my chapter to me. 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben go shopping and it doesn't go as smoothly as they'd hoped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving my American Friends. I hope you're having an awesome holiday and enjoy this chapter. I'm posting early this week before we have our dinner. Happy pre-weekend to all my non-american readers.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/31432357728/in/dateposted-public/)

Rey woke very early the next morning feeling herself tucked tightly against Ben, her back pressed against his front with his arm heavy around her waist. His steady intake and exhale of breath washed over her neck as he slept deeply. She smiled to herself at the feeling his body, firm and strong, against hers and closed her eyes once more to savor the feeling of being in his arms. Safe. She had told him last night he was safe. But was she?

 

She gently eased his arm off her body and gingerly slipped out of bed moving to pull on his sweater and walked into the living room. She peered out the window watching the quiet street below. The sun had barely begun to rise and everything was peaceful and still. 

Was she safe? That was the question that sprung to mind. She didn’t know. How could she know? She hadn’t been completely honest with him. He didn’t know all her truth and until that happened, she wouldn’t know if he could truly accept all of her but even now it gnawed at her gut. 

 

Nothing. You’re nothing. Unwanted. Unloved. Abandoned. An orphan. You won’t amount to anything girl. You’re worthless. They never wanted you. If you mattered, they’d never have left you. The voice forever echoing in her head was relentless in its chiding tone. 

 

She could never get over the fact that deep down she still struggled with the belief that she really didn’t matter, that she was nothing. No matter what she accomplished or how hard she worked, it still ate away at her. 

 

“Rey?” Ben called out as he stood in the doorway of the bedroom looking out at her. “You okay, Sweetheart? It’s so early. I woke up and you weren’t there.” Left unspoken was his own worry that she had gotten spooked and left without a word.

 

She jumped a bit, startled by his voice and turned to see him there, naked and gorgeous. His lustrous hair was a total mess and he stood rubbing his chest gently as he yawned. 

 

“Sorry. I’m fine. I got up to get a glass of water and got distracted looking out at the sunrise,” she lied. She convinced herself it wasn’t a lie, of course, it was just protecting him from the jumbled thoughts in her head.

 

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked. He just had this feeling something was wrong.

 

She crossed the room and reached up setting her hands flat on his chest and smiled up at him gently. “Yes, I’m sure sleepyhead. You don’t have to worry about me. Go back to bed. I’ll get my water and come right back, okay?” She reached up and urged him down for a soft kiss on the lips.

 

He kissed her back and nodded “Okay.” He turned around and walked back and fell back into bed burrowing back under the covers.

 

She walked over to the kitchen and pulled down a glass, turned on the faucet, got her water and sipped it as she stared off at nothing and wondered why it was so hard for her to just talk to him about how she was feeling and the real truth of her past? She cared about him more than she’d ever cared about anyone. Why couldn’t she just open up? 

 

Maybe it was because she cared about him so much? When you care so much, you’re more afraid to lose someone. Maybe that’s why she never allowed herself to get this close to anyone before? 

 

She sipped the water and then set the glass down on the counter. She walked back into the bedroom and pulled off his sweater before crawling back under the covers and snuggling up to him from behind. She curled into him being the big spoon to his little spoon and held him tightly. She clung to him feeling all that fear of losing him wash over her. She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want to be abandoned again. If he left her, she couldn’t bear it. 

 

============================= 

 

Rey eyed Ben over the rim of her coffee cup as she took a sip then set it down. Their breakfast smelled wonderful and she was happily digging in. The corner booth they sat in at The Town Diner was comfortable and she had an excellent view of the entire place from it. She could people watch perfectly there. The Town Diner was an old-fashioned New England silver diner filled the memorabilia and bustling with energy. Everyone seemed happy to be there and was filled with all walks of life from the older couple dressed to the nines in the side table to the two college freshmen at the counter in their sweats who looked like they just rolled in from an all-night bender and couldn’t stop laughing. 

 

“I’ve always liked coming here,” she said to him with a smile. 

 

When they had gotten ready that morning, they tossed on comfy clothes for a casual day, both of them simply dressed in jeans and sweatshirts and of course their coats to ward off the November cold. As Rey looked around, she realized they were likely in the middle of the road in terms of dress there. She wondered for a moment if that felt strange for Ben who was always so well put together. 

 

“I don’t really come here much anymore. Even though I really should. I loved this place growing up. I tend to get too caught up in what I’m working on these days. But there is something to be said for a good old-fashioned New England diner. There is nothing quite like it. We were the pioneers after all,” he said somewhat smugly.

 

“Oh, you were the pioneers, were you?” She chuckled. 

 

“Yes, accounts vary, some say it was in Rhode Island, others Massachusetts but the first diners were from here in New England. Diner culture was formed here. We were the pioneers so you all can thank us for this marvelousness.” He chuckled. 

 

“Well thank you very much then.” Rey responded with a bow of her head, joking.

 

He laughed. “I know it’s strange that most people wouldn’t think I would be a diner person but believe it or not, my Nanny Ahsoka would take me to the diner on Saturday mornings with her when I was little and it was always a fun outing. I never forgot it. She would put me on the little mechanical horse out front, put the quarter in and I would ride it. We’d come in and I’d have hot cocoa and chocolate chip pancakes. It was just so different than everything at the manor. It felt … normal and fun.” 

 

Rey smiled at him and nodded. “There is something about being here that feels like it’s,” her mind searched for the best way to express her thoughts, “I don’t know what the right word is, equalizing maybe? Like it doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from, somehow coming in here puts you all on the same playing field. I mean sort of.” She chuckled. “Maybe that doesn’t make sense.” 

 

“No, I can totally see what you mean. Like the diner is the great equalizer. Everyone’s just here to get their diner food and the diner experience and no one cares about who you are or where you’re from,” he smiled. 

 

Rey nodded. “Yeah. That’s exactly what I mean.” 

 

Ben watched her and thought back to his conversation with Gwen and his jaw clenched and he looked down at his plate, his fork pushing his eggs around as his expression darkened.

 

“It should be that way in more places. People shouldn’t care about status or anything like that, but the world is that it is, you know? I’ve grown up around it all my life. The idea of how much better people are than others. As if somehow money or power actually makes them better than other people. I can guarantee you of the people I know their money and power definitely does ‘not’ make them better people,” he said in a low dark tone. 

 

Rey felt her heart bloom inside her chest as he said that. He was such a good man. He wasn’t stuck up in the least. How could she have ever judged him so harshly in the beginning? She smiled gently and reached her hand over to him. “You’re a good man Ben Solo.” And I love you. She felt those words on the tip of her tongue. It scared the shit out of her but she didn’t say it. It was too soon, so she kept her eyes on his with a soft smile. 

 

He squeezed her hand tightly. “I just need you to know how much you mean to me Rey. That the differences in circumstances, they don’t matter. Never doubt that. Okay?” His low voice, such a deep and sensual timbre, was serious and sincere.

 

She nodded to him. “I believe you Ben. I do.” 

 

He smiled then and she could see the relief in his expression. He released her hand and went back to his breakfast. The waitress came to their table to refresh their coffees and he leaned back a bit in his seat and sipped his and then looked at her. “So, there’s something I wanted to ask you.” 

 

She sipped her fresh coffee too after adding more cream and sugar “Shoot.” 

 

“My mother is having a party at her house next week. Sort of a pre-holiday thing. I’d like you to come with me and well, she really wants to meet you.” He watched her closely. “She’s sort of personally invited you.” 

 

Rey very gently set down the cup she was holding so as not to drop it and then set her hands in her lap and clenched her fingers together tightly. “Um. Ben. Your mother is the Dean of the University. The Dean of the University is having a party and she wants me to come? That’s fucking insane, okay?” 

 

Ben sighed gently and set his coffee down. “Rey, we’re together. That’s kind of part of this now. I know it seems overwhelming but it’s only going to be a small get-together and I really want you to meet her. She’s actually very nice and it will be a nice gathering, some good food, liquor, music.” He smiled softly. 

 

“Ben I’ve never been to any kind of party like that before in my life, you know that. You’re asking me to go to a party with people I’ve never met before, in a situation I’ve never experienced before AND meet your mother at the same time? That’s pretty fucking intense, don’t you think?” She groaned.

 

He raised his hand to rub his face gently and let out a low moan “Now that you mention it, it does sound like a lot. I’m sorry, I’ll just tell my mother no.” 

 

Rey sighed and thought about it, feeling frustrated but also not wanting to let him down. “No. No, don’t do that. It’s just a lot to take in. I’m just freaking out a little,” she said swiftly. “I just … if I do this I’m going to need some help. Like I said I’ve never been to something like this. I’m gonna assume I’d have to dress up so I’d need to get something fancy to wear, which I do not have. So that means I’ll need you to help me again, which I don’t like, but I don’t like the idea of reflecting badly on you more.” She sighed and shook her head.

 

Ben considered that and reached for his coffee and sipped it. “I think that is maybe part of what we may have to deal with once in a while. You may need to get comfortable with me helping you out. We’re together Rey, you’re in a situation where you’re barely making ends meet, I have so much why not let me help you? Do things for you? Spoil you? Don’t other boyfriends get to spoil their girlfriends?” he asked genuinely, setting his cup down. 

 

Rey watched him and bit down on her lower lip “I mean I guess they do but most boyfriends aren’t fricking rich like you are and can’t just go around buying all kinds of stuff. When they spoil their girlfriends they buy like roses or something,” she chuckled.

 

“You don’t know that it’s just that.” He smirked at her. “They may be buying them all kinds of other things.” He wiggles his brows. “Sexy things.”  
She chuckled and rolled her eyes “Okay maybe that’s true but well I’m just saying. Poe spoils Finn but it’s usually with like concert tickets, game tickets and sports jerseys.” 

 

Ben grinned “Well that’s not cheap, all things considered.” 

 

Rey shrugged “I suppose, it’s just being with you can be a little overwhelming Ben.” 

 

Ben’s expression sobered and he looked a little hurt “I’m sorry Rey. I don’t mean to overwhelm you. That’s never my intention. I know me being older and more established and … well all the rest of the stuff, my family and … things “ He looked down at his plate, pondering it all.

 

Rey interrupted him “It’s okay I was just saying that we need to find our way, and this party has just thrown me for a loop.”

 

He nodded and raised his eyes to hers and his lips quirked up at the edges in a small smile.

 

“So, you’ll let me spoil you for the party and you’ll come with me?” he said eagerly.

 

“Ugh. Yes, Ben. I’ll let you and I’ll go but I swear to god if this is a disaster, I’ll never let you off the hook,” she grumbled.

 

======================= 

 

Going shopping at Neiman Marcus in their jeans and sweatshirts might not have been the best idea he’s ever had but fuck it, he didn’t care. He had every intention of helping Rey find the perfect outfit for his mother’s party and that was that.

 

Rey shifted uncomfortably with him and looked at him as they walked into the women’s department and she shook her head. “Ben, what did I tell you about getting me expensive designer clothes?” 

 

Ben smirked at her “You’re going to have to just get used to it for some things, that’s all. This party is semi-formal so you’re going to want to have a nice cocktail dress. Besides you’re going to look gorgeous and I know you’ll love it once you get it on.” 

 

She shifted and felt her stomach tighten but gave him a small smile. “Alright. If you say so.” 

 

He paused and looked down at her and took her hands in his. “Rey. If you’re really uncomfortable we don’t have to do this. I can tell my mother she can meet you some other time. You don’t have to deal with this part of my family’s … well … world or whatever you want to call it. I tend to avoid these things most of the time anyway. Just be honest with me. If you really don’t want to go, we can just not go and that’s that.” 

 

Rey looked up into his eyes and contemplated the situation. She hadn’t really thought of what it would mean to step into his high society world. She certainly didn’t know if she was prepared for that. She clearly didn’t have the means to present herself for that. She was an orphan on scholarship. But she also wanted to be with him, stand by him, accept his mother’s invitation and meet her. She was his girlfriend. She didn’t want to be rude. 

 

“No. It’s okay. Let’s do this.” She squared her shoulders and nodded her head resolutely. 

 

He grinned. “Awesome.” 

 

They found their way to the women’s designer dress section. Ben began sorting through them, suggesting little black dresses of various designs. 

 

Rey smiled and nodded liking his choices and helping narrow them down.

 

“Those are all really nice.” She reached for the tag on the one he pulled out to show her. It was a body hugging off-the-shoulder Carolina Herrera three quarter bell sleeve dress. “Six hundred and ninety-seven. ON SALE! From two fucking thousand!” She burst out. “What the fuck?” She glared at him.  
  
Ben cringed and looked at her and made an apologetic face “Well that’s what these dresses go for Rey, I don’t know what to tell you. They’re nice. I mean I want you to have something nice. This is where my mother gets her things sometimes so I figured this would be a good place to get you something. Not that this is something my mother would wear, that is. This is a hot dress. My mother doesn’t wear hot dresses,” he babbled. 

 

“Yeah but that’s insane. Who spends that kind of money on a dress? ONE dress? I can’t even fathom something like that.” She shook her head and pressed her fingers to her eyes and rubbed.

 

“Rey I’m sorry this is just the world I live in. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Okay this is stupid let’s just forget it.” He put the dress back on the rack and turned around and started to walk away.

 

“Ben, just wait.” She called after him. 

 

He paused and turned and looked at her, his eyes filled with hurt. “Rey, I think we should just call it a day. I’ll drive us home and maybe we can try this again tomorrow or something. That is if you even want to. I’m just not in the mood anymore.” He started walking out of the store.

 

“Ben don’t be like that.” She said she walked after him. 

 

They got to his car and he helped her in like he always did and he got in and started it up and drove back to his place in silence to get her things. Once they got inside he tossed his keys on the table and pulled off his coat and threw it on the sofa and walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer and opened it and took a deep sip.

 

She pulled off her own coat and hung it on the rack. “Are you going to talk to me about what is going on with you?” She asked pointedly. “Why are you mad at me?” She crossed her arms in front of her defensively.

 

“I’m not mad, I’m just confused. Worried.” He said and took another sip.

 

“What are you worried about?” she said curiously.

 

“That you still think of me as that stuck-up, privileged asshole and you always will. That you’ll always see my life as something fucked up and how I live as something fucked up and you’ll always look at me like I’m some kind of fucking werido because I want to buy you an expensive dress. You should have seen how you glared at me. Like I was committing some kind of fucking crime against humanity because I could spend that kind of money on a dress for you.” His voice raised, tense and upset.

 

“I don’t think you’re an asshole but you’ll have to excuse me for being a little shell shocked by the idea of a two thousand dollar dress, Ben. I’ve lived in fucking poverty my whole life and I don’t know how to react to something like that, okay?” She bit back at him loudly. “I don’t think you’re fucked up or a weirdo but I’m not exactly used to any of this either so maybe you could give me a fucking MINUTE to adjust?” 

 

He watched her then as they stared at each other and he just nodded silently as the quiet stretched between them. He took another sip of his beer and set it down. 

 

“I don’t want money or any of this status shit to come between us. It shouldn’t matter. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. Maybe it’s some caveman thing inside me that makes me want to do things for you and buy things for you and spoil you. I hate that you’ve lived in poverty Rey.” He walked over to her and tugged her into his arms and looked down into her eyes. 

 

“I want to shower you with everything and protect you and comfort you.” He blinked as he gazed at her.

 

“I know you do but Ben you can’t just swoop in to completely take care of me, I have to be able to take care of myself. Adjusting to this situation is strange. I know there’s a way we can meet in the middle. I guess I can try to let myself adjust to letting you help sometimes. Even if it is with a fucking outrageously expensive dress. Christ.” She let herself smile a small smile up at him. 

 

He smiled then, the tension of their argument shifting into something else, a slow lazy smile that crossed his lips and leaned down and captured her mouth as his arms circled around her narrow waist and pulled her body flush against his. “Was that our first fight?” He murmured into her mouth.

 

“I guess so,” she chuckled back at him.

 

“I guess that only means one thing.” He nibbled down on her lower lip.

 

“What?” She let out a low purring sound.

 

“Make up sex.” He scooped her up into his arms, bridal style, and carried her to the bedroom as she let out a whooping laugh. 

 

=====================

 

He tossed her down on the bed and he was immediately on top of her devouring her mouth hungrily as her hands were reaching for the hem of his sweatshirt. “Off off.” She was grunting into his mouth as they kissed in a clash of teeth and tongues. 

 

“Fuck. Glasses.” He shifted his upper body off of her as he lunged towards the nightstand. With as much care as he could muster in his fevered state, he tossed the glasses the last couple inches to the nightstand, the frames clattering across the wooden surface. His hand reached down and yanked open the drawer. Blindly he felt around inside until his fingers found the foil wrapper of the condom and pulled it out, setting it on the bed. He rose up on his knees between her legs and tugged the sweatshirt she had been anxious to remove up and over his head, tossing it aside carelessly. 

 

He then reached for her and yanked her sweatshirt up and off tossing it aside like it was some annoyance as he had done with his and moved to divest her of her bra. Though his fingers were often very dexterous, it took two tries to work the clasp in his eagerness but he got it and tossed it to the ground in an almost angry gesture wanting to be rid of it as fast as he could. 

 

Her hands greedily sought out his waistband pulling his jeans open and thrusting questing fingers into them to wrap around his long hard cock. She gripped it tightly, an act that brought a groan of pleasure from him and began stroking it, already eager for him to be inside her. “I need you. I need you in me. Now!” she groaned out urgently and with aching need.

 

“Soon sweetheart,” he grunted out as she stroked him more. “But if you keep that up I’m not going to last when it counts.” He loved the feel of her hand on him, it felt so perfect. It was an act of supreme willpower not to just tug her jeans down a bit and force himself into her right this second.

 

He moved from between her legs and to the side of the bed, standing and looking down the beautiful sight of her there. In part the act was meant to separate his body from her grip lest she push him too far too fast, but it was also to deal with her jeans. His strong hands gripped her jeans, unfastening them. He groaned out in frustration at having to pull from her grip but he had his priorities and getting those jeans off her was high on the list. He grabbed the waistband of the now open jeans and in one long, fluid tug, pulled them down and off her beautiful legs, baring her fully before him. 

 

She whined as he still had his jeans on and he chuckled and grinned down at her as she wriggled on the bed, pressing her thighs together for friction, already soaking for him as she watched him toe off his sneakers, pull off his socks and then slowly tug down his jeans. “So eager,” he said in a low sensually teasing voice.

 

“Ben Solo I swear to god if you don’t get in this bed and fuck me, I’m going to scream,” she growled.

 

“Oh, you’re going to scream alright.” He smiled at her and climbed on the bed and reached for her knees and parted them, his hand moving up to stroke her already soaked pussy. “So so wet for me. God baby.” 

 

“I need you so bad,” she moaned.

 

He slipped first one then two long thick fingers inside her, slowly pumping them into her, filling her as his thumb began to circle her clit. He worked her with intensity, nothing slow about his movements, he wanted her ready and he wanted her ready fast. As he worked her, his gaze remained on her beautiful face, watching the pleasure show there.

 

“Ben please, in me. In me.” She panted out as her hips writhed upward. 

 

He moved between her legs, kneeling and slowly pressed the swollen head of his cock against her glistening lips and wet himself with her juices. He dragged the tip of him over her clit stroking it slowly up and down as he looked down at her. His cock ached desperately to be inside her. He wanted to just thrust into her and feel her stretched around him, but he needed to take his time and he needed that damned condom that was going to delay him further.

 

She looked up at him and smiled. He reached over and grabbed the condom. He made quick work of the wrapper and then stretched it over his crown before rolling it down his thick shaft as quickly as he could. After her repositioned himself at her dripping core, she nodded up at him and then he pressed himself into her. He felt her stretch around his tip before it was enveloped within her. He leaned over her then, his patience and control all but failing him and thrust hard into her, sheathing himself fully with her.

 

“Oh fuck yes!” she cried out, her muscles tensing and back arching a bit as he filled her so fully and perfectly.

 

He pulled back and thrust back into her again, harder this time. This wasn’t about making love, this was a primal need between the two of them that would only be sated by letting themselves go and giving over fully to the passions they felt. She wrapped her legs tightly around him and her arms came up to clutch to his shoulders. It was a purely possessive move to cling to him as he fucked her, her own body bucking against him, trying as she might to fuck him in return.

 

“Ugh Rey you’re so tight around me Sweetheart.” he groaned.

 

“Harder.” she gasped as her nails dug into his shoulders.

 

In response, his hips pumped harder, crashing into her with speed and strength. They each had needs in this and those needs were for him to utterly possess her and for her to completely suffuse his senses in every way. She clung desperately to him as his body gave her what she needed, long, powerful and relentless strokes and pressed his cock deep into the recesses of her core. He wasn’t just fucking her body, it was far more intense than that. It was as if through this physical act he was touching her spirit, her very soul. He answered her need and in turn answered an unspoken need he felt within himself. 

 

“I can’t get enough of you,“ he growled out with a mixture of need and desire.

 

Her nails dug into his shoulder blades, leaving marks that he would doubtless find later, as she clung to him and coaxed him on raising her hips up to meet each deep plunge of his cock inside her. 

 

“Don’t stop. Don’t stop,” she cried out.

 

For him, he felt her inner walls constricting around him, cradling him and possessing him as he fucked her hard and fast. The scent of her, wet and dripping filled his nostrils and drove him on even harder. The sounds of her moans, her cries of pleasure, her urging, it all worked to stroke a purely male part of him that reveled in bringing her this pleasure. The sight of her, her face a mask of pleasure and need was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He leaned into her, capturing her lips to complete the sensory overload as his tongue thrust into her mouth tasting her. This wasn’t going to last, this wasn’t some slow sensual love making, this was primal taking of one another. Possession. Lust. Hunger. 

 

She pulled him closer so their bodies were nearly flush with one another. He leaned on his elbows but broke the kiss so that he could look down into her face as he fucked her hard and fast. 

 

She felt it coming over her as his pelvis hit her so perfectly over and over again “Oh God, Ben. I’m coming. Fuck. Yes. Fuck. BEN!” She screamed out his name.

 

That sound, her crying out his name, it made him feel like the gods in their study sessions, powerful and potent, worshipped by a mortal lover. He felt her tighten around him as he continued pounding into her once, twice and then he exploded into her calling out her name. “REY!” The condom kept his seed from her but she could feel the pulsing and spasming of his cock within her as he came so hard. He collapsed on top of her trying not to put the entirety of his weight on her as he pressed kisses to her neck. 

 

She held him tightly to her as they both tried to regain their breathing.

 

“Jesus fuck,” she said. “That was …” 

 

“Intense,” he answered.

 

“Yeah,” she smiled and kissed his sweaty brow. “I loved it.” 

 

“Me too.” He raised himself up and felt himself softening inside of her and eased out and rolled to the side. He reached down and took care of the condom discreetly and then turned back to look at her in the light of the room, propping himself up on his elbow. 

 

They both tried to regain their breath as they lay beside one another after joining together in such fevered passion.

 

The sunlight was filtered through the drapes and was glistening off her sweat covered body.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said reverently as he dragged his fingertips over her hip bone. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to adjust to the fact that I get to look at you like this, touch you like this. See such beauty before me.” 

 

“Thank you,” She replied as she turned her head to watch him. “I’m sorry I freaked out before, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad Ben.” 

 

“You don’t have to be sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t sensitive to what all this must be like for you.” His hand moved up to softly spread over her belly, it nearly covered her entire abdomen. “I know this isn’t easy, this whole situation. Us coming together like we are with our lives being different.” 

 

“It’s okay. I think this is a learning curve for both of us.” She smiled at him. “I’m willing to learn if you are.” 

 

“I definitely am, Rey. I want this to work. More than anything. You are so worth it.” He leaned down and kissed her lips. 

 

“So are you.” She kissed him back softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beloved husband for beta'ing this chapter for me. Sending out get well wishes to @perrydowning who was down and out this past week. 
> 
> Kudos and comments give me life. 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben finally attend Leia's pre-holiday party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are lovelies, finally at Leia's party. I hope you enjoy it. It's definitely been a lead up. Whatever will happen?
> 
> Thank you to the amazing [@lilithsaur](https://lilithsaur.tumblr.com/) for the beautiful artwork in this chapter. Read on to see it.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/44675419955/in/dateposted-public/)

Time seemed to go in a whirl, Rey was working on papers for her classes while Ben was taking time to work on his dissertation and as always, fulfilling his duties in Holdo’s class. Rey also worked extra hours at the library, taking additional hours to try to appease that nagging voice in the back of her head telling her she could support herself; not wanting to take charity from Ben. She knew it was stupid, her rational mind told her, letting it get to her. She told herself that she shouldn’t let their differences in status bother her, but still, for some reason, it gnawed at her sometimes. 

> 

They didn’t see each other much, but at least they had Tuesday when Rey would get off that afternoon and spend the rest of the day and night at his place even if they both had their heads buried in their studies. It was still something. Right? They ate take away while studying and made love. One specific Tuesday the need for closeness truly got the better of them. 

 

Rey climbed into Ben’s lap after the two had gotten distracted from their individual work. After some awkward fumbling with their clothing, made so by the desire to not break their deeply passionate kiss while undressing, and the annoyance of rolling a condom onto Ben, Rey slipped down onto Ben’s cock and began riding him slowly on his sofa. Their books and papers fell all around them, tumbling to the floor, not that either cared about the state of papers at this moment. 

Their bodies gently moved in time with one another, a sweet gentle rhythm, eyes locked on each other, arms clasped tightly as they climbed for their release. In that unified movement of body, the two found again that primal, intimate connection that had somewhat taken a back seat to their lives.

 

They collapsed to the floor in a sweaty heap with him atop her, still inside her, after they both came in loud pleasure. They lay, panting, on his very expensive oriental carpet. He buried his face in her neck while they regained their breath. Unfortunately, and much to both their frustrations, he had to remove and dispose of the condom before there was more of a mess, or worse, and so he had to pull from her and get up. He walked into the hall bathroom to dispose of the condom and to cursorily clean up before coming back out and lying down next to her with a bit of a flop on the floor beside her, even though it wasn’t the most comfortable of positions in the world. 

 

“I’m really nervous about your mother’s party Saturday,” she admitted, seemingly out of nowhere. 

 

He looked over at her then propped himself up on one elbow as he turned to the side to get a better view of her. “I know you are. I can tell by how quiet you’ve been in general. I’ve pretty much just decided to give you time to think things through. I didn’t want to push you until you were ready to talk about it. I just want to be here for you.” He leaned down and kissed along her neck and to her jaw as his hand moved over her abdomen and up over her breasts gently.

 

She sighed at the tender contact. “I’m just so fucking nervous. I can’t help but feel that everyone there is going to judge me. If not for the fact that I’m an undergrad and you’re my TA, then for the fact that I’m some orphan and you’re from old money. Everyone is going to know I don’t belong there. I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb,” she put her hand over her face as if to hide from the very thought of it all and to hold back any tears that might threaten to come.

 

“Rey, I know this is hard, but you have to believe me that the people who are going to be at the party are family friends; they’re there because my mother likes them and they wouldn’t be rude to me or my guest. I assure you that no one will treat you poorly. I’m sure of it.” He leaned down and kissed her lips.

 

“If you really think so,” she said softly but she still had this niggling voice in the back of her mind telling her that it just wasn’t going to go well. Of course, it was always that voice reminding her that she was nothing. She tried to shake herself out of it.

 

=================== 

 

The night of the party arrived and when they pulled up to the manor, Rey’s eyes widened. It was stunning. The estate was incredibly beautiful and she turned to Ben as they pulled up to the men who were working as valets for the night and shook her head. “You actually grew up here?” She shook her head. The only people I will fit in with here are those parking the cars, she thought to herself.

 

“Yep. I sure did. It was super fun being told not to touch half of the furniture inside,” he answered acerbically. “At least what I could touch wasn’t covered in plastic, so I had that going for me,” he added wryly.

 

She paused and looked at him with narrowed eyes for the slightest moment and her smile faded a bit. Of course, he wouldn’t really appreciate the gravity of what growing up in a real home would be like for her. What it could mean. 

 

The valet opened the door and helped her out as Ben came around to take her hand and walk with her to the doors which were opened by staff who took their coats, another thing that surprised her and made her feel a bit more self-conscious. He walked with her into the house’s main great room where people were gathered and they were immediately greeted by a very stunning and very excited Leia. Leia looked regal in a gorgeous blue Tadashi Shoji sequin swirl long-sleeve dress and Manolo Blahnik Hangisi crystal-buckle pumps, her hair done up in an ornate double braid that wrapped around her head. She approached them with a warm, welcoming smile. 

 

“Ben, oh darling it is so good to see you and this must be Rey. Oh sweetheart aren’t you lovely.” She reached a hand out for her and rested it on Rey’s arm. “Hello. Welcome to my home. Please, come in come in.” 

 

Rey smiled at her. “Hello. It’s such a pleasure to meet you Ms. Organa.” 

 

“Rey this is my mother, Leia Organa, Mother, this is Rey Kenobi.” He made the proper introductions even though both women had already jumped passed that point.

 

“Rey, it’s so lovely to finally meet you, I’ve heard such wonderful things about you. Please, call me Leia,” she replied. “Help yourself to some champagne, it’s passing around here, there we go.” Leia gestured to the passing server.

 

A server passed with a silver try with champagne flutes on them. Ben plucked two from the tray in a fluid motion and handed one to Rey. 

 

“You look so beautiful Rey, that dress looks fantastic on you,” she smiled. 

 

“Thank you very much,” Rey said and tried not to squirm under her gaze. Rey wore a black Zac Posen triangle shoulder-cutouts sheath cocktail dress and Jimmy Choo strappy heels. 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/31929299228/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/45076025424/in/dateposted-public/)

 

 

“Now darling, I want you to tell me all about yourself,” Leia slipped her arm in Rey’s.

 

“Mother, I don’t want you to overwhelm her,” Ben chided his mother, his tone very protective of Rey.

 

“Nonsense, I’m going to show her around the house and we can have some girl talk. Why don’t you go say hello to your uncle? He’s over by the food,” she brushed him off and started walking with Rey, arm in arm.

 

Rey looked at Ben over her shoulder as Leia walked away with her. Leia, this small but incredibly lovely woman, was nothing if not a pure force of nature, who Rey felt fully swept away by. She was trying not to panic at this point.

 

“Now, Ben tells me you’re from London. You know I spent a good amount of time in London. What part did you grow up in?” she asked curiously.

 

Rey felt a bit of embarrassment wash over her. “Oh, I um ... Dagenham ma’am.” She swallowed. 

 

“Ah yes. That can be a difficult part of the city as I understand it. I understand you worked very hard to make your way out of there. Studied and put yourself top of your class to get the very best of scholarships. You should be very proud of yourself for that Rey,” she said with a smile and a squeeze of her arm. She  
sipped her champagne with her free hand. “And please, like I said, do call me Leia. 

 

Rey couldn’t help but feel herself warmed and welcomed by this powerful woman. She was kind and generous and sincere. 

 

“Alright then, Leia,” she agreed with a smile. “And thank you. I did. I worked very hard. I was determined to make something of my life. To have a better future,” Rey said resolutely.

 

“I understand you’re studying Engineering. Quite a challenging field. What made you take an interest in that?” she asked curiously.

 

“Well I found growing up I liked figuring out how things worked, I liked fixing things. Taking things apart to see how they worked and then putting them back together. Tinkering. It helped fill the time and gave me something to do away from more difficult situations,” she said trying to leave out more ugly details.

 

“I like someone who is tenacious. Figures out puzzles. Someone who works hard. That’s the kind of person I admire. A woman with spirit and strength. Someone who fights for herself and for what she believes in, who fights to make her way in this world.” She walked through the stunning house and paused before a portrait of a very beautiful couple. 

 

“These were my parents. Bail and Breha Organa. They passed when I was young. Died in a tragic accident. They gave me every privilege in the world. Social status, financial security. I never had to work a day in my life if I didn’t want to, but I still chose to work. To get the highest education possible, and to make my own way in the world. To write, to create, to fight for position in a man’s world, to make a name for myself and earn my titles.” She turned to look at her. “When I look at where you come from and what you’re doing with your life, I can see incredible strength in you. It’s no wonder my son adores you,” she smiled gently.

 

Rey blushed under her gaze. “Well we’ve only been seeing one another for a short while.” 

 

“Oh well, a mother can tell these things,” she said with a chuckle. “He speaks very highly of you and with great affection. Tell me, do you care for him?” The two women walked companionably through the other beautiful rooms filled with fine antiques and stunning décor.

 

Rey nodded. “I do, I care for him very much.” The truth of her feelings resonated in her words and in her eyes.

 

“That’s good. I’m glad to hear it. I want him to be happy. He deserves that.” She turned and looked at the young woman. “I haven’t ever seen him as happy as he has been since he started seeing you, Rey.” She sipped her champagne. “You deserve to be happy, too.” 

 

Rey looked at Leia and swallowed, feeling a little overwhelmed. “Well, I hope he and I can manage our relationship and be happy together, Leia. That’s definitely what I want.” 

 

Leia nodded and patted Rey’s arm. “I hope you both can be happy. That’s all that really matters in the end. Relationships can be hard work but I have a feeling you both are stubborn enough to make it work, just remember to talk things out. I had a problem with that in my marriage. I didn’t communicate well. My primary mode of communication was yelling. Ben’s father as well. It didn’t go so well. Communication is key to making a good relationship work. I know that now.” 

 

“Yes, I imagine you’re right,” Rey responded. “I’m very sorry about your marriage,” she said softly.

 

“So am I,” Leia said gently. “But you never know what the future holds,” she said cryptically. 

 

Leia had managed to walk her back around to where Ben was standing talking to Amilyn Holdo. Rey’s professor. Rey blanched when she saw her. 

 

“Ah Ami, you know Rey don’t you?” Leia asked in her warm tone.

 

Amilyn turned and nodded. “Hello Rey, it’s lovely to see you. Ben was just telling me you were here tonight as his guest.” If Holdo was upset by her presence she didn’t show it.

 

“Aunt Amilyn was telling me she was going to be going to Switzerland over winter break,” Ben said casually.

 

“Aunt Amilyn?” Rey said surprised seeing the Professor Holdo was being addressed as Aunt Amilyn. 

 

“Well I’m not really his Aunt. Leia and I have just been best friends for longer than I can remember so I remember Ben back when he was a toddler.” She chuckled gently. 

 

Ben groaned, “Can we please not talk about that.” 

 

“And why not, you were adorable with those cute big ears,” she laughed out.

 

“Oh my god, please stop!” Ben said, his face and ears going red with embarrassment.

 

“Awww Ben, I think it’s cute,” Leia said chuckling. “Look, your ears are going red even now.”

 

Rey squeezed his hand but couldn’t help chuckling despite herself. 

 

“Not you, too Rey, don’t turn on me with the rest of them,” he smirked at her.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m not. I’m not.” She smiled at him. “It’s just, they’re not wrong, your ears are very cute.” She laughed gently. 

 

“Look, let’s go get some food, I’ll introduce you to my Uncle. We’ll talk to you ladies a little later.” Ben took Rey’s arm and walked with her. “How did it go with my mother?” he asked quietly.

 

Rey smiled “She was lovely. Kind. Supportive. Everything I could have hoped for. Ben, I’m surprised things are tense between you.” 

 

“Well we’re still working to repair the history we have, but I’m so glad she was wonderful with you. That’s all I wanted. I knew she would love you. You two are so much alike. Strong, intelligent women who have worked very hard to get where they are in life.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek softly. “How are you feeling?” 

 

“Good, I’m feeling alright. Definitely better than I anticipated,” she admitted to him. 

 

Ben looked at Rey as he discreetly pointed over to where his Uncle stood. “That’s my Uncle Luke. I told you a little bit about him. We didn’t always get along. When I as in his prep school as a student he was really hard on me. Made me really uncomfortable a lot of the time. But as I got older, he came to me and tried to make me understand he really just wanted to help me figure my way out through the darker parts of my nature. It wasn’t easy but we found our way through things. He’s a little weird but we’re pretty close now.” 

 

Rey nodded as she listened, looking over to the man as Ben described their relationship. 

 

He walked with her over to where his uncle stood. Ben put his hand on a man’s shoulder. “Uncle Luke.” 

 

Luke turned towards them as they approached. He had greying hair, soft blue eyes and a well-trimmed grey beard. He smiled up at Ben and then looked to Rey. 

 

“Ah, this must be Rey,” he said with a warm kindness in his voice. “I’ve heard so much about you.” He held his hand out to her. 

 

Rey looked into his blue eyes and felt like they pierced right into her soul, as if there was some force that could see right into and through her and sense everything about her. “Yes, hello.” She reached her hand out to shake his. When their hands touched she felt a warmth and a soothing comfort between them.

 

“Ben has told me so much about you that I feel as if I know you already. Such a strong force of nature,” he said with a smile. “Likely more powerful than you even know. That’s what I always told Ben about himself. I’m sure that’s what attracted the two of you to one another.” He looked between the two of them. “I can sense that about you both.” 

 

“Okay, okay, Uncle Luke don’t start all that crazy zen mumbo jumbo you always go on about.” Ben patted him on his arm.

 

“It’s not mumbo jumbo Ben, people are drawn together by the cosmos, forces beyond our understanding draw them to each other,” he explained.

 

Rey smiled to him. “I’d like to hear more about that.” 

 

Luke grinned and was happy to oblige. “Well, we’re all apart of living energy in this world and it’s all around us, moving through us, and we all put off vibrations in this world and we all draw people to us and some people more than others. I can sense you and Ben have a real connection with each other. You complement each other. A real balance.” He smiled.

 

Ben shook his head. “Okay Uncle Luke you’re going to freak her out.” 

 

Rey smiled. “No, he’s not. It’s okay.” Rey looked at this man and felt like he had real answers, something about him seemed so wise.

 

Luke grinned at his nephew. “See? Here is another secret, my boy, always listen to the lady.”

 

“Great,” Ben said as he rolled his eyes and chuckled, “I’m getting relationship advice from a man who may as well be a hermit on some remote island.”

 

Luke grinned at her and winked playfully at his nephew’s tone. “Just reach out and trust your instincts Rey. They will guide you. But remember, sometimes things aren’t always as they appear. Sometimes things may seem dark but they aren’t. Sometimes you have to look deeper to see the true meaning of things.” 

 

Rey puzzled at his words and watched him but couldn’t help but feel drawn in by his powerful gaze.

 

“Uncle Luke, I swear to god we can’t take you anywhere. When are you going back to your god damn ashram?” He downed his champagne in one gulp.

 

“Oh, I’m not. I’m back for the holidays. I want to spend it with my family,” he joked.

 

“Ah great, just great,” he chuckled but smiled at his uncle with affection. 

 

======================= 

 

Rey and Ben mingled through the rest of the party enjoying themselves a great deal. Everyone was lovely and friendly and welcoming, though Ben did notice that his mother had invited Gwen, who he made a point to be sure to avoid at all costs. As the evening wore on, Rey excused herself and headed to the bathroom. When exiting she paused in the hall overhearing a conversation.

 

“So, is she really an undergrad student?” asked a woman with her back towards Rey. 

 

“Yes, she is. If you can believe that,” Gwen responded, her voice dripping with disdain. 

 

Rey paused and remained hidden in the hallway as she heard Gwen’s voice and the topic of conversion … her. All those fears she had had about this night rushed back to the surface.

 

“She’s a junior and involved with Ben, who is a TA in her Literature class, though at least she's of age,” Gwen replied.

 

“Well I don’t know that it matters much, does it? Ben isn’t breaking any rules by seeing her, right? She’s over twenty-one and the University code of conduct doesn’t have anything specific against it does it?” The mystery woman seemed to offer a defense of the relationship.

 

“Not in so many words, no, but it ‘is’ frowned on,” Gwen replied. “It certainly doesn’t look good. This whole thing doesn’t look good, Carol. And as you know, appearance is everything.” 

 

“Whatever do you mean Gwen?” Carol asked.

 

“Well, I mean the girl clearly doesn’t belong here. She’s not part of our circle, Carol. She comes from nothing. That dress she’s wearing tonight, for instance, she certainly didn’t buy that for herself. Ben bought it for her. Those shoes, that bag, all from his bank account.” Gwen’s dislike of Rey couldn’t be more evident. “It’s clear she’s nothing but a social climber looking to use Ben for his money and his status.” 

 

“Gwen, I’m incredibly uncomfortable with this conversation. When I met her, Rey seemed like a perfectly nice young woman and though she may not come from our circle that doesn’t mean she’s using Ben. I don’t know what your problem is but I’m not going to stand here and engage in this kind of character assassination with you. And since you brought it up, appearance isn’t everything. If it was, it might appear from your words that you are some shrew, hmm? Have a good night.” She walked away from her.

 

“Whatever, Carol.” Gwen said after her, clearly fuming.

 

Rey stepped out from the hallway and paused and turned to looked up at Gwen, her entire body shaking with barely contained anger.  
Gwen just stared down at her. “Oh dear, did you hear that?’ She smirked, her tone dripping with malice.

 

“I don’t know who you think you are but just so you know, I’m not using Ben for his money, or for any other reason. I care about him,” Rey said pointedly.

 

“Oh really? Is that why you’re letting him spend all his money on you? That dress? Those shoes and that bag, you’re toting about like you belong with them cost at minimum two thousand dollars. But you’re not using him for his money? Please. You’re a nothing from nowhere and you think you can slip into this kind of life? He’d have to dress you for every occasion to pass you off like you belong here. What is the saying, you can’t turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse.” She rolled her eyes.

 

Rey just stood there and swallowed, she fought with all her might to not let tears rise in her eyes. The voices rose in her head screaming you’re a nothing, you’re nobody. 

 

“I have worked hard to get where I am,” she retorted, fighting for her dignity. “I’m making something of myself. Ben wanted to do this for me and I let him, that doesn’t mean I’m trying to squeeze him for his money. We want to be together because we genuinely care for each other. I care about him, I’d never use him. That woman was right, you’re just a mean-spirited shrew.” Her mind was whirling with insecurity and pain. Voices screaming at her, you don’t belong here. 

 

“Oh yes, I’m sure you do care about him. At least I’m sure you want to be together, you care about him or think you do, but you haven’t thought any of this through have you, little mouse.” Gwen’s icy blue eyes narrowed. “Do you know who is the head of the English Department? Aldous Snoke. Snoke dislikes Ben. Do you know why? Because he thinks Ben has gotten by at this school thanks to Leia. Snoke hates Leia. Why? Because Snoke covets Leia’s position in this University. He wants to be Dean. Do you think he’d hesitate to take his anger out on Ben? Do you think he’d hesitate for a moment to use this little relationship of yours and call it an indiscretion and use it against him to make him look bad, then in turn use it to make Leia look bad?” She peered down into Rey’s eyes. “Of course you hadn’t thought of any of that. You hadn’t thought of how any of this might affect Ben’s standing in the University had you?” 

 

Rey was trembling now, hands curled into fists. “There is no rule against us seeing each other. Ben said it would be fine. We talked about it,” she muttered out with a shaky breath.

 

Gwen laughed in her face. “Do you really think any of that matters? Ben doesn’t think anything through Rey, least of all when his emotions are involved. He never has. He certainly hasn’t thought about how you don’t fit into this world. He just thinks how he fits into you.” She gestured to the room.

 

Rey swallowed hard and blinked, biting back emotion. “You’re wrong. Ben would have told me about Snoke. You’re just some bitter woman who looks down her nose at people you don’t think belong in your kind of world. You’re nothing like Ben or Leia. They are kind and warm not cold and aloof like you. You’re the one that doesn’t belong with people like that.” She glared up at her, hazel eyes blazing.

 

Gwen laughed at her. “You keep telling yourself that sweetie, but we both know that isn’t the truth. We both know that you don’t belong here and that in the end, you’re going to drag Ben down into the gutter you’re trying to claw your way out of, little mouse.” 

 

Rey turned on her heel and walked away, walking with her head held high and her shoulders back until she was well away from Gwen and slipped into another hallway where she leaned against the wall, her chest heaving, her shoulders slumping as she tried to catch her breath and her eyes swam with tears.  
  
  
The voice of Unkar Plutt screamed in her head. You’re nothing. You mean nothing. That combined with her own fears and that persistent nagging voice of her own which said she could never fit into his world. All the reasons she shouldn’t be with Ben were only confirmed by Gwen, whether she wanted to believe it or not. Not only did they not belong together for social reasons but he could get destroyed in the English department. Why had she never thought of that before? A part of her seemed to hold onto Gwen’s words about Ben not thinking things through where his emotions were concerned and she worried that she was being blind to a very real danger to him. A danger that he could face because of her. Could she let that happen? She would protect him from anything as best she could but in this, was she powerless?

 

She quickly wiped at her eyes and straightened herself up and put a smile on her face and headed into the kitchen for a moment. She grabbed a passing glass of champagne and downed it in a few gulps to try to steady herself and then swung back into the parlor where Ben stood talking with his mother, Amilyn, and another gentleman she had yet to meet. She walked up to Ben and tugged him on the arm gently and said softly “Ben, can I pull you away for a moment?” 

 

Ben regarded her, his eyes noting her grave face and the redness around her eyes, easily seeing something was wrong despite her attempt to hide she’d been crying and nodded. “Of course,” he replied and turned to the others, “If you would excuse us.” 

 

He walked with her away from the party and headed out onto the terrace and into the cold evening air. “Rey, what’s wrong?” he asked in a worried tone. “Are you okay?” He looked down into her eyes and knew the answer was no.

 

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m just not feeling well. I’d really like to go home,” she lied and crossed her arms in front of her.

 

“Rey you don’t look well. What’s wrong? What happened?” He took her by the elbows and turned her to face him.

 

“Ben, I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to go home!” she said perhaps a little more loudly than she intended.

 

Ben blinked at her and nodded. “Okay. I’ll go get our coats, why don’t you slip in and head to the foyer, I’ll make our goodbyes to everyone and tell them you aren’t feeling well and that we’re heading home.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

 

As he walked to get their coats, his stomach was in knots with worry. Something was definitely wrong. His mind was spinning wondering what had happened.  
  
  
He carried their coats into the main room, said his goodbyes to his mother and Amilyn and gave their giving apologies for their swift departure. He then headed to meet Rey in the foyer and helping her on with her coat, putting his on as well. They headed out to the car and made their way home.

 

“Rey, please. Please tell me what’s the matter? I’m begging you. Why won’t you talk to me?” he pleaded with her.

 

Rey felt tears rise in her eyes. She couldn’t talk to him. She couldn’t tell him that what was wrong was the fact that she was a worthless nobody that he should have never gotten involved with and should have nothing to do with. Besides he’d end up leaving her eventually anyway. Everyone leaves. This was why she never had relationships. She knew deep down she was never good enough. She knew better then to get close to anyone. Especially someone like Ben Solo.  
  
  
Her mind was in a whirl of emotions and thoughts. Why didn’t Ben tell her about Snoke? She should just tell him that he should stay away from her for his own good because of the possibility of Snoke ruining his job in the English department or of using them to hurt Leia. She had to protect them both. They had been so kind to her, so welcoming, even if she knew she didn’t deserve it. But she knew him and he wouldn’t listen to her, he was too stubborn. No, she knew what she had to do. She had to do something drastic. 

 

“Ben, just take me to the dorm please,” she said simply.

 

“What? Rey you don’t even want to go back to my place?” he asked incredulously, his voice shaking with hurt and confusion. 

 

“No. Just take me back to the dorm,” she said with a resigned voice.

 

“Okay, but it’s just for tonight, right? I mean you’ll come over tomorrow, right? Like we planned?” he asked, his voice sounding more pleading than it should.

 

She didn’t answer him at first, just sitting there, staring straight ahead her arms crossed over her chest as she worked up her resolve. Then she finally answered, 

“No, not just for tonight. I need some time to myself.” 

 

He was stunned. He sat in silence then, his heart aching, pained, his mind overwhelmed with confusion as he drove through the streets towards the dorms and parked the car. He turned and reached for her arm. “Please. God Rey, whatever is going on don’t do this. Whatever it is we can talk it through,” he pleaded with her.

 

“I think it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore.” She made the statement with as little emotion in her voice as she could then sat in stone silence for a moment and said the fateful words. “Goodbye, Ben.” She looked at him, her eyes meeting his, a tear flowing down her cheek as she did. She swiftly stepped out of the car and closed the door behind her, moving quickly into the dorm, leaving him sitting in the driver seat stunned and in agony. 

 

“REY! Please. Don’t do this!! ” He leapt out of the driver’s seat and called after her standing beside the car. He thought of chasing her, but he knew that would only be torture. For him and for her. She made her decision, whether he understood it or not. He slipped back into his car and slumped forward, putting his head on the steering wheel as tears slipped from his eyes. He sat back then and beat at the wheel with his fists, seeking a physical release of emotional pain.

 

Rey cried all the way to her room and when she got inside, she threw herself onto her bed and sobbed even harder. She was devastated. She hated what she’d done and she hated herself for having done it, but she kept telling herself it was for the best. The tears didn’t stop until she fell into an exhausted though restless sleep. 

 

Ben didn’t remember driving home after she disappeared from sight. He had no memory of the trip or how he even got the car parked, let alone got inside his place. Whatever breakable décor that existed in his apartment didn’t survive his arrival back to his place that night. He was filled with agony and impotent rage.  
  
  
Why? Why had she done this? Why had she left him? What happened? He was certain that she loved him just as he loved her. No, they hadn’t gotten to the point of saying those words yet, but he knew those feelings were there so how? How could this have happened just when they were so happy? What happened between their time at the party when she left to find the bathroom and when she returned? He ended up on his living room floor in a heap after sobbing himself into exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooooo sorry. Our poor babies. Never fear dear readers - the tag was LIGHT-ANGST after all wasn't it? We'll see what happens next chapter.
> 
> thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- as always i don't know what i would do without her 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Ben and Rey's breakup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies. I hope you enjoy this week's chapter! We're getting closer to the end. This is chapter 12 and we only have a few more to go. The "final" chapter is chapter 14 with 15 being the epilogue. I hope this satisfies.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/43787978110/in/dateposted-public/)

Rey emailed all her professors and told them she had the flu. She didn’t go to any of her classes for a week. During that time, she was inundated with voicemails from Ben telling her that his heart still belonged to her, that it always would. He kept asking what he had done, what he could do to fix things. He was so earnest in telling her that he missed her. Sometimes it was just to say her name as all other words failed him. She listened to them over and over, but didn’t return them. She only cried harder after listening to each one. 

 

Rey couldn’t get Ben out of her thoughts. All she could do was imagine the kind of pain he was in and how it was her fault, but she kept telling herself she was doing all this for his own good. That eventually he would realize it was the right thing. Her pain seemed like it was never ending. The ache in her heart was like a deep, bottomless pit that went on and on. When a text or voicemail from Ben would arrive, a momentary solace would arrive with it just because she would hear his voice or see his words and she would smile, but then the agony would begin again with the realization that he wasn’t hers and she couldn’t respond or soothe him and all this pain was her own doing. It was a living hell. 

 

Ben texted Rey every day, multiple times a day, asking how her day was, telling her he was thinking of her, that he missed her, and the texts always sat on read. Sometimes he’d see the little dots appear as if she was going to text him back and his heart would start pounding with hope, but then they would disappear and he would be crushed all over again. 

 

Ben waffled between being so miserable that he laid in bed for days and prowling around the townhouse like a caged animal, throwing things in anger. He even tore apart a few of his books in a fit of rage one night, a true mortal sin. His heart ached in a way he didn’t even know was possible. He thought he’d felt every kind of pain in his life but this pain, this new agony, was unlike anything he’d ever experienced, this mix of confusion, rejection, longing and loss was beyond words. He felt like he was dying.

 

Finn, Rose and Poe came over to Rey’s dorm to check on her after not hearing from her for days. They tried to get her to eat, but she refused. However, Poe had a feeling if he brought her favorite Lo Mein from Wang Ho’s, she wouldn’t be able to resist the smell. After some gentle coaxing by him as he sat beside her, rubbing her back gently, she actually decided to eat. He also managed to get her to drink some water. She sobbed while Rose held her, but she refused to talk about the details of what had happened, only saying she was the one to end it and was doing this for Ben’s own good, that it was what was best for him. Finn wanted to be angry, but Rey told him it wasn’t Ben’s fault, it was hers. After Poe and Finn left, Rose got her to take a shower and put on some clean pajamas while Rose changed her sheets. Rose finally left and let Rey get some more rest, but the three of them were worried sick.

 

Hux actually used his spare key to get into Ben’s townhouse because he became concerned when Ben hadn’t answered any of his texts for nearly a week. He found the place in shambles, the broken shards of décor all over the floor, books shredded. He walked into the bedroom and found Ben burrowed under his blankets and managed to get him up. He got him to take a shower and eat something. They sat at the kitchen counter for what seemed like an hour, neither of them saying anything until Ben finally told him everything. Hux, for all his assholishness, showed an incredible amount of empathy and support, but had little in the area of advice, having never had a real relationship in his life. All he did was set about cleaning up his friend’s house of all the disastrous mess that was made, ordering take out and sitting with him in silent support while they watched Netflix together. Ben basically zoned out the whole time. 

 

The following week, both Rey and Ben returned to their classes. The fateful day came when they each had to return to Literature class. All during the class Ben couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She tried not to look at him in return, but even she kept darting her eyes up to meet his gaze. She felt tears rise in her eyes but fought them off, lowering her gaze back down to her desk. His eyes bored into her, staring into her very soul. She couldn’t wait to get out of there. When class was over, she rushed to the door but he was on his feet following her out into the hall.

 

“Rey! Rey!” he called after her.

 

She pushed past people trying to get down the hall.

 

He reached for her arm and grasped it turning her around and pressing her gently against the wall. “Rey look at me.” He looked down into her eyes. “You look terrible,” he said softly. “You look like you haven’t slept for a week.” His eyes were filled with concern. 

 

“Ben, don’t do this,” she said softly, her eyes starting to swim with tears as they cast down to the floor once more, unable to look at him for fear of being swept away with even more pain.

 

“Rey, why are you doing this? Please, Sweetheart. You won’t return my messages. You won’t answer my texts. None of this makes sense. Talk to me, please. I’m dying inside,” he begged her.

 

“Ben, stop. People are looking,” she said harshly, finding the strength to project that certainty once more.

 

“I don’t care if people are looking,” he retorted. 

 

“You have to care. You can’t be seen like this with me,” she barked back, her eyes finally meeting his of her own choice. “What about what people will say? What about Snoke!?” 

 

He furrowed his brows. “Snoke? What do you mean? Who fucking cares about Snoke? Who said anything about Snoke?” he asked her.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” She looked up at him tears slipping out of her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me how much trouble he could cause you and Leia?” she accused. 

 

“Who told you that? Rey what the hell are you talking about?” He looked confused and then the realization hit him. “Oh Rey. Rey, Rey.” The reality of what had happened crashed over him like a wave. “Please, baby tell me, tell me you didn’t let Gwen get into your head? Tell me you didn’t let that bitch get into your head at the party? Is that what this is all about? Is that what happened?” He cupped her cheeks with his large hands as tears poured down from her eyes.

 

She blinked. “Gwen, is that the tall blonde? Y-yes she told me all about how Snoke could use us to ruin you and then use it against Leia too.” She swallowed back tears. Her voice was choked with emotion. 

 

“Oh god baby, no. Please. We need to talk. Please. Will you come with me? Will you please talk to me? I’m begging you. Please, Rey?” He held her arm gently and gazed into her eyes with pleading hope.

 

She nodded to him, her head swimming with warring thoughts of what he had told her and what Gwen had told her that prompted all of this. 

 

He reached down and took her by the hand and walked with her through the halls, down the stairs and outside. He helped her on with her coat, his had been forgotten in the classroom, but the cold didn’t matter to him. They walked to his car. “Get in.” 

 

She willingly complied and slipped inside when he opened the door for her, as always.

 

He rounded the car, got behind the wheel, and started it. He drove them through the streets and began talking with her. “Rey the first thing you need to understand is Gwen Phasma really only cares about Gwen Phasma. Yes, she’s my mother’s assistant and she claims she’s looking out for my mother, but that bitch has only cared about herself for as long as I’ve known her. She’s only looking out for herself and her job. She likely thinks if something blows back on my mother, it will blow back on her,” he growled out.

 

He took a turn and headed out of town and through the winding roads up into the hills. “Gwen is an elitist snob who thinks she’s better than everyone. She doesn’t care about me, Rey. Any of this garbage she’s selling you that she’s looking out for me or my mother because of Snoke is bullshit.” He reached over to grab her hand and squeeze it while trying to keep his eyes on the road while he did. 

 

Rey sat silently, sniffing and listening, unable to formulate any kind of retort.

 

“I didn’t say anything about Snoke because I didn’t give it much thought. Yes, Snoke hates my mother because he covets her position and yes, he probably hates me too, and if he wanted too, he could give me a hard time, but I’m not worried about it.” His words carried all the sincerity of a man, confident in his convictions. 

 

“But Ben, you should be worried,” she interrupted. “He’s the head of your department and could hurt your position.” 

 

“Let me finish,” he continued. “I didn’t say anything because he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on with the disciplinary committee. There are no rules to back up any complaints he would have to bring me up on charges. Things possibly not looking good, in his opinion, doesn’t mean we’re breaking any rules. Just because he doesn’t like something doesn’t mean it’s against University policy. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Rey, Sweetheart, I would never put you in a position where you could get in real trouble and lose your scholarship. I would never put myself in a position where I could lose my job or get my mother in real difficulty as Dean. As much as I may have wanted to wait until you weren’t in my class before I pursued you, I didn’t and I’m sorry for that, but there’s a world of difference between things not looking good in his eyes, or maybe others’, and it being strictly against the rules.” 

 

Rey just sat there for a long time silently taking it all in, processing all of this new information in her mind and nodded.

 

Ben pulled into a scenic overlook, parked, and turned to look at her, reaching over to turn her body to him and hold her hands in his.  
“Does that make more sense to you now, Sweetheart?” he asked her gently. 

 

She nodded. “But she made it sound so bad. Everything she said was so convincing. And there was so much more Ben. She said so much more.” Tears were still falling down her cheeks and her eyes were still downcast.

 

“Rey, please tell me what else is going on. You look like you’re in so much pain.” 

 

She swallowed hard and raised her eyes to look at him. “Ben, it’s just … “ her voice trailed off for a moment as she tried to formulate what she wanted to say, what she needed to put into words and voice into the universe. She didn’t want to add any reality to the words, but she knew she had to. “We come from such different worlds. Gwen said more and she was right. You can’t turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse.” She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. 

 

“That bitch said that to you? I swear I’m going to murder her,” he growled out and though he appeared angry on the outside, inside his emotions reached a level of fury that might have even startled him if he took a moment to think on it rationally.

 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you, Ben. I just couldn’t bear it. I should have trusted you and told you everything. I really do come from nothing. My parents didn’t die in a drunk driving accident. They abandoned me, they dumped me on the stairs of an orphanage when I was five. They told me they’d be back. I waited all day and all night until the people at the orphanage realized I was out there alone and took me inside. My parents never came back that night. Or the next. Or the next. They never came back for me. I was put into the system. But I kept believing they’d come back for me. They told me they would. They said they’d come back for me. But they never did. They left me because they didn’t care about me. Because I was nothing.” She was crying freely now.

 

“Oh Rey,” he said softly reaching out to take her trembling hand in his.

 

“I got put into a group home when I was seven. A man named Unkar Plutt ran it. He was a hard man. Strict and cruel. He also had a scrap metal business that he ran on the side and worked us all there too, when we weren’t in school, but the government didn’t know that he did that. He worked us to the bone. If any of us threatened to tell the government what he was doing, he said he’d starve us. When we wouldn’t do our work for him or tried to stand up to him, we’d go hungry. But that wasn’t the worst part, I could take the hunger, it was his words. The constant words of him telling us we were nothing. Reminding us constantly that if anyone cared about us, if our parents ever loved us, we wouldn’t be there.” She wiped her eyes and sniffed.

 

Ben reached in his glovebox to pull out some tissues he had in there to hand to her.

 

“Between it all I vowed he wouldn’t break me. I kept a diary of days, counting them, since I’d been there, ticking them off, one by one, counting, hoping somehow beyond hope that my parents would come back to me. That kept me going. So I constantly stood up to him and I constantly went hungry but I didn’t care. He loved to pick on me because he couldn’t break me. Then the day came when he really wanted to hurt me, he found my diary and threw it at my feet. He told me he knew that I was counting, waiting for my parents to come back but they were never coming back because they died six months after I was put into care of a heroin overdose and were buried in a government grave. I never felt more empty or alone in my life. After that I vowed I was going to make it out of there, but those words they stuck Ben.” Her pained eyes met his gaze as if she could make him understand the sadness through their gaze alone. “They stuck. Those words still live there, in my head. All the time,” she sobbed. “That I’m nothing. Gwen just reminded me of all of that. That I had no place in your world.” 

 

He grabbed her hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “Oh, Sweetheart.” He pulled her into his arms, held her tightly, rocked her back and and comforted her. “I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. All that suffering and pain.” 

 

Rey clung to him like a lifeline, letting a lifetime of feelings of inadequacy and pain pour out of her.

 

He felt so much rage inside for all the suffering she was put through, for the people who hurt her, for those who caused her so much agony. For her parents, who abandoned her like she was nothing. For Unkar Plutt, who he wanted to kill with his bare hands, but he knew that he couldn’t give into that rage right now. He needed to support and comfort his beloved and that is all that mattered. He needed to be there for her and show her how much she matters. How precious and special she was. 

 

He pulled her back so he could look into her eyes, wiping her tears from her face gently. “But Rey, darling, you can’t listen the voices of people like Gwen. You can’t listen to those ugly voices inside your head telling you you’re nothing and nobody. You can’t listen to those lies you were told growing up. Think of the voices of people who love you. Think of the voices of Finn and Rose and Poe. Think of who you are to them. They’re your best friends. You mean the world to them. They think you’re fantastic. They believe in you, don’t they? They see worth in you, right?” he asked gently.

 

She nodded and sniffed. “Yeah. Yeah they do.”

 

“And they love you and would do anything for you.” He added gently. “Wouldn’t they?” 

 

“Yeah, they would.” She concurred again.

 

“So, to them, you’re not nobody, you’re not nothing,” he reassured her.

 

“That’s true.” She nodded gently. 

 

“Rey, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known. You’ve brought light and balance into my life when there was so much darkness and you fill my heart with joy and light. You’ve survived so much difficulty and been treated so harshly in life and yet somehow you remain so kind and generous. You’re brilliant, fearless, selfless and loyal. Rey, you have to try to stop listening to that Unkar Plutt voice in your head and realize that that voice is a liar. You’re not nothing. You need to try to believe the voice in your head that tells you that you’re special, that tells you how strong you are, how far you’ve come. The voice that tells how you can do anything. That tells you how much you matter. That tells you that you are as good as anyone else. That you are equal to anyone else in this world. Rey, you’re not nothing. Not to me. To me, you’re everything. You’re everything to me Rey Kenobi.” He reached over and lifted her face up to his and looked into her eyes. “And I love you, I love you with all my heart and I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.” 

 

She started sobbing harder and he tugged her back into his arms and held her tightly and she pressed her face into his neck and clung to him with all she could and murmured. “I love you too, Ben. I love you so much.”

 

==================== 

 

He drove them back to his place, holding hands all the way. The car was filled with a sweet gentle energy made of the power of the declaration of truth with what they’d just shared with each other. When they got to his place, he actually carried her into his house bridal carry style, like she was the most cherished thing in the world and he never wanted to let her go. He never wanted to be parted from her. 

 

He somehow managed to get the door open without letting her down and carried her into the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. He looked down at her then leaned over her and kissed her lips softly. 

 

“I’m going to go draw us a bath,” he said to her, his lips curling into a tender smile. “I think we could both use a nice hot soak, what do you think?” 

 

She nodded her head and smiled. “That sounds really nice.” She sat up and tugged off her coat and tossed it on the floor then undid her boots and let them fall on the floor. All that crying had worn her out, but at the same time she felt such relief and exhilaration. She’d shared her truth with him. All of it and he’d accepted her. He loved her and she loved him and they were together. They had pushed passed Gwen’s manipulation and Rey was honest about her past, insecurity, pain and all her fears. She was finally honest with him and trusted him with everything. 

 

Without trust there can be no love. Those words from the myth of Eros and Psyche came back to her and she suddenly realized how true they were. Hadn’t she been the one to tell Ben how important trust was and yet she was the one all along who couldn’t trust him? Look how that almost destroyed them. She wouldn’t have blamed him at all for just walking away and turning his back on her after what she’d done, and yet, he didn’t. He showed her what it meant to love and be loved.

 

Ben came back in from the bathroom and looked down at her as she lay on the bed and smiled as he sat down beside her. He brushed a hand over her face and hair tenderly. “I missed you so much, I thought I was dying inside.” 

 

“I felt the same way. I’m so sorry, Ben,” she said in a whisper.

 

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. It’s okay.” He leaned down and kissed her lips, reached to pull her to sit up, looked to her shirt and reached for the buttons. “May I?” he asked in a quiet tone.

 

She simply nodded her assent as she looked up into his eyes.

 

He took his time with each button, slowly revealing her body to him, easing her out of her shirt and bra, leaving a trail of reverent kisses on her flesh as he did. Her jeans and panties were removed next and those kisses continued down her hips and thighs, her calves and feet. 

 

He shucked off his clothing quickly, scooped her up and carried her into the bathroom. He helped her into the large tub where he followed her in. He eased down behind her, pulling her to him, her back to his front, holding her tightly in an intimate embrace, the hot water surrounding them. 

 

“This feels so good,” she said as she leaned her head back to rest on his shoulder.

 

“Good. I’m glad. I want you to feel good. That’s all I want for you.” His hands began to move slowly over her body in the hot soapy water, caressing her tenderly, massaging her.

 

She let out a low purring sound, her eyes drifting closed as she allowed herself to simply feel the pleasure.

 

“I missed your hands on me, your arms around me. I would lay in bed and feel so empty,” she admitted to him.

 

“Well you don’t have to feel that way anymore, not ever again, Sweetheart, not ever again,” he reassured her. “I felt empty too, though, so I understand what you mean. It was so hard being apart from you,” he admitted. “I’m just glad it didn’t go on any longer. I agonized about whether I should come and bang on your door and beg for you to let me in. But I thought that would be too much and would only make you more resolved.” 

 

She ran her hands over his thighs gently. “Thank you. Thank you for respecting my choice, at least giving me the distance and space I needed so that I could think. Even though you did chase me down in the hallway after class. Though I’m so glad you did.” She turned her head and kissed his jaw.

 

“I’m sorry. I saw you in class and you looked so sad and I could tell that this breakup was hurting you as much as it was hurting me and none of this made sense to me so I had to talk to you.” He raised his hands to gently massage her stomach and then down over her thighs and back up.

 

“Well you were right. It was killing me. I kept telling myself I was doing the right thing, staying away for your own good. That it was the right thing for both of us. But my heart was broken.” 

 

“Mine too.” 

 

“I guess that is what happens when you try to separate two people who are in love,” she said with a smile and sat up and turned to look into his eyes. “Tell me again?” she asked.

 

“I love you, Rey Kenobi.” He cupped her cheeks tenderly.

 

“I love you, Ben Solo,” she murmured happily.

 

She turned her body and slowly moved to slot her legs over his hips, the water sloshing around them as she did. She ran her hands slowly up his wet body, caressing his firm abs and over his large muscled chest, watching as she did, admiring his beautiful form.

 

“You know how much I adore your body,” she said with a sigh.

 

“Hrmmm I think I have some idea,” he chuckled a bit.

 

“Good, I’m glad. I missed being close to you, I missed feeling you near me, I missed touching you so much.” She moved her hands up to his strong shoulders as her moistened hands moved over them, her eyes trailing over the muscles there.

 

Ben moved his large hands around her narrow waist and slid them around her to splay over her back and over her buttocks. He grasped her tightly there, pulling her closer to him, trapping his hardened cock between them, pressing her close . He leaned down then and captured her mouth with his, desperately needing to taste her. 

 

Her lips were full and damp and so luscious. His lips brushed over hers softly at first, as if just exploring them for the first time, closed mouthed and seeking. His tongue slipped out and swiped teasingly at her lower lip asking for entrance and she gently opened to him. His tongue slipped in and her own welcomed him and swirled with his passionately. They slickly danced together creating such sensual rhythm while their bodies began to slowly move against one another, Rey grinding her body gently against him. 

 

He released her lips. One of Ben’s hands moved up to her lower back, his large hand spanning nearly the entire thing, the other to her shoulder and bent her slowly backwards. His eyes had missed the sight of her and so his gaze swept down along her slender form. That delicate neck and those perfect breasts had been ingrained in his mind already, but the memory paled to finally seeing her again. He leaned down and swept his tongue over one hardened nipple. He loved the feel of that firm bit of flesh against his tongue as he swirled around it, leaving it glistening with the signs of his attention. He pressed into her more and captured her nipple with his desirous mouth and suckled fervently on it with a low growl.

 

Rey’s body bowed and her head fell back as she let out a low gasp. “Ahh Ben, yes.” Her hands curling tightly on his shoulders, nails digging in gently. Just as he had missed her, she had missed his touch. Those lips on her once more were an incredible sensation, and one that she was going to allow herself to revel in.

 

His teeth grazed over her nipple and he bit down gently on it and suckled more and then lapped and kissed over to her other breast and did the same, hungrily and eagerly feasting on it. He wanted her, needed her so badly. It was a more potent feeling than even their first time had been. Desire was strong when one had never experienced something before, but having experienced her and then been denied, his desire was far more potent and yet, it was tempered and honed by the deep emotional need he felt for her.

 

“I’ve missed you so much Rey,” he murmured into her damp skin, pulling her up and pressing his cheek to her chest and holding her to him. “Please don’t ever leave me again,” he said, his voice almost breaking.

 

She wrapped her arms around his head and held him tightly. “I won’t. I won’t leave you,” she muttered softly. “I promise.” She leaned down and kissed the top of his head as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

 

He raised his head to look in her eyes and she could see the unshed tears there as he looked at her and he just stared into her eyes. He nodded, swallowed and then pulled her into his embrace and clung to her tightly as she did him. 

 

================= 

 

She pressed his body down on the bed and slowly crawled over him. She began brushing kisses on his long, muscled legs at his knee where she spread them gently, though insistently, and kissed up the inside of his thigh with slow, delicate touches of her soft lips. She moved up to his hip flexor and then his abdomen.

 

“Oh god Rey,” he purred out. “Your lips feel so good on me.” He tried to hold himself still so as to allow her to do as she wished though his mind was plagued by the understanding of just how aroused he was and how she made him ache and twitch for her, especially when that very talented mouth of hers was so very close to his cock.

 

She gently moved her lips to work over his abdomen, a slow delicious travel up his body. She wanted to show how devoted she was to him with each kiss she placed on his flesh. As she moved, her own body teasingly brushed against his manhood, letting it trail over her body. She reveled in the feel of it, the silken covered steel that carried such warmth to it. She grinned just a bit as her kisses moved up and she felt his impressive shaft resting between her breasts and she knew that must be a sensation that drove him wild with need.

 

He lifted his head to watch her, his eyes dreamily studying her as she tended him so perfectly. His hands reached for her to massage her shoulders as she kissed him and run his fingers through her hair gently massaging her head. As he felt his cock trail along her chest, between those pert and perfect breasts, he let out a low groan and couldn’t resist rolling his hips just a bit to rub himself against her.

 

This was a sensual reunion, a reconnection of the body and the spirit and though the physical feelings were maddening and teasing, both knew instinctively that this was far more.

 

She kissed up further, her mouth reaching his neck where she licked and nibbled and sucked leaving a dark love bite, marking him as her own. For a moment, she worried about such a mark, her mind starting to play those tricks on her again, but his voice quickly snapped her back into the present where those concerns were irrelevant.

 

He moaned out lowly “Yes Rey, mark me, I’m yours.” His hand reached up and cupped the back of her neck as she lingered at his throat.

 

“You’re mine, always. Mine, Ben. Only mine,” she groaned out, biting down possessively. She felt such a jolt of sensual power run through her. How could she have ever let that bitter bitch Gwen get in her head?

 

She sat up and moved down and lowered her dripping wet pussy on his hard cock, pressing it down and slowly dragging herself over it, slowly back and forth, slicking him with her juices as she watched him as his eyes glazed with pleasure. She kept her eyes on his as she moved so erotically atop him. It was slow and smooth, the connection between their bodies though the connection between their hearts, reflected in the gaze they shared was intense and wild. “God, have I missed you,” she said in a low, needful tone.

 

His hands reached for her hips and grasped her, fingers digging in slightly, though he made no effort to change what she was doing, he just simply needed his hands on her. Each slow sensual move on her part was met by an equally slow and tender move on his as his hips pressed up to meet her as she slowly prepared his body for what was to come next.

 

“Oh fuck, Rey. You’re so fucking beautiful,” he gasped out. “Looking at your body above me like that, I never imagined in all my life I could see anything so perfect.” He rocked himself up moving his cock against her as she slid her pussy over him. It was the perfect imitation of the act they both desired and yet he wasn’t sheathed within her yet. He reached over towards the night stand where he kept the condoms.

 

“You’re beautiful too, I love you so much.” She felt tears glisten in her eyes and leaned forward, her hand reaching up to stop his as he reached for the nightstand drawer. “No. Please” she said with almost a soft, begging tone, “I want to be one with you, truly. Nothing between us.” 

 

Ben was surprised but relaxed his arm from its quest as he spoke softly to her. “Are you sure, love?” 

 

“Yes, I’m sure. No condom. I’m on the pill, it’s okay. I want to feel you inside me, just us, nothing separating us. I want to feel you cum inside me,” she whispered out her lips hovering near his ear as she stretched over him. Her voice carried such a low husky tone.

 

“God, Rey, if you’re sure. I’m clean, I swear,” he murmured.

 

“Me too,” she said softly as she rose up and took his cock in her hand and lined it up with her entrance. Her eyes locked with his, wanting to see his expression as he entered her and wanting him to see the love she felt for him reflected in her eyes at that same time. She slowly moved him between her folds, that act sending pleasure through each of them, and eased down on his tip to feel her body spreading to accommodate him. It was always a glorious feeling, that stretching she felt when they first joined. Slowly, she sank down on his long, thick length, letting out a long, pleasured exhale, feeling him stretch her and fill her so perfectly.

 

“Oh, fuck Rey, you’re so tight, so tight, hot and perfect around me,” he rasped out.

 

Her hands moved to press on his chest as she adjusted to his size filling her so deeply and looked into his eyes as she leaned forward gently. “And you are perfect inside me, Ben.” She whispered the words with such aching sensuality. “My Ben. All mine.” She sat still for a long moment and then slowly began to move, a gentle rocking motion, easing her dripping wet pussy over his hard cock, taking him as deep as he could go and feeling him pressing up against her uppermost wall.

 

Ben was enraptured with sensation feeling her tight, hot we core caressing him and moving over his cock as he looked up at her gloriously beautiful body moving atop him. His large hands tightened around her hips, digging in as he helped her move in a gentle rhythm. “Yes, love. Yours. Just as you are mine.” He growled out the last word as he pressed his hips up against her in punctuation of his declaration.

 

“Oh love, don’t stop. You feel so good.” He slid his hand along her hip and over her abdomen before moving it down to gently caress her clit, working it slowly, his thumb moving in slow circles, giving her more pleasure.

 

“I won’t stop. I won’t stop Ben. I want to be so close to you, as close as I can get,” she groaned out as she rode him, her hips rolling tenderly as she savored each slow and steady plunge upon him. 

 

Ben’s mind swam with the sensations that were being brought to him physically, but even more with the emotions that washed over him. He never knew he could feel like this, accepted, fulfilled, desired and so fully desirous and devoted to another. He has been starved his whole life for this feeling, he’s spent all his days longing for this kind of belonging, for this connection with someone, for this kind of love. All his life he had been alone, cut off from everyone until now. Now he finally understood what it meant to be one with someone and to find balance. Feeling himself inside her, he knew what it was to find a home. She was his home. She wasn’t his first. He had thought many times over his life since that first time, about how things went, and truthfully, he was glad he wasn’t that fumbling boy with her. She deserved better than that. She deserved to feel wanted and desired and loved and cherished and he was damn sure going to make sure she always felt those things. No, she wasn’t his first but so long as he had anything to do with it, she would be his last, his only from this point forward.

 

Rey rocked her body on his, working herself over him, rolling her hips atop him as he worked her clit, her hands grasping his chest as she leaned forward, pressing herself down onto him more swiftly, finding a faster rhythm with more force. She was filled with need and the desire to feel their connection deepen even more through this coupling. He thrust his cock upward, deeper inside her as he found himself unable to resist giving into the need his body felt, the need to claim her just as she was claiming his. He reached up to caress her breasts as they gently bounced as she moved herself on his cock.  
  
  
She gasped out with a cry. “Oh god Ben, so good. Harder. Harder, please.” 

 

He smiled as he saw her head fall back and did as he wished, snapping his hips upward, thrusting his cock upward deeper into her tight, wet pussy as she rolled herself around him. One strong hand moved to grip her hip, to hold her down on him and guide her rhythm but the other reached up and cupped her throat. He didn’t squeeze hard. This wasn’t about cutting off her breathing, it was simply about possession and desire. She gasped as she felt his hand on her throat and felt herself grow wetter still as he held her and fucked her so perfectly.

 

“That’s it, Sweetheart, you’re so good,” he groaned out. “You look so beautiful up there, I love watching you.” 

He kept thrusting up inside her while she dug her fingers into his chest and pushed herself down, impaling herself onto him as they rushed furtively towards their climaxes. Their bodies began to become slick with sweat as they each took the other, each giving as good as they got. Their eyes maintained contact with one another as best they could with neither wanting to break that connection they held.

 

Ben finally couldn’t take it anymore and with her held by hip and throat, he rolled her over on her back and looked down at her with a growl and a wickedly sensual grin. 

 

“You’re mine Rey, mine. Always.” He thrust back inside her and began to work himself harder and harder inside her. He had released her throat and her hip, his hands reaching up to grasp the headboard of the bed to add leverage as his hips crashed wildly into her.

 

Rey felt a powerful connection with him she didn’t know she could ever feel. A safety she didn’t believe existed. She felt understood and truly accepted and loved. A home. She found she actually believed in love and she knew somehow that she could face anything. She found that she could actually believe in herself in a way she never did before. As their bodies moved together, she felt healing move through her in a miraculous way. She gasped out as he flipped her onto her back and rose up above her to take control of their love-making. She loved how forceful he could become in these times and she could already see it in his eyes.

 

Her legs wrapped around him tightly and her arms slipped around his back as her nails dug into his shoulders and urged him on, letting him take her small body. She knew all his fear and distress from their time apart was driving his body now, and she loved it because it was helping her drive out her own fears and insecurities.

 

“Yes. Yes yours,” she panted out as he fucked her harder and faster. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop. I’m so close, Ben. So close.” 

 

“That’s it baby, cum for me. Cum for me Sweetheart. Let me hear you scream,” he urged her as his strong hands gripped the headboard more tightly, the muscles in his arms, chest and abdomen tensing with each thrust into her.

 

“Oh god … oh god … Ben … BEN!” she screamed out into the room as she arched her back and her body clenched around his cock possessively.

 

Feeling her tighten around him as he thrust inside her was all he needed to set him off. He cried out her name, “REY! FUCK, REY!” and exploded inside her. His body shook, his hips seemingly working on their own as he pushed into her several more times, each releasing another jet of semen within her. They could both feel himself emptying inside her, a new sensation for each of them. She could already feel some of it being forced out of her, the result of him being so worked up by her. 

 

It was an incredible feeling for them both, something so raw and intimate. She clutched him to her as he collapsed on top of her panting, pressing his face into her neck, his arms working under her to cradle her neck as he held her tightly, his body still trembling in excitement

 

Tears filled his eyes as he nuzzled into him. He was overwhelmed with emotion as he kissed her sweat slicked neck. He’d never known completion like this. Love filled his heart in a way he didn’t think existed in this world. 

 

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” he murmured into her neck.

 

“I love you too, Ben. Always,” she whispered to him.

 

“Always,” he answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well ? ? Did I do them justice? Are you guys happy ?? I hope so. *mwah* 
> 
> thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- as always i don't know what i would do without her 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben finally meets Rey’s friends, Ben and Rey start their enjoyment of the holidays (and later, Ben and Rey can’t seem to keep their hands off each other).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at Chapter 13, only one more to go and then the Epilogue. Can't believe we're here lovelies. I hope you're enjoying as much as I am.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/30741585127/in/dateposted-public/)

They spent the next week at Ben’s place only leaving the house to go to classes and getting the essentials—and that was hardly at all, ordering take-out most of the time. They spent their time, that wasn’t spent having to do homework or Ben’s work for classes, eating, making love, soaking in the tub, showering, cuddling and telling each other how much they loved each other. It was like some kind of precious bubble of bliss they didn’t want to come out of. They knew they’d have to come out eventually, of course, but for just this little bit of time, they wanted to exist in this singular world where it was only them. The December cold snap had hit hard and it only gave them more reason to stay in and snuggle by the fire in Ben’s home. 

 

Of course, they had to tell their loved one’s that things were better and that they were back together and happy, which came as a great relief to everyone. Rose and Poe were thrilled. Even Finn was what one would call pleased about it because Rey was not in pain anymore. He’d never seen Rey as happy as she’d been with Solo and so he had to admit that Ben was good for her. But the pain she was in when they broke up, well he never wanted to see her go through that again. Not ever. So, if they were back together and she was happy, well that’s all he wanted for her. Happiness. Though it still gnawed at him that Ben was her TA and how their relationship started. He just seemed to not be able to get over that little detail.

 

Hux of course, despite his being a perpetual curmudgeon, was happy for his best friend, though he thought he was an idiot for falling so madly in love and worried that he’d only get his heart broken again. Still, he couldn’t deny that Solo was one of those guys who needed love in his life. He’d always been rudderless, looking for something to fill an empty place in his heart and Rey certainly seemed to do that. So, more power to him. Hux could be happy for him and support him. After all, he wasn’t that big of an asshole not to support his best friend, now was he. 

 

Ben did leave the house for one very important thing however. Ben told Leia how Gwen treated Rey at the party and what disaster it caused. He set it up so they could confront Gwen about her behavior at Leia’s office, making sure every single word of what she’d said to Rey was brought to light. Gwen tried to wiggle her way out of it, trying to make herself sound altruistic, but to no avail. Leia was horrified by Gwen’s behavior and fired her on the spot, making it clear she didn’t want someone with her kind of attitude representing her at the college nor did she want to associate with her in her personal life. She told Gwen she was going to do everything in her power to see that she would be blackballed in their social circle as well. Ben had never been more satisfied to see the look of horror on Gwen’s face as she finally faced consequences for her horrid behavior in life. She tried to walk out of Leia’s office with her head held high but defeat could clearly be seen in those cold crystal blue eyes. When Ben went home to tell Rey of what had happened, she was so thankful and felt a sense of relief and true justice having been served, but then all she wanted was to put it in the past where it belonged. They both did. 

 

=============================

 

Later that week, Rey sat on the sofa staring into the fire, her body snuggled up against Ben’s, a hot toddy in her hand, sipping gingerly as she turned to him. “I think we should have everyone over, so you can get to know them.” 

 

Ben only let out a low humming sound as he sipped his whiskey and considered what she said.

 

“Ben, seriously, I want you to meet Finn, Poe and Rose. They’re my best friends and you are the man I love. I’ve met Hux, even if it was only for a few minutes,” she retorted.

 

“You’re right. Of course you’re right, but I get the feeling that they’re not particularly happy with our relationship.” He turned and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

 

“That’s not true,” she murmured. 

 

“Oh really?” He arched a brow and smirked though she wasn’t able to see his expression as she stared into the fire and sipped her drink.

 

“Well okay, maybe Finn has a somewhat negative opinion about you and our relationship, but I think he’s coming around. Poe is pretty positive about it, being a natural romantic and Rose is definitely on board.” 

 

“Well that makes me feel a lot better. So, what do you suggest as far as meeting them? What kind of setting?” he queried. “Do you really think having them over here is the best idea? No distractions whatsoever? You know they’ll likely grill me with questions, especially after our break-up.” 

 

Rey sighed out, “They know that was my doing, they don’t blame you for any of that, I promise.” 

 

“Still, they know you went through a lot of pain and part of that had to do with our relationship. They know that it was because of our differing social standings and likely because of me being your literature TA. Plus, even though they may not know what Gwen said to you Rey, it still guts my heart that she was able to dig inside you and bring you such pain. I still want to murder her,” he said with a growl. 

 

“I know you do and I’m realizing that I need to just let that go, to see myself like you do and not let that bullshit get to me, the whole social status stuff. You’ve never seen me as any different than you, you’ve never looked at me as any different, so why should I?” she affirmed. 

 

“I know you say that but I also know it’s not easy. People are assholes and they’ll act like assholes, so sometimes it will be awkward, but if you remember how amazing you are and go with a ‘fuck them’ attitude, it will be easier. I’ve kind of lived my life with that attitude,” he chuckled.

 

“Yeah. Fuck them,” she chuckled back. “I’ve certainly said that enough about people, maybe it’s about time I learned to live it.”

 

“That’s my girl.” He kissed the top of her head again.

 

“Are you trying to change the subject?” she tilted her head to look up at him. “We were talking about you meeting Finn and the others.” 

 

“No. We were talking about how our relationship’s beginning affects what it will be like when I meet Finn and the others, so no subject change here Rey,” he answered honestly. 

 

She nodded her head in acceptance of what he said. “Well, why don’t we meet at McGee’s? Have some food and drinks? That will be more casual, right? Maybe Hux could even come?” 

 

Ben chuckled. “I don’t think we need to throw Hux and his attitude into the mix for this, if I’m being honest. It’s going to be complicated enough, and you know he can be a prick. Add that to them already likely thinking I’m a prick, and that’s just the recipe for disaster.” 

 

“They do not think you’re a prick,” she protested.

 

He rolled his eyes. “Rey, please. Please let’s just be honest. Remember how you thought about me in the beginning?” 

 

“I know, I know but they now know you through my eyes Ben, they know how I feel about you and what I’ve told them about you. I want them to meet you and to get to know you. We can’t just spend all our time huddled up in here together, you know, we have to get out there and interact with others. It’s time.” She kissed his cheek softly.

 

“I know,” he sighed softly, “and I agree.” He nodded his head resolutely then and allowed a slight smile to creep across his expression. “Okay. Set something up. We’ll go to McGee’s. We both know it’s a nice place with a good atmosphere and it will give us an opportunity to have some food and drinks, keep the mood light and hopefully no one will want to kill me.” 

 

She elbowed him in the side.

 

“Ooof. Okay, okay, I’m just kidding.” He laughed. 

 

==================== 

 

Their Uber let them out at the curb outside of McGee’s, neither of them wanting to walk the several blocks from Ben’s place due to the December cold. They huddled inside, Ben pulling off Rey’s coat and then his own, hanging them on one of the many brass hooks available. 

 

Rey looked around and saw Poe, Rose and Finn sitting at a large table at the back of the bar waiting on them. She raised her hand as they approached. “Hi guys.” Her smile was wide.

 

“Ben, this is Finn, his boyfriend Poe, and their roommate Rose.” She spoke with such pride and joy about her friends. She then spoke with equal pride regarding Ben. “Guys, this is Ben.” She said it as if she were proving that he even existed or that he was the greatest revelation in the world. In truth, it was simply because she was feeling truly accomplished getting them all in the same room.

 

Rose beamed a smile up at him. “Hey Ben, it is so great to finally meet you. Rey has said so many great things about you. Frankly, she never stops talking about you.” 

 

Rey blushed a bit “Okay Rose, that’s enough!” She let out a slightly embarrassed laugh.

 

“Well it’s true,” Rose chuckled.

 

“Hello, Rose. It’s very nice to meet you,” Ben replied and shook her hand.

 

Finn and Poe both stood up and held their hands out, one after the other, to greet Ben.

 

Ben took Finn’s first and shook it and then Poe’s. Poe smiled warmly and moved to sit but Finn’s gaze lingered on Ben’s strongly, his eyes were a little sharp in their look. 

 

“It’s good to meet all of you. I’m really glad we’re able to finally do this. Rey has told me so much about each of you.” Ben moved to pull out a chair for Rey and helped her sit and then he sat as well. 

 

Rey nodded her head gently. “Yeah I can’t believe it’s taken this long, but with all of us and our classes and Ben and his work and things, it’s just been really hard to find the time.” 

 

Finn smirked a bit. “Yeah it’s pretty hard with Ben and his work and you and your classes. You know how they collide and oh, how they blend together too, like they do.” 

 

Rey froze and swallowed. She couldn’t fucking believe that he would bring that up right away like that, just drop that bomb right in the middle of the table like that right off the bat.

 

Rose punched Finn in the thigh under the table.

 

Poe turned and looked at Finn with wide eyes and mouthed at him ‘What the fuck?’

 

Ben raised his hand to the waitress. “How about we order some drinks, you guys need some refills?” he said deftly trying to avoid the massive bomb in the room that Finn just decided to drop in the middle of the table.

 

Poe spoke up then, “That sounds great.” 

 

Rey was horrified that Finn would do that and glared at him from across the table. “Alright Finn, fine, just fine if that’s how you want to play it. You want to get that out of the way before we actually have any kind of decent socialization tonight, let’s do it.” 

 

Finn looked abashed, like he really didn’t mean to say it. It just flew out of his mouth before he knew what he was saying. “No, I’m sorry Peanut, I just. It’s just the situation, I just…“ He sighed and shook his head. “It’s always bothered me. Fuck. I’m sorry.” 

 

Ben spoke up then. “No Finn, I understand. I can see why you’d be concerned and upset given that you’re Rey’s best friend. I’m her TA and I got involved with her as one of my students. Look, technically, it’s not against school policy but it could look inappropriate. I get it. I know why you might object. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry if by my pursuing Rey made you worry for her or made you angry at me for doing it. I hope you can get over that and we can try to be friends and if not friends, friendly acquaintances, if for nothing else than Rey’s sake.” 

 

Finn nodded. He knew he was wrong and Ben’s reaction, his understanding, made it all a bit more clear what a colossal ass he had been about the situation. “Yeah man, of course. I’m sorry I said anything about it. That was really wrong of me to blurt it out like that. I’ve always been over-protective of Rey and I guess I was just pissed off about it from the beginning and I had been holding that back.” He turned and looked at Rey. “I’m sorry Peanut. Let’s just enjoy this night.” 

 

Rey nodded and smiled. “It’s okay Finn, I know you’ve always been over-protective and I love you for it.” 

 

Poe and Rose exchanged glances at each other and let out sighs of relief and smiled.

 

“Drinks, we need copious amounts of liquor over here,” Poe called out to the waitress with a laugh.

 

Rey and Ben looked at each other and sighed squeezing each other’s hands under the table.

 

=================== 

 

The liquor had been flowing for a while, off-set some by the food, remnants of which could be seen in the scattered remains of appetizers and meals on plates around the table. They ate and drank and the stories were coming as fast and welcome as the refills.  
Finn, Poe and Rose were all very gregarious, especially since they were several drinks in and of course, they loved to tell stories, but Ben actually got in on the action as well. 

 

“So, my father took me up in his plane and I kept telling him I wasn’t feeling well but he was like ‘tough it out son, you’ll be fine, you’re going to love it,” Ben mimicked Han’s gruff voice perfectly, “And I was like ‘no dad I really don’t feel well’ but no, he’s Han Solo, ace pilot and all around bad ass, and so of course his son is going to be like that too, right? Well, unfortunately it wasn’t going to go that way – I ended up puking all over the place and stinking up the plane. It was just a disaster. We had to come down for an early landing and that was the last time I went flying.” Ben laughed. “So that is why flying is not for me, my friends, at least not in small aircraft.” 

 

Rey’s hand massaged Ben’s thigh under the table. 

 

They all were laughing and downing what was likely their fourth or fifth beer after putting away burgers and fries. It was going better than Rey could have hoped.

 

“Man, that sucks. I’ve always wanted to fly in one of those small planes. It looks like it would be fun.” Poe said. “Like being a bird or a leaf on the wind.” 

 

Finn laughed, catching Poe’s reference. “Okay, Wash. You’re not going to be a leaf on the wind.”

 

“Hey, it might be for someone else. I’m not faulting anyone for liking it or wanting to try it, it’s just not for me.” Ben shrugged. 

 

Rose shook her head. “I just think it’s amazing that you even got to go up in one of those planes. Most people don’t get to do things like that growing up.” 

 

Ben nodded. “Well, that’s true. I was really privileged growing up, no doubt. My mother is really big into philanthropy and I feel like, now, the scales have finally been removed from my eyes.” He lifted one hand in the air and casually gestured around. “I’m seeing the world differently now and I really want to give back. I was living in this bubble until Rey came into my life and changed everything.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. “I want to make a huge difference in this world. Make it a better place.” 

 

“Ben, my love, I think you’re pretty buzzed,” she chuckled.

 

“Well, so are you,” he said, smiling.

 

“We all are,” Poe said with a laugh and raised his beer in the air. 

 

Rose giggled happily and raised her beer as well then took a big sip. 

 

Finn sat and watched Rey and Ben together and pondered. He was assured then that the two of them were really happy together and it did his heart good. He had believed it before, but seeing them together for the first time, truly convinced him. He knew he could just let go of his worries now and let his best friend be happy. 

 

The mood was light and it was as if they had all known one another for years, even with Ben. This night had truly become more than Rey could have imagined and as she looked around, she felt her heart warmed by the ‘family’ that surrounded her. That’s what they were, in truth. Her family. That emptiness that had always been within her from being abandoned felt a bit less deep, a bit less bleak than it had before. 

 

Finn began another tale. “When I got my first summer job here, I ran into a real crisis of conscience. I had to really put my money where my mouth was regarding my beliefs. I told myself, no way am I going to be part of an organization that supports some fucked up shit. I actually believe in climate change, thank you. I didn’t realize when I signed on to work for First Order Industries for a summer internship that they were behind funding some of the anti-climate change candidates running. That’s actually how Poe and I ended up meeting. After I left the First Order job, I went to work on a political campaign” 

 

Poe nodded and jumped in, “Yup. When I met Finn, I was so into him but I was convinced he thought I was this creepy older guy. Finn never gave me any sign he was into me. We were working together at the campaign headquarters of Congressman Gial Ackbar, and he was always making sure he was so busy and whenever I would interact with him he would try to hurry away. What I didn’t realize was he was completely crushing on me and was just too shy to show it.” He laughed and looked over at Finn and the embarrassed expression on his face. “It wasn’t until I worked up the courage to ask him out for coffee that he finally admitted he’d been thinking about me. And, as they say, the rest, is history.” Poe reached his hand out and took Finn’s. “We’ve been together ever since.” 

 

Rose smiled as she recalled the day Finn and Poe finally connected. “I still remember the day Finn came back to our apartment telling me you’d finally asked him out. I was so damned relieved because you were all he could talk about.” She laughed. “It was as bad as Rey talking about Ben.”

 

Rey looked at Rose then. “Now all we need to do is get you fixed up with someone.” 

 

Rose rolled her eyes. “Oh no. No thank you. I am not interested in tying myself down with someone right now. I like playing the field and being free and easy. I’m a wild flower floating in the breeze, thank you very much,” she giggled.

 

Rey laughed. “But wait, isn’t that how you and Finn met in the first place?” 

 

Rose chuckled. “Yup, I came onto him at a frat party and we became buddies even though we didn’t hit it off that way and decided to room together. Then he introduced me to you and we became the three musketeers, even though you refused to give up your damn dorm room and move in with us.” She stuck out her tongue at Rey playfully. “Then Poe came along and became our very own d'Artagnan.” 

 

Ben smiled as he watched them all interact. He realized how special they all were and how happy he was that Rey had these great people in her life. He could see how much they cared about her. He also found himself hoping that he could become a part of this somehow, even if it was just at a cursory level, this deep bond they shared. He’d never really had a friend circle and he realized how nice that would actually be. Sure, he had Hux and as far as best friends went, that was pretty great, but that was also really the only person he counted as a friend and something like this would be amazing to him. He reached over, wrapped his arm around Rey, leaned in, pressed his nose to her ear and whispered , “I love you. Thank you for setting this up. They’re great.” 

 

She turned her head. “I love you too. I’m so glad you’re here.” 

 

================= 

 

The semester came to a quiet, unceremonious end. Ben walked Rey out from Lit class on the last day and she looked up at him with a smile knowing full well what that meant. No more worries in the least of what anything might ‘look like’ about them seeing each other. It was a huge relief for both of them. She smiled up at him and he winked at her as they parted and she headed for her next class but they both knew what a big deal this was for them. They were in the clear now, everything was open to them and all the pressure was off. Their future was finally their own.

 

They decorated Ben’s place for the holidays. Rey helped Ben pick out a beautiful menorah and as he lit the candles each night, he felt slivers of long-lost faith slip back into his soul, along with tiny pieces of forgotten happy childhood memories. They decorated Ben’s place for Christmas as well. 

 

Growing up, his family celebrated both Hanukah and Christmas. Han wasn’t Jewish, though he wasn’t particularly a practicing Christian either, though he was raised Lutheran. Even so, Ben told Rey that Leia wanted to Ben to have a Christmas tree and believe in Santa because she wanted him to share in the fun that the other children were having so they celebrated what’d he’d call a secular Christmas. Leia did nothing by half measure so they had a damn theme tree in virtually every large room in the manor and the manor was lit up with lights. Pine garland and candle lights decorated every window and pine roping wound down the banisters. Rey could definitely see that about Leia. 

 

Rey was so happy that Ben actually asked her about decorating for Christmas. She had always dreamed about getting a real tree growing up, but never had the chance, so for her, this was a real treat. 

 

They bundled up and went out to the lot to pick out the tree together. Holding hands, they walked between the different types and sizes of trees, studying them all carefully. They searched for the holes and what would be the front or back of the tree and how it would look from various angles.

 

“Do you know what you’re looking for?” she asked curiously. “What makes a good tree?” 

 

Ben chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “Something that looks full and even with a good shape. It has to have strong limbs that will hold up the ornaments.” He looked at her with another shrug that told her he was just winging it. “At least that’s what I’m going with. I’ve never done this before, love.” 

 

“Oh right, yeah, well me either.” She snuggled into his arm and grinned. “I never had any kind of holiday celebration growing up. That’s why this is so special to me, Ben.” 

 

He hugged her close and kissed her head. “I’m so glad we can share this together, then.” 

 

They settled on a six-foot Frasier Fir that they lugged back into his house and got it into the stand. Ben maneuvered the tree in the stand while Rey stood back looking to see if it was straight. She would then hurry and crawl under the tree and tighten the screws against the trunk before shimmying back out to check it again. It was a bit tedious, but once they got it up and cut it loose from the bag so that the limbs would settle overnight, they were able to sit back and marvel at their handiwork. 

 

Rey grinned at him as she stared at it. She bounced on the balls of her feet, as excited as a kid on Christmas morning, and looked up at him. “I can’t believe we actually have a tree,” she squealed excitedly.

 

She looked so adorable. His heart clenched in his chest. He honestly couldn’t imagine how much she had gone without in her life. How much she’d suffered and endured. It broke his heart every time he thought about it, but he promised himself every time that he would never pity her. She was his brave warrior, and now, standing there she looked so happy—so filled with light and child-like glee—he knew that’s all he wanted to do from this point on was fill her life with moments of joy and hope like these.

 

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Yes, we do. Now we just need to get the decorations for it. I asked my mother, and she said we could come by the house and pick out what we like, she has tons and they’re all really beautiful. I know that would make her really happy.”

 

Rey turned and looked at him with wide eyes. “You did? I’m shocked. When did you do that Ben?” 

 

“When we had dinner out with her for Hanukah. I asked her when you went to the ladies’ room. I wanted it to be a surprise.” He smiled. “Surprise.”

 

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. “Thank you,” she murmured against his lips. “For doing all this. It means so much to me.” 

 

“I’d do anything to make you happy, Rey. You have to know that.” 

 

Other than last year when Rey celebrated the holidays with Finn when he asked her to come back to his house over winter break to meet his family, she had never spent the holidays with anyone. It had always been one of the loneliest times of her life. She remembered the years at Plutt’s with no celebrations at all. Plutt had said it was against policy and that there were no celebrations of any kind for any holidays. It was nothing but sadness. She didn’t know why it bothered her. It wasn’t as if she was particularly religious. She remembered going to church once as a very little girl. Sitting in a big building with pretty glass windows and hearing beautiful singing and having an old lady tell her that God loved her but that was about it. Yeah God loved her. That’s why her life turned out like it did, huh? Strange, but somehow she never really got mad at God. Maybe because she was too busy being mad at Unkar Plutt. 

 

Rey turned and stared at the tree again. She took a deep breath smelling the wonderful scent of the fir wafting through the house and smiled . “It smells so good. I love it.” She leaned back against him. 

 

Ben smiled. “So, you want to go get those ornaments and lights from my Mom’s?” 

 

“What, right now?” she said, surprised.

 

“Yeah, I texted her, she’s expecting us.” He grinned at her. 

 

“Sure. I’d love to.” 

 

========================== 

 

They pulled up to the manor, which was all decorated for the holidays and this time everything seemed different to Rey. She wasn’t nervous like she was the night of the party. This time she felt relaxed and normal. Like she belonged there somehow. She knew she belonged with Ben and this was his childhood home and so that meant she belonged there with him. She also knew Leia liked her very much and so everything was fine.

 

Ben parked the car in the round about in front of the manor. He got out and rounded the car to help her out of the car. They walked up to the front door where Leia was already waiting with the door open.

 

“Hello darlings,” she said with a warm voice.

 

“Mom,” he said with a smile and stepped in. 

 

Leia, who of course, looked elegant as usual, even in her casual clothes, walked to him and hugged him, which he allowed and leaned down to hug her back. She moved then to hug Rey. “Rey, it is so good to see you again dear.” 

 

Rey put her arms around Leia. “You too, Leia.” 

 

“I hope you like the surprise. Ben was quite eager about it. I was more than happy to set aside some decorations for you.” 

 

“I was thrilled. Thank you so much.” She smiled at her. 

 

“Oh, it’s my pleasure. I was honestly very surprised but it makes me so happy to see Ben getting back into the spirit of the holidays again. I guess love can do that for you.” she chuckled.

 

Rey blushed gently and nodded. “Yes, I guess it can.” 

 

Ben smiled. “So, are the decorations in the attic, Mom or somewhere else?” 

 

“Oh no, I had them moved down into the small storage rooms in the far back of the house. You know the one off the mud room? You two can go back there and take a look to see what you’d like to use.” She gestured towards the decorations storage place.

 

“Oh, okay that’s great. Thanks. We’ll just go back and check them out.” He nodded then took Rey’s hand and led her through the big house all the way to the back.

 

They got to the room, it was a smaller room with a few tables set up with boxes of Christmas ornaments all over it. 

 

Rey started to poke through them and shook her head as she took one ornament after another out. “These are all gorgeous. Glass and beading. I expected little shiny balls and stuff.” 

 

“Um, no.” He laughed softly and shook his head. “Not my mother’s style. She has nothing but specialty ornaments and they’re all pretty nice. I’m sure you’ll like these a lot. Just go through the boxes and pick what you like or shit, we can take the whole lot and sort what we like and put it on the tree and put the rest in my attic,” he chuckled out.

 

Rey giggled. “Yeah, I supposed we could do that.”

 

Ben walked over to her with a lascivious look in his eyes. “That would mean we wouldn’t have to spend time going through the ornaments here and now and could spend time doing something else in here.” 

 

Rey slapped at him playfully. “Ben, we’re in your mother’s house. Stop it. We’re not fooling around in here.” 

 

“Oh? And why not? No one is going to come in.” He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him, leaned down and started nibbling on her neck playfully .

“Ben,” she giggled. “Stop it.” She wiggled against him.

 

His hands moved down to grab her ass then lift her a bit to pull her against him. His fingers were along the seam that bisected her rear and were just at the underside of her ass. He could feel the heat of her sex through the denim, a sensation that brought a groan out of him. “I’ve been thinking about fucking you all day, Rey, but we’ve been so busy and I just can’t get you out of my mind. Please,” he whined. 

 

“Ben, we have not been that busy. I swear to god, this is so inappropriate.” She shuddered as his busy mouth moved up to her ear and began nibbling on her earlobe. She let out a soft gasp, relaxing into his arms a bit more. Maybe this wasn’t as wrong as she was thinking. It was a bit hot now that she thought about it.

 

One of his hands snuck under her sweater and moved up the bare skin of her abdomen to capture her breast over her thin bra and tweak her nipple. He gently pinched it as his mouth captured hers and kissed her deeply, his tongue thrusting inside and swirling with hers as he pressed her against the table behind her.

 

“Oh god,” she purred out. She was getting wetter at the idea of how naughty it was to have sex there, in his childhood home, and how much he wanted her.

 

“Not God, just Ben,” he murmured back to her with a chuckle. He reached for her jeans button and undid it and unzipped her jeans. He then thrust his hand inside and slipped his fingers in her panties and found her wet and wanting. 

 

“Oh, you’re already so wet for me Rey. I know you want me as much as I want you.” He purred as he dragged his mouth from hers up her jawline and into the shell of her ear as he licked and then bit down on her neck below.

 

“Ungh yes. Always.” She rocked her hips up to meet those talented questing fingers.

 

His long thick fingers slipped between her folds, started massaging her there, working her clit in slow deliberate circles as his other hand held her by the lower back, his mouth worked to ravish her neck and then moved back to capture her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss. 

 

The sensations of his thick fingers in her core were delicious. They sent glorious shock waves through her body, electric pleasure that surged through her pussy as he worked her clit with such expert skill. As he slipped his fingers down to slick them in her arousal, teasingly dragging them through her inner folds, the sensation of her juices dribbling along his fingers and hand, the feelings were just as wonderfully maddening for him. 

 

“You’re so good for me baby. But we’ve got to be quick,” he said as he worked his fingers in and out of her, gently spreading her, getting her ready for him.

 

“Hrrmmm,” is all she could say in return as she was already lost to the pleasure of things.

 

“Pull down your pants, Sweetheart,” he commanded.

 

She swiftly moved to wiggle them and her underwear down to her ankles. 

 

He swiftly unfastened his belt then made quick work of his button and fly and shoved down his jeans before his other hand reached into his boxer briefs, tugging his rock-hard cock out through the flap at the front of them. He then slipped his hand from her pussy and gripped her hips. He turned her and placed his hand on her shoulder and urged her down, bending her over the small table. He looked down at her ass as it jutted out so teasingly and could see her pussy was slick with her arousal. “Mmm. What a sight,” he said to her with a tone laced with wicked promise. 

 

“I’m gonna fuck you hard and fast, Sweetheart, are you ready for that?” he asked gently as his hand caressed the pale flesh of her rear before giving it a playful smack.

 

She jumped at the smack, letting out a soft gasp, but not one that indicated she had a problem with what he did. No, she enjoyed it but it surprised her. “God, yes. Yes Ben just do it.” She groaned as she grasped the side of the table, her fingers curling around the edge and gripping it hard as she prepared.

 

His hand reached down and his fingers curled around his cock. He dragged the head of it along her slit, running from her clit to the base of her opening and back several times, moistening his cock and making her that much more aroused and hungry. He lined himself up with her entrance and slowly eased himself in just to get her used to his cock stretching her out.

 

She hissed feeling him filling her so thickly “AAhhhh.” She gasped. “Yes. That’s just what I need.”

 

“Shhhh baby before we attract any attention.” He said gently. Though in truth, he loved how vocal she was with him.

 

He grabbed her hips and then eased back before thrusting in once more. He began pistoning his hips in and out of her at a rapid, intense pace, careful not to thrust too far else they have the loud, telltale slapping of his flesh to hers. “That’s my girl. You’re so good for me. Taking my cock so well,” he cooed softly out as he fucked her hard and fast. The sounds that filled their ears were the soft moans each made and the soft, wet sound of his thick shaft running between her folds.

 

“Hrrmmm,” she replied as she clutched the side of the table. It was so good feeling him filling her, feeling him fuck her so hard and take her. Own her. She loved that she pushed him to this, that she had him so worked up that he needed to have her right then.

 

“Do you like that?” he asked softly. “Me taking you like this. Possessing you?” His tone was softly teasing as he worked in and out of her tight pussy with quick strokes. The idea of fucking here right here was enough that he was almost ready to cum the moment she agreed to it. He looked down, watching his shaft disappearing into her, one hand gently caressing the soft globe of her ass as he did.

 

“Y-yes? God yes,” she gasped out. “Harder.” 

 

He thought he’d lose his mind when she said that, but he’d give her what she wanted. He fucked her harder and faster, thrusting into her with wild abandon, knowing he wouldn’t last long. “Reach between your legs, Rey. I want you to play with your clit while I fuck you.” His voice carried that commanding tone she loved and so she released one arm from its grip on the table and did as he told her. She slipped that hand under herself and between her legs. Her fingers spread to pass on either side of his cock as he worked in and out of her so that she could moisten her fingers, then moved up to work intense circles with hard pressure against that bundle of nerves at the apex of her pussy.

 

“That’s a good girl. Now, C’mon baby, I want you to cum with me,” he murmured out as his cock was thrusting inside her so deep and hard, hitting that sweet spot inside her, over and over again. The hand that caressed her ass slid over her flesh and pressed his thumb against her puckered ass. He didn’t press it into her, just against, just enough to send even more sensation through her.

 

“Mmfff,” she muttered out incoherent babblings of pleasure as she bit her lip trying to be quiet. The hand on her rear and the thumb surprised her but she enjoyed the feeling and began to push back against him as he thrust into her, their bodies finally starting to connect. If she was thinking about anything other than what she was feeling, she might think about the sound it made, but that was a distant thought for her at the moment.

 

“Unghh Rey. So good. I’m gonna …” he felt his insides tighten as that tickle ran from deep inside, through his balls and up his shaft.”

 

“Ben, Don’t stop,” she begged as she pushed back wildly against him. “I’m almost there,” she pleaded with him.

 

“Ahhh fuck,” he gasped, feeling her pressing back more against him. That was all it took and he explored inside her, his cock pulsing with the violent climax as he filled her. He moaned out as he came inside her, trying not to loudly cry out her name. 

 

Feeling him unable to hold it was enough to send her crashing over the edge of pleasure with him and she too came, following him over that ledge and pushing back, her pussy tightening around him and milking every last drop of him inside her. She let out a whining whimpering sound of pleasure, biting her lower lip as she tried not to scream throughout the house.

 

He leaned over her, panting and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck and then slowly, regretfully pulled out of her and whispered, “Stay there, Sweetheart.” He quickly put himself back together zipped up his pants and walked out of the room and to the bathroom around the corner just down the hall and cleaned himself up. He came back to her with some wet toilet paper and gently cleaned her up where she lay, pressing soft kisses on her lower back as he did. He snuck back to the bathroom and flushed the paper and then came back and helped her put herself back together. 

 

“I think we’re going to be put on the naughty list now. Maybe Santa won’t come,” he said to her with a wicked grin.

 

“Ben Solo, I can’t believe you just fucked me in your mother’s house.” She laughed.

 

“Well it’s not like you weren’t a willing participant.” He shrugged. “At least it wasn’t in my childhood bedroom,” he said as he got this wistful look on his face.

 

“Oh, no. No, no, no. We are not going up there and doing this again.” She shook her head.

 

“Oh? Come on. Why not?” He wiggled his brows. “Where’s your sense of adventure?” He pouted playfully.

 

“Ben Solo, I swear to god I don’t know what I’m going to do with you,” she chuckled.

 

“Love me forever?” he snickered.

 

“Well of course.” She hugged him tightly with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tell ya these two are definitely going to be on Santa's naughty list this Christmas ! LOL. But what fun they will have getting there. 
> 
> Also I hope you felt like Gwen got what she had coming !
> 
> thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- as always i don't know what i would do without her 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love Really Is All Around Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my lovelies here we are - Chapter 14. This is it. I hope you have enjoyed this wonderful ride as much as I have. It has been such an honor and a pleasure. Thank you for being the best readers a writer could ever ask for. I am wishing you all the Most Happy Holidays and that you feel love all around you.
> 
> Thank you to [@constellationsinmytea ](https://constellationsinmytea.tumblr.com/) for the beautiful art in this final chapter.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/44519061460/in/dateposted-public/)

Rey was curled up contentedly on the sofa reading while Ben was sitting at his desk going through some things on his laptop when his phone rang. He reached for it and his hand almost immediately began to tremble when he saw the name on it as he stared. He didn’t answer it.

 

Rey looked up from her book and gazed at him, seeing the less than happy expression on his face. “Who was that?” she asked curiously.

 

“My dad,” he answered in a shaky voice.

 

“Ben. Why didn’t you answer?” She set her book to the side, focusing her attention on Ben.

 

“I don’t know. I just…” he paused as he sought to find the right words to express himself. “I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wanted to though,” he admitted as he looked up to her with wide helpless eyes.

 

“Did he leave a message?” she asked him, looking to his phone as if to will him to check it.

 

He nodded. “Yeah, yeah he actually did this time. I’ll listen to it and then I … I think I’m going to call him back. Fuck Rey, I’m nervous.” He walked over to sit beside her.

 

Rey set her book on the side table and reached to take his hand and squeezed it.

 

He held her hand tightly and looked into her eyes. “What am I supposed to say to him after all this time?” 

 

“You could just start with ‘Hey Dad, how are you?’ I mean, keep it simple,” she said gently as she ran her thumb softly over the back of his hand. 

 

“Yeah okay, yeah keep it simple. I can do that. You know, I’d never even think of doing this before you and I got together. You’ve changed everything for me. Given me strength and hope about life that I never had before, Rey.” He swallowed hard, emotion in his voice. 

 

“Oh baby.” She crawled up on her knees and moved to take his face in her hands and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you. It’s going to be okay. I just know it. Go talk to your Dad, Ben. You can do this.” 

 

He kissed her back softly and then grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into his lap and clung to her tightly. He pressed his face into neck and breathed her in. Her scent was, as always, intoxicating. He kissed her there softly and then pulled back. 

 

“Okay. I’m gonna do this.” He slowly stood and picked up his phone and walked into the bedroom and shut the door. He sat down on the bed and listened to the voicemail, Han’s gravelly voice lingering there, “Hey Kid. It’s Dad. Give me a call if you find the time, okay? Okay. Take care.”

 

Ben sat there staring at the phone. It was always so hard to hear his father’s voice. It made him angry and made him want to cry at the same time. The dichotomy of emotions was such a struggle inside him. He felt like he loved him so much but hated him as well. 

 

His hands were trembling when he hit the redial button on the phone.

 

Han answered the phone then, his voice actually sounding a little surprised “Hey Kid. I didn’t expect to hear from you.” 

 

“Hey Dad.” His voice shocked him with how it trembled. “Yeah, I’m a little surprised too.”

 

“Thanks for calling me back. It’s been a while.” Han paced through his apartment in Los Angeles feeling the regret and sadness of too many years course through him.

 

“Yeah Dad, I’d say so, almost 10 years is a while,” he said sadly.

 

“Ben, I’ve been trying to call you for the last several years, get you messages through your mother,” he said plaintively.

 

“I know you have. I know. I’ve just. I’ve not been ready. I’ve not been in a good place.” He shoved the fingers of one hand through his hair. He stood up and paced around his bedroom.

 

“Your mom, she told me you’re seeing a girl,” he said with a smile that resonated through his voice.

 

“You talked to Mom recently?” Ben paused and furrowed his brows.

 

“Yeah, we’ve been talking lately. Mostly about you and how things are going there, but yeah, we’ve been talking a bit lately. I’ve been thinking of taking a trip back to visit. I mean,” he caught himself and shifted his tone. “I don’t mean to presume. I’m not saying I’m going to assume we’ll see each other or anything. Ah fuck,” he grumbled.

 

“No, no it’s okay Dad, I understand what you’re saying,” Ben reassured him. “But yeah, I’m seeing a woman, her name is Rey. She’s amazing. You’d like her. She’s brilliant. She’s an aeronautical engineering student.”

 

“No shit!?” His voice perked up a thousand percent.

 

“Yep. She was incredibly impressed by the fact that you were my dad.” He smirked. 

 

“Ah well I’m glad I could help you out there, Kid,” he chuckled.

 

“Yeah, well I told her we didn’t speak so,” he said flatly.

 

Han was silent for a long moment. “Oh…right.” 

 

“Yeah, she actually got a little pissed at me because of it.” He let out a low laugh remembering their first date.

 

“She did?” He smirked at the idea. “I like her already.”

 

“Yeah, she told me how you’d revolutionized the field and how I should appreciate that or some shit and gave me hell about it. She’s got a lot of fire in her. It’s one of the many things I love about her.” He smiled to himself.

 

“You love her huh? That’s a big leap Kid.” 

 

“Yeah, I know. All things considered with you and Mom, I didn’t think I’d have the guts to take the risk.” His voice was a bit bitter.

 

“I know we weren’t the best example for you, Kid and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for a lot of things,” Han said solemnly, his voice low and sorrowful.

 

Ben didn’t know quite what to say so he just remained quiet.

 

“That’s why I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all this damn time Ben. I wanted to tell you how fucking sorry I am. I’ve had a long, long time to think about things and I know I screwed up. I wasn’t there for you like I should have been when you were growing up. I was too busy building an empire. I didn’t understand you. I was too busy trying to mold you into the man I wanted you to be instead of accepting you for the person you were. I’m sorry for the way I lost my temper with your mom and how you had to see all those god damn fights growing up. I mean I know parents fight, but still, kids shouldn’t have to see that shit all the time like you did.” The emotion in his voice was high and his voice was trembling with it. 

 

“Dad, you don’t … you don’t have to do this.” Ben’s voice cracked, he felt tears in his eyes.  
  
  
“Yes, I do Ben. I need to say this, you need to hear this.” He continued. “That night you beat the shit out of me. I don’t blame you. I understand why you lost your temper. I don’t hold any of that against you. I never have. None of what happened between your mom and me was your fault. I know you’ve held onto that part of the past for a long time but you need to let that go.” His voice choked. 

 

Tears actually slipped down Ben’s cheeks. “Dad.” He couldn’t formulate the right words.

 

“I love you Ben, I’ve always loved you. I just want things to be right between us. I just want us to be able to start again. I’ll do anything to make this right.” There was such sincerity and passion in his voice. 

 

Ben sat in stunned silence. It was almost too much to take in. He wiped at his face as emotions washed over him and he sniffed and tried to let his brain catch up to all the words his father just said to him.

 

“Okay Dad. I’d like that,” he said simply. “When are you coming into town?” 

 

He could hear Han let out a breath he’d been holding as if in fear of being rejected. “Well, uhh, I was thinking maybe around the New Year. I told your mother I’d see her around then maybe and I don’t know if that’s something you’d be interested in. Seeing me around then too.” 

 

“Yeah, Dad, that sounds great. In fact, that sounds like a perfect way to start the New Year.” He smiled to himself and felt his heart lighten in a way he didn’t think was possible.

 

===================== 

 

Rey was at the apartment for their annual holiday gift exchange. The apartment was decorated for the holidays with twinkle lights and more twinkle lights. Their tree was actually twinkle lights stuck to the wall made in the shape of a Christmas tree. Finn and Poe were still putting the finishing touches on their packing for the two of them heading home to Poe’s house for the holiday. Finn was very nervous about meeting Poe’s family but they’d all assured him it would go well, especially Poe. The two of them were especially adorable of late, Poe being more verbally encouraging and affectionate than he usually was, which was a lot to begin with.

 

Rose and Rey reclined on the sofa each with their beer, smiling. “So those two are getting sickening.” Rose rolled her eyes at Rey. “They can’t keep their hands off each other, especially Poe, he just wants Finn to feel loved and to know that he’ll be fine with his family.” 

 

Rey smiled a small smile. “I think it’s sweet. This is a big deal, Finn going home to meet his family over the holidays and staying there. I mean it’s not like he can just go home or anything if things are weird. He’s stuck there for over a week. I can see why he’s nervous.” She shuddered.

 

Rose nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. Poe loves him so much and just wants him to feel comfortable. I know Poe’s family will love him too.”  
Finn and Poe walked into the kitchen and got their beer out of the fridge and then came into the living room. “Okay, I think we’re finally all packed,” Poe said with relief.

 

Finn laughed, “Yeah that’s until later tonight when you think of something else.” He leaned in and kissed his neck.

 

“Look, I can’t help it if I get obsessive about leaving things behind when I go on a trip,” Poe chuckled.

 

Rose shook her head, “I don’t get what the big deal is. Just toss your stuff into the bag that you think you’re gonna need and boom, you’re done. I got all my stuff packed for my trip in one go and I’m good.”

 

Rey rolled her eyes. “Rose you’re going to Bermuda with Paige and your parents over the holidays. What did you have to pack, a bikini, sandals and some shorts?” she snorted.

 

“Okay, maybe a little more than that. I needed razors and sunscreen and a few trashy novels too.” She swatted at her with a laugh.

 

They all laughed. Finn and Poe walked over and made themselves comfortable as they sat down in the living room as well. 

 

“So, when are we going to do our gift exchange?” Finn asked expectantly.

 

Poe grinned. “I’m ready whenever you guys are.” 

 

Rey smiled. “Yeah, let’s do it now, that’s cool.” 

 

They all looked at each other and then laughed and jumped up to go get their gifts where they had the stashed in the apartment and quickly made their way back to the living room where they had been sitting and grinned at each other, holding the gifts behind their back. They always did a Secret Santa between the four of them so they each only had to purchase one gift out of the four of them. 

 

“Alright, when I say go everyone close their eyes and put the gifts on the coffee table and I’ll count to five and then we can open our eyes, okay?” Rey said.

 

They all nodded in agreement. 

 

“Okay ready, set, go.” She laughed and closed her eyes and pulled her gift from behind her back and set it on the coffee table and counted out loud to five and then opened her eyes.

 

They each saw four gifts sitting on the table each shaped differently and wrapped differently.

 

“Okay Rose, you go first; you drew last so you get to open first,” Finn said. 

 

Rose wiggled in her seat and reached for the large box on the table. “This looks very promising,” she said with an excited voice. She unwrapped it, tearing at the ribbon and paper and then pulled the top off the box. She dug through the tissue, her eyes widened when she looked at what was inside. A hot red blush spread over her cheeks and she burst out laughing. “Oh my god!” she squealed. “Rey, I can’t believe you got me this.” She tossed the box to the side and held up a boxed pink Jack Rabbit Vibrator. “How did you afford this, this is like top of the line.” 

 

“Oh my god,” Finn blurted out and covered his face with his hand.

 

Poe just chuckled and sipped his beer.

 

Rey blushed too and laughed out loud. “Um Rose, I didn’t get that for you. But yeah that’s definitely a good one. No way I could afford to get that for you.” 

 

Rose looked puzzled then. “What do you mean you didn’t get this for me? You’re the only one who knew I needed a new one.” She turned her eyes to Finn and Poe. Finn looked like he wanted to die and then she studied Poe who had a little grin on his face.

 

“Poe? Did you get me a fucking vibrator for Christmas?” Rose asked with a laugh in her voice. 

 

Poe shrugged and chuckled a little “Well, I mean, I overheard you telling Rey that yours had died and I did get your name for Secret Santa. I thought, it was something you needed so I figured, I’d get you the top of the line.” He grinned widely at her. 

 

Rey for her part was trying not to cry from laughing so hard through the hilarity of this whole situation while Finn seemed to want to sink into the ground from second-hand embarrassment. 

 

Rose laughed and leaned over and hugged Poe tightly. “Oh my god, I love you. You are the best friend ever. Merry Fucking Christmas to me.” She moved to sit back down and held the vibrator up in the air, “This thing is coming with me to Bermuda.” 

 

They all burst out laughing, even Finn.

 

After Rose’s gift, nothing could really compare, that took the cake for the gift exchange. What followed were lovely, thoughtful gifts. Not that the vibrator wasn’t a thoughtful gift, of course. Rey got Poe a book about standing up against corruption in politics that was right up his alley. Rose got Finn a nice warm scarf that would be perfect for him to wear on his trip to visit Poe’s family and Finn got Rey a beautiful green sweater that would totally bring the green out in her eyes when she wore it. 

 

They ended up savoring the last of their time together for the year, drinking and then ordering in Chinese from their favorite restaurant, Wang Ho’s, and talking late into the night. Rey crashed there that night until the next morning when Finn and Poe had to head out for their trip. 

 

Rose said her goodbyes and then it was Rey’s turn.

 

She hugged Poe tightly and then when she moved to hug Finn she looked into his eyes and felt emotions rise and she smiled up to him. “I’m so happy for you. 

 

It’s going to go great. Don’t be scared. They’re going to love you just like we love you, Finn,” she said softly. 

 

“Thanks, Peanut,” he replied. “You gonna be okay while we’re gone?” 

 

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a great holiday. I’ll be with Ben, then we’re gonna go see his mom.” She paused as a warm smile spread across her face. “I’m so happy Finn.” 

 

“I know you are, Peanut, and I’m really happy for you. I honestly am.” He pulled her in for a tight hug. “I love you, Rey. You’ll always be my best friend and I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.” 

 

She pressed her face into his neck. “I love you too Finn, I’ll always be here too. Now go and have fun.” She stepped back and wiped at her eyes. “Bye, Poe. Have a great holiday. Take care of my guy here.” 

 

Poe smiled at her. “Absolutely.” 

 

And they were off. 

 

Rose smiled to her. “He’s gonna be fine Rey, don’t worry.” 

 

“I know.” She turned and looked at Rose. “You sure you’re okay? With all of us paired up I don’t want you to feel left out.” 

 

Rose laughed. “Girl, I’m telling you, relationships are not my thing right now. Me and my rabbit are gonna be just fine.” She winked and smiled widely. 

 

Rey walked over and hugged her tightly. “I love you, Rose. Merry Christmas.” 

 

“Merry Christmas, Rey.” She hugged her back.

 

========================= 

 

Hux and Ben sat at McGhee’s staring at each other, each nursing their second whiskey.

 

“As we sit here on our … what is this our 15th annual The Holidays Suck gathering?” Hux asked.

 

Ben chuckled, “Something like that, maybe longer.” 

 

Ben thought back to their first “The Holidays Suck” gathering. They must have been like 13 at prep school. It was a week before holiday break and they were both miserable about the idea of heading home for the holidays. Neither of them particularly wanted to see their families. They snuck in a bottle of Jack Daniels, got drunk and talked about gathering up their money, running away, going to Killington for the week and just going skiing but they knew their parents would freak and send the cops after them. Hux hated his father about as much as Ben hated his and their misery about spending the holidays with their families brought about the beginning of what became a life-long tradition. 

 

Hux continued, “As we sit here on our 15th annual The Holidays Suck gathering, I feel it is incumbent upon me to decree that this may very well be our last gathering.” He sipped his drink.

 

Ben furrowed his brows. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean Hux? Are you breaking up with me?”

 

Hux laughed. “I know that would just devastate you, Solo. I wouldn’t be so cruel as to leave you without the glory of my presence in your life, so, no.”

 

Ben smirked at him and shook his head, sipped his drink and then poured them both some more out of the bottle that was on their table.

 

“But what I am saying is that I have the sneaking suspicion that you no longer think that the holidays suck, given the change in your life circumstances.” He shrugged. “Or am I wrong?”

 

Ben grumbled a bit as he stared down into his drink and then looked up to him. “No, you’re not wrong. It’s been really great this year so far. Celebrating Hanukkah was really meaningful this year and now we’ve actually got a Christmas tree and I even like that. So yeah, I actually am enjoying it. I feel like a different person.” 

 

Hux rolled his eyes “Ah fuck, well it’s definitely happened, you’ve been taken over by domesticity and love and you will never be the same, my friend. Well good for you.” He raised his drink to his best friend. 

 

Ben looked at him and tilted his head. “You don’t have some smart-ass comment to make?” 

 

Hux chuckled. “Well I could say that I don’t want to scoop you up off the floor again when the inevitable doom comes and the relationship ends but I don’t want to be a fucking asshole after seeing what it did to you before. It’s no joking matter. I honest to fucking god hope it works, Solo. I really do. I was there to see what your parents’ mess did to you. I remember that too. So ultimately, as big of an asshole as I am, I want this to work out for you.” He rolled his eyes and downed his drink.

 

“Well shit, Hux. I swear I feel like the body snatchers have come and replaced you with an alien that actually has some feelings or something.” He smiled at him.

 

“Yes, that’s actually what happened, the alien invaders have come and will be working on a full-scale attack after the New Year, so you don’t have to worry about your resolutions.” He grabbed the bottle and poured himself some more whiskey.

 

Ben chuckled. “What about you, Hux?” Ben asked him. “What are we going to do about you? Don’t you think it’s time that you begin to consider getting into a real relationship?”

 

Hux actually coughed as he was taking a sip of his drink. “Oh, for fucks sake Solo, are you joking? You know I have the emotional depth of a teaspoon, don’t wish me upon any poor woman.” 

 

Ben shook his head and watched him. “One day Hux, you’re going to meet someone and it’s going to happen. You’re gonna fall hard and I’ll be there to see it. It’s going be glorious.” 

 

Hux smirked. “Well don’t hold your breath Solo, you’ll die from asphyxiation.” 

 

They both laughed and smiled.

 

“Happy Holidays Hux,” Ben said and raised his glass.

 

“Yeah yeah, Happy fucking Holidays, Solo.” 

 

=================== 

 

After many long talks with Ben over several nights, Rey had finally lined up her appointments with a therapist, a Dr. Jyn Erso, and had just started her sessions. She knew she had a lot of issues to work through. Abandonment, low self-esteem, anger, and aching loneliness inside her that nothing and no one could really fill, but she knew that doing so was the beginning of healing and it was worth it. She’d gone on for far too long dealing with this pain and her struggles alone and Ben had told her how much his own therapy had helped him. He also told her he would get back to seeing his own therapist as well to continue the work he’d begun. They both were committed to work out their personal issues to help make their relationship healthier. They agreed that the best way to make their relationship better was to work on themselves. They knew that they could be a support for each other, that they could love each other completely, but they couldn’t save each other. They had to work to save themselves. 

 

Rey had never felt more positive and confident in all her life. Having Ben’s love filled her with a hope for the future she’d never believed was possible and a belief that all her hard work to get her out of her hellish beginnings not only brought her to this place in her life for success in a future career but in her personal life, something she never believed she could have. As she packed her bags for her stay with Ben over the entirety of winter break, she realized that she wished she could stay with him longer. She looked around her dorm room and realized that this place was just so empty to her now. She sighed and shook her head and left it at that. 

 

Soon Christmas Eve was upon them and Rey sat in one of Ben’s spare rooms putting the finishing touches on her gift for Ben. She’d worked hard on the braided black leather bracelet she made for him with the small metal piece on it with the R and B pressed together that she made in the fabrication shop on campus. She knew it wasn’t fancy, but she also knew it was nice. The leather was good quality, it was well made and it was lovely. More than anything, it was made with love. If she knew Ben like she did she believed, he would love it. She smiled to herself and set it in the box. She tidied up the table and then set to carefully wrapping the box with a smile on her face. Part of her hoped he wouldn’t go overboard with gifts for her for Christmas. She didn’t want to feel awkward, but she also knew how he wanted to spoil her. It was in his nature and something she was getting used to. 

 

Ben, for his part, was getting the townhouse ready for the holiday. He had finalized the shopping for their dinners for tonight and lunch tomorrow because everything would be closed and he wanted to make sure he had it all for the meals he had planned to cook for Rey. They were going to his mom’s for dinner Christmas evening. 

 

Nervousness, however, kept him going back to the box he had sitting on his dresser and opening it over and over again, looking inside staring at it, making sure it was there. He kept going over in his head if this was the right time to give her this. Was it too soon? Was it too much? Would it push her away? All he knew was he had to trust his instincts. What was it his uncle had always told him to do? Trust the Universe? Well that’s what he was doing. 

 

He took the box and walked with it into his office, gathered his supplies, sat down at his desk and finally wrapped the box, knowing there was no going back. This was it. Once it was wrapped, he would give it to her on Christmas morning. He took a deep breath and wrapped it as carefully as he could, putting a lovely ribbon on it and a tag, writing in his lovely penmanship her name. To my love: Rey. He walked back to his bedroom and hid the box in his sock drawer with a smile. This was it. All he could do now was hope it would be the right thing. 

 

==========================

 

Rey and Ben spent a romantic Christmas Eve together. After having a wonderful meal that Ben cooked for them, they relaxed, sitting before the fire drinking a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine that Leia gave them. They decided to watch old movies that centered around Santa and the spirit of kindness and giving to your fellow man. Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life. 

 

Rey turned and looked at Ben, tilting her head, “Wow. It’s a Wonderful Life has a pretty serious theme. I never really thought of the concept of what the world would be like if I was never born. It’s pretty intense. I mean just consider it, it’s amazing the idea of all the people our lives touch in our day to day living. The concept of all the small things we do that can change a person’s life.” 

 

Ben paused and took a sip of the wine that he’d been holding. “Yeah, it is a pretty existential thought, really. What small thing have you done to change someone’s life and if you were never there to do it what impact would that make. For example, if you taking too long to order your drink and it happened to hold someone up at Starbucks one day and they were late, what if that somehow saved them from walking into traffic and saved their lives?” He shook his head. “A chain reaction of events.” 

 

Rey pondered. “It’s huge. I can think back of some of the kids I helped during my time with Plutt, the kids I helped protect from him. I hated my life back then but if I wasn’t there, they would have been really hurt. So, if I was never born, if I wasn’t there, they would have suffered so much because they weren’t as strong as I was. So as hard as it was, my life had real meaning, even then.” She looked up to him with tears in her eyes. “I just didn’t know it.” 

 

“Oh, baby, your life has always had meaning.” He wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled her into his arms.

 

“I know. I’m really believing that now Ben. I really, really am.” She tilted her head and smiled up to him.

 

Ben smiled down at her and kissed her nose. 

 

“If you were never born, I would have never found you, Ben. I’d never have found what real love is. You’ve shown me that. What real love is. That I’m truly valuable. What it means to be fully accepted for who I really am. I never knew this kind of love was possible. I didn’t believe in it. You’ve made me a believer Ben Solo.” she smiled up at him.

 

“You made me a believer too, Rey Kenobi. I have spent a lifetime filled with this emptiness and this belief that I wasn’t good enough, believing I was broken inside and that no one could ever really accept me or love me. I felt that there was this darkness inside me that no light could ever shine through, until there was you. Your love brought balance to those places Rey.” 

 

“I love you so much Ben,” she said softly.

 

“I love you too Rey.” He pulled her into his lap and kissed her tenderly, brushing his fingers through her hair and cupping her head in his large hand.

 

The clock on the wall struck midnight, ticking away the hour.

 

Rey smiled widely. “It’s Christmas.” She looked up at the clock as it struck its final toll. 

 

“Yeah it is.” He grinned back at her. 

 

“Can we exchange our gifts?” she asked excitedly, wiggling in his lap.

 

He looked at her and his heart started pounding. He wasn’t really prepared for this, he thought he’d have until the morning to give her his gift but he didn’t want to disappoint his beloved so he nodded his head. “Of course, Sweetheart if that is what you want.” 

 

She hopped off his lap, ran into the bedroom to pull out her wrapped box which she had tucked away in her bag, and moved to sit down on the floor, beside the tree. 

 

He got up and followed her into the bedroom, pulled out the box from his drawer, and headed back into the living room. 

 

Rey peered up at him. “Come sit down here.” She patted the floor down in front of her.

 

Ben curled his large frame down on the floor in front of her in front of the tree and smiled. 

 

Rey held out her present with a wide smile. “Open yours first.” 

 

He smiled and unwrapped the box and slowly opened it and pulled out the black leather braided bracelet, held it in his hand. He looked at it and saw the B and R blended together and smiled widely. He raised his head and then looked to her with wide eyes.

 

“I made it myself,” she blurted out. “See the B and the R are wrapped together, like we are.” 

 

“I see that. Rey it’s perfect, it’s gorgeous. I can’t begin …” he was at a loss for words. “Sweetheart, that you would make something like this for me ….” He swallowed hard. 

 

“See the knotting expands for your massive hand.” She chuckled “And then you can tighten it a bit for your wrist.” She helped him with it to put it on.  
  
  
  
He worked with her to pull the knotting to expand it for his wide hand and then slip it on his wrist and looked at it on there. “Rey, it’s incredible. I’ll wear it every day. It means the world to me. Oh Sweetheart, thank you so much. I love it so much.” He reached for her and pulled her to him and hugged her tightly and then pulled her back and held her face in his massive hands and kissed her tenderly. “It’s the best gift I’ve ever received.” 

 

She looked up at him and smiled widely.

 

“Now for yours.” He held the box out to her and swallowed hard. He licked his lips that had gone dry and watched her.

 

She slowly unwrapped the paper, very carefully. Rey was a careful unwrapper, taking her time with each edge. Finally, she revealed the box and blinked realizing it was a jewelry box. She looked up at him with wide eyes and swallowed and then opened it to reveal a lovely emerald ring, a medium round stone set in white gold in an infinity braid. “Oh my god.” She whispered. 

 

“Darling, I saw this and it reminded of your eyes and … I wanted to get you something to tell you that … I’ll always be here, the setting is an infinity setting and that’s how I feel about my love for you, it is boundless, endless, spanning out into the cosmos for all of infinity.” His voice was shaking for how nervous he was with how she’d receive the gift. 

 

“Ben it’s … it’s stunning.” She was overwhelmed. She’d never had anything so beautiful in all her life. She looked at the ring, then at him. 

 

He reached for the box and took the ring, then her right hand and slid it on her ring finger. “It’s a promise to you that I’ll always be here for you.”  
  
  
She smiled to him as she watched him put the ring on her right ring finger, knowing that this wasn’t an engagement or anything that intense but it was a promise for their future, something steady and beautiful, something concrete and meaningful. 

 

“Ben, it’s perfect. I love it. I love you.” She reached up and hugged him tightly around his neck.

 

He hugged her back tightly. “Oh, there’s one more thing in the bottom of that box.” He said as he drew her back with a sly smile. “You just need to lift up the tab.” 

 

She blinked at him with a confused but curious face. She did as he suggested and lifted up the tab and saw a gleaming silver key in the bottom of the tab with a silver keychain on it. She pulled it out and looked at the keychain with the word “ALWAYS” inscribed on it in beautiful script.

 

“Rey, I know it’s soon, I know it’s a big step, but this place, this house, feels so empty without you in it, when you’re not here I feel like it’s a tomb. When you’re here it feels like home. Would you move in with me?” His voice was shaking and she could see his hands were trembling as he reached for hers. 

 

His mind was racing, he knew this was the biggest chance he was ever taking, but he knew he had to ask. She was spending so much time here he had to believe, he had to hope that this would be something she wanted too. 

 

She blinked and was shocked and then a wide smile crossed her face. “Yes Ben, yes I will. I was just thinking days ago while I was packing that I wish I could be here all the time. I miss you so much when I’m not here.” 

 

“Rey, I love you with all my heart. I want to be with you. Always.” He looked into her eyes.

 

“Ben, I love you too. Always.” She threw her arms around his neck and held him tightly. 

 

He kissed her tenderly and brushed his fingers through her hair. 

 

The lights of the tree illuminated the two lovers as they held each other and outside, the snow began to fall. 

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this ending made you as happy as it made me. Epilogue to post next week.
> 
> a huge thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- i wouldn't have made it through this process without her undying support and love. 
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.
> 
> here's what rey's ring looks like   
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/32565776628/in/dateposted-public/)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue - Five Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are lovelies. The very end. I hope Rey and Ben's ending makes you as happy as it makes me. This is so bittersweet. This has been an incredible journey. I never thought I could do something like this, write a multi-chapter fic, but you all have been so encouraging and supportive. Thank you for making this so special for me. I am wishing you all a Very Happy New Year. I hope 2019 holds Health, Happiness and Love for you all. 
> 
>  
> 
> I am adding some tags to this chapter rather than the story itself because I don't want to give away the ending but I want to tag them because some people are sensitive about these issues and I want to take that into account. Tags: Reylo Family, Reylo Baby, Pregnancy, Breastfeeding. Please avoid this chapter if these things are sensitive to you.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/45766845104/in/dateposted-public/)

**FIVE YEARS LATER**

 

 

Han Solo stood in the large kitchen staring into the oven with a perplexed look on his face. This problem was likely one of the hardest he’d ever faced in all his years in his aerodynamics career. He had no idea what he was doing.

 

“Leia!” he called out to his wife. “Leia, get in here. I can’t tell if this damned turkey is done or not.” 

 

Leia walked into the kitchen from the dining room, wrapped her arms around him from behind and peeked around him looked with him into the oven at the browning turkey and chuckled. 

 

“Darling, just because it’s starting to turn brown doesn’t mean it’s done. We need to check it with a meat thermometer. Besides, I think we have at least another hour. Rose is still finishing up the potatoes and they need to boil. Patience, my love.” She reached up and pulled him down to kiss him on his grizzled cheek. 

 

She closed the oven and smiled. 

 

“Alright, alright I just want everything to go off perfectly this year. It’s so special being here, celebrating New Year’s Eve with everyone. I almost can’t believe it’s all real,” he said as he leaned into her and pressed a kiss onto her temple. 

 

“I know you do. And it will. It’s a very special new year for all of us, Han. I’ve never seen Rey and Ben so happy. Now let’s go back and join Luke for a drink in the dining room and let this turkey and all the rest of the food cook for a while longer.” She took his hand and led him into the dining room where they sat down at the dining room table. 

 

Luke smiled at them. “It’s good to be here,” he said. “Good for us all to be together. It’s been a long time since we’ve all been in the same place. You two seem to be doing very well together this go around.” 

 

Han chuckled. “Yeah, we really are.” 

 

Leia grinned at him. “It’s like I told Rey all those years ago, communication is the key.” 

 

“Ain’t that the truth,” Han said with a smile. “Communication that isn’t yelling.” He laughed happily. 

 

Luke laughed as well. “Once the two of you figured that one out, I knew you’d figured out the secret to a long and happy marriage.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back in the kitchen Rose stood cutting potatoes at the counter after she finished peeling them, humming happily to herself. Behind her, a man came up and wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her tightly. 

 

“You know I could help you with that,” her fiancé said, nuzzling his nose behind her ear and pressing kisses there.

 

“Please, you’d be a disaster. You’d likely cut your fingers off. You have no idea what you’re doing in the kitchen, Hux,” she chuckled.

 

“Rose, darling, you wound me. Why are you so cruel to me?” he teased her playfully.

 

“Because you can take it, you pompous ass. Also, because I’m only protecting you from yourself,” she chuckled, leaning back and tilting her head up to him for a kiss. 

 

He leaned down and kissed her softly. “You know I adore you. What would I do without you to keep me in line?” 

 

“Be a miserable bachelor, forever living a lonely existence for the rest of your life,” she quipped.

 

“Quite right, my darling, quite right.” He sighed gently into her lips and kissed her once again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poe stood in Ben’s office / library with him looking at a copy of his recently published book. 

 

“I didn’t think you had it in you, man. I mean when you decided not to go into teaching and to write your crazy idea for a novel, I thought you were really off your rocker but it looks like you definitely made the right decision. Top of the New York Times Best Seller’s list. You’re a hit, Ben.” He patted him on his back.

 

Ben smiled. “Yeah, I never realized I had so much to say, had so many stories inside me, but I guess when you carry all kinds of pain and ghosts from the past it only makes sense to transfer that into fiction and tell tales from that. Maybe transfer it into another world.” 

 

Poe nodded. “Yeah, but what made you look into sci-fi? I never imagined you into that kind of thing.” 

 

Ben smiled “Well I have always loved all kinds of genres. Sci-fi, fantasy, and well, I liked the thought of blending mythology, which often times has themes of familial drama and fantastical powers, into a universal galactic story of war and conflict among the stars. Something like that can be a perfect setting for the story I wanted to tell. I mean the universe is a big place, right? My uncle was always talking about the universe and cosmos too and how there was this universal force that connected all of us and I thought – wouldn’t that make a great story? And, well family drama is a universal theme, right? I have a lot of experience with it. I guess it has struck a chord in people because it’s doing so well. I have a lot more to tell, so my publisher is actually behind the idea of sequels. It’s also enabled me to be able to stay home now.” 

 

Poe smiled. “Yeah. That’s great, especially with Rey moving up into that management position with Solo Aerospace once she’s ready to go back to work. It seems like you two have it all figured out.” 

 

Ben smiled proudly. “Yeah, we do. Everything has really fallen into place.” 

 

Poe smiled. “Who would have thought all those years ago that all this would happen, huh?” 

 

Ben looked at him. “When I gave her that ring that first Christmas, Poe, I told her that I’d always be there for her. I had a vision of our future in my head, and it looked an awful lot like this. I dreamed it. I believed it.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rey stood in the nursery looking down into the crib, Finn beside her and they were both smiling widely. 

 

“She’s so beautiful, Rey,” he said in a hushed whisper.

 

“I know. She really is,” she said softly as she looked down at her baby girl who was just three months old.

 

“I still can’t believe Padmé is real half the time. Ben and I will sometimes sit and hold her and just stare into her little face. It feels so surreal, like it’s all a dream.” 

 

Finn smiled gently “Well, you two have come a long way and earned your happy ending Peanut.” He put his hand on her shoulder.

 

“Yeah, I guess we really have. These last five years have been a roller coaster, but we made it through it all. Ben making peace with Han, me moving in with Ben, both of us finishing our degrees, Han and Leia getting back together, me going to work with Han, our wedding, Ben deciding on writing rather than teaching, you and Poe’s wedding, Ben getting his book deal, Hux and Rose finally admitting how they feel about each other and getting together?” she laughed and marveled at the enormity of it all. “Then this little bundle’s arrival. It’s been a whirlwind but so worth it.” 

 

Finn smiled. “It’s been quite a journey, but such a great one for all of us. I’ve never seen you so happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, Rey.” He stepped to her and hugged her. “I guess we should go back out and see what’s going on out there.” 

 

Rey nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, we should. I need to see what I can do to help get the rest of dinner put together. Just give me a few minutes in here with Padmé and we’ll be out. I love you, Finn; I’m so glad you and Poe could make the trip back to visit for the holidays.” 

 

Finn smiled. “Of course, Peanut, we wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rey stood in the nursery for a few minutes longer after Finn left and just stared down at her beautiful daughter. Padmé looked just like Ben in so many ways, her little head was covered with soft downy dark hair. She had his soft pale skin and plump pink lips, but the shape of her face and hazel green eyes were just like Rey’s. 

 

Padmé began to fuss a little, so Rey leaned down to scoop her up and cuddle her when Ben walked into the nursery, his large form seeming to dwarf the two of them. He came up behind Rey and wrapped his arms around her and Padmé from behind as he gazed down at them. 

 

“How are my two favorite girls in the whole world?” he asked gently.

 

“Someone’s getting a little fussy. I think I’m gonna need to feed her before we rejoin the party,” she said softly.

 

“Well, don’t let me stop you Sweetheart. I’ll sit with you while you feed her. You know I love watching you. They’ll be fine without us for a little bit. Mom will handle things out there with everyone while we’re in here. It’ll just be the three of us together, just like always. You know you two always come first.” He eased her over to the glider in the room and helped her sit and set herself up to breast feed their daughter.

 

He sat in the arm chair in the room beside her and watched her as she held their daughter’s head to her breast. Padmé latched on to her mother’s nipple and began to nurse. He watched in wonder as Rey fed her life-giving milk to their daughter and shook his head. 

 

“It still amazes me, the life that you give to her from your own body. That we’ve created this amazing new life and that you can sustain her with yours. It’s a god damn miracle Rey. All of it.” He swallowed hard. “I swear, I feel like I want to cry every time I see the two of you like this. My beautiful girls. I’m the luckiest man in the whole world.” 

 

He gazed at his girls, his heart filled with so much love and happiness, ever thankful for the blessing of the day Rey walked into his classroom and how this amazing woman somehow gave her heart to him.

 

“We’re the luckiest girls too, Ben, we have you,” she sighed softly while she felt her daughter suckle at her and then looked up at the man she loved more than anything in the world, the man who gave her a whole new life, the man who gave her love and showed her what home could be.

 

“Happy New Year, Rey. I love you.” 

 

“Happy New Year. I you too, Ben.” 

 

“Always,” he said to her with a smile. 

 

“Always,” she repeated, her smile wide and beautiful as could be.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/156947934@N03/44673459830/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to my beta [@perrydowning ](https://perrydowning.tumblr.com/) \- i could have never done this without her.
> 
> I'm at [@thedarkside-and-thelight ](https://thedarkside-and-thelight.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Feel free to come say Hi.


End file.
